Feeling crazy

[L.]

Hi,

I am new here. I am a homenurse from Belgium. (Sorry for my English, I am not good in languages.)

 My head is never quiet and I’m not feeling well because of it. That’s why I searched if there were people like me. That’s when I discovered this site. I have read a lot of your story’s, and some aspects are the same, but not everything. That’s why I tell you my story and I hope I can get some tips or answers.

I don’t think I am addicted to daydreaming, I just can’t control it. I am a homenurse ( I take care of people in there own home) and I drive a lot to go from patient to patient. While driving my head goes everywhere. I make up story’s in my head based around real people in my surroundings. The story’s are crazy and most of the time I am the victim. I’ve got shot, or stabbed, or I have a car accident and I am in a coma…. Sometimes I am the bitch or the hero…. I want attention from them and I don’t get enough attention so I make up stories in my head, I think. I do this as long as I remember, but it drives me crazy. The stories only stops when I am with someone I want attention from. That’s not so often because the centre people are mostly people out of my reach and it is not always a boy, once it was my aunt I wanted like she was my mother (My own mom is crazy, I don’t see her anymore). Now it is a boy and I am not necessary in love with him, I just want attention. When I am in a relationship it happens to and the centre people is never my boyfriend. Does that make sense?  And sometimes it’s a celebrity.  I just want my head to stop, it drives me crazy. I don’t know what to do, I begin to think I AM crazy….. I Want my mind to stop….. pleas help me…  (ps I never lose touch with reality, so that’s good)