Wild Minds Network

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WANT TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP BUT SCARED.

The title says it all.There are times i really want  a boyfriend. All my friends have one n at times i feel that even  want to have someone in my life. But the problem is that im scared that if i get into a relationship i will sacrifice my MD. I feel that because of being preoccupied with the relationship i will stop daydreaming . i have been dding for so long that now if feel that it is a part of  me and if i ignore it,it will be like betraying myself and also the characters of my daydreams whom im so attached to. Also i won't be able to tell everything about myself  and MD to my bf(IF i get one) and hence i feel that me being in a relationship ever is not worth it. Is someone else out there going through the same thing as me?

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Comment by Tanya on April 19, 2014 at 12:06pm

hey lily i had no intention to make you feel bad.i really sorry if u felt bad bcoz of it.and i will try following your advice but i also have problem trusting ppl n i feel my bf(if and wen i hve one)will judge me bcoz of my MD.I hve others problems and secrets as well which im not comfortable sharing wid ppl coz i think dt if they ever leave me they will have an advantage over me n cud destroy me...i mean not exactly destroy me but kinda like u knw tell mythem to other ppl.

Comment by Water Lily on April 19, 2014 at 11:37am

Hi Tanya,

You make me feel like a bad person! I have been "double dipping" for ages and only just recently told my husband about my MD. ...double dipping as in daydream life and real life relationships. I still don't think he understands what I'm talking about. He thinks my daydreaming is cute. 

A guy that is caring and smart (worth your time) will only be bothered if you are not investing enough time in your relationship..or making an effort to make him feel special. I suggest finding a guy who is a little quirky himself - that doesn't succumb to social norms. They would be more accepting.

Besides, all guys look at porn - think of your MD relationship as the female equivalent. 

Comment by Clouds on April 18, 2014 at 4:46pm

And that is SOOO true Antigone, our standards are probably much higher than those of "normal" people. It's actually pretty rare for me to see/meet a guy IRL that I find attractive, let alone who I click with and find interesting.

Because we've had the time to come up with idealized partners, no one in the real world could ever possibly live up to it.

Comment by Rosethewolf on April 18, 2014 at 12:25pm

I want a bf too but i am afraid to get one since i have a bf in my MD world and my MD has affected my ability to form a stable romantic relationship. I am happy with him ( He IS a real person, my best friend) but our romantic relationship only exist in my mind. I want a bf but a lot of the guys around me are smokers, idiots, or drunken fools. I don't want a guy like that.

Comment by Tanya on April 17, 2014 at 3:11am

i have said no to people who have proposed me bcoz somewhere deep inside i feel that my daydreams might come true. i keep waiting for people who are as perfect as the people in my daydreams.

Comment by The1andonlyAbber on April 16, 2014 at 8:43pm
OH MY GOODNESS I FEEL THE *EXACT* SAME WAY!!!

Seriously! I could have written that! I thought I was the only one! :-O
Comment by Clouds on April 16, 2014 at 5:38pm

I so get what you mean :C

I sometimes wonder if dudes would just find me too weird to date if I ever actually told them about my mental differences and the effects they've had in my life. They'd have to be a very accepting person.

Comment by San on April 14, 2014 at 4:02pm

I really want to be in a relationship, but daydreaming has made intimacy really hard for me. Also, I worry that I'm going to keep just waiting for someone who's as perfect as the people in my head.

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