Maladaptive Daydreaming

[Leanne]

I don't know too much about Maladaptive Daydreaming as I've not long heard about it. I've done a bit of research on it and I think I got the main idea of what it's all about. I couldn't help but feel that when I was reading on that I'd say things like..

''That sound like me.'' or ''That's what I do.''

To be honest, I'm glad it's an actual thing because for so long I thought that I can't be the only person who does this. That there has gotta be at least someone else out there that is going through exactly what I am. I believe that I have or at least a little of Maladaptive Daydreaming.

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Daydreaming is something I've done for as long as I can remember but it really starting coming into place when I soon started high school. It was January 2005 and was having the most horrible time in school. I was miserable and lonely. I remember reading a teen girls magazine and the name Charlie popped up and just stayed within my brain. Before I knew it, it was no longer just a name. I was imaging a person to go along with it. It was a girl, the same exact age as me. She was a happy and smiley girl. I thought about her a lot though I never thought about why she was there. She just was and I was happy to have her there in my mind.

As months went by, Charlie was developing into more of a character. She had a personality, she had style, she had somewhat of a background. It wasn't just her anymore, there was a whole other world along with her. She had friends and a home with a family. I soon realized why Charlie was so special to me and that was that she was someone who I wanted to be. The world she lived in was simply this world where I didn't exist because instead I'm this fantastic girl named Charlie. She was beautiful, had lots of friends that adore her, she was talented in so many areas like singing, drawing, playing the piano, speaking another language, etc. She was witty, funny and basically if she was an actual fictional character she'd probably be considered a mary-sue. A character who's too perfect that she's not realistic enough and doesn't seem to have enough flaws. Any flaw that she did have would be things that don't bother me, such as she's clumsy and not good at sports. 

I thought about her a lot, whenever I was alone, listening to music, whenever I saw anything that reminded me of her such as nice clothing or a cool hair style. She's been with me for the last ten years now I don't think she's going anywhere anytime soon. I don't want her to. She's likely gonna stick with me for a very long time. She ages with me, she was 11 and has now just turned 22. 

I don't think she, my other life is a bad thing. It takes me to another place where I'm happy.