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Feeling bad about my kitty

I adopted my 2nd cat, Mia, about 2 years ago. She's a beautiful, half Siamese or half Burmese lady. I got her so my cat, Grendel, would have company. He was so needy and I was working full time at the time. I always wondered whether it was fair to have even 1 kitty in a 425 square foot studio. After I got Mia, I kept agonizing over it. Now 2 years later, after going to the vet, we found out that she gained a little weight. She's just over 10 lbs so not obese by any means, but it shows me how inactive she is. She doesn't run around and play as much as she used to. I just got them a big new kitty tree, and she hasn't climbed all over it like I'd hoped. I just keep wondering if I'm not being cruel and selfish. She's grown up with Grendel, and they really love each other. We'd both be heart-broken if I gave her up, but I still wonder if she can ever be happy in such a small apartment. I've tried taking her out on a leash, but it's so hard when you have my anxieties. At first when I would do it, she'd always want to crawl under things like cars, so I'd get really scared. I'm always afraid she'll get off her leash. I started taking her out in her carrier with a leash attached, hoping she'll want to climb out, but she never does. I made the mistake of letting them run around the hallway outside my door when she was a baby. She got addicted to it, but then we were told we couldn't do that anymore. Then it really started to feel like I was being cruel because her world got even smaller. She doesn't seem to enjoy going out in the carrier, and she's not allowed to run around in the hall. She's stuck living in 425 square feet 24/7, and she's slowly gaining weight and not climbing as much as she used to. She sleeps most of the day. So does her brother, but he looks content. They wrestle a little and chase each other around a little. He keeps her butt and ears clean. He's a good big brother, and we both love her so much. I just wish I knew I could make her happier here. Grendel loves small spaces and often crawls under furniture to sleep for hours. He's perfectly suited for this place.

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Comment by Cordellia Amethyste Rose on October 10, 2011 at 11:24pm: I play with my cats every day. My boy kitty plays really enthusiastically, but my girl is very picky. She doesn't play with the laser light or many other toys. She likes a little string, but that's about it. My boy will chase anything, it seems.

Comment by Cordellia Amethyste Rose on October 6, 2011 at 8:59pm: The lady I adopted Mia from at the Humane Society just called. I had texted her frantically last week. She gave a few suggestions. She said to try different food and to just keep trying with Mia. It's been 2 years, but she remembered us and even remembered my other cat's name. She says it's not cruel to have a cat in a small apartment. She says Mia's always lived in a small area. The lady also has cats in really small rooms, and they're fine. She remembers me and says I seem like a fine cat owner to her, and it's probably just my own anxiety. I'll probably always worry about Mia,but it's nice to hear from an expert that I'm not being cruel to her. Thanks again to all who weighed in. I love my cats so much and just want them to be happy.

Comment by roxanne on October 2, 2011 at 7:06pm: Don't give her up.

Something else kitties love, for the most part, is being brushed. My female cat loves that as much as sleeping or eating.

As you said, too, siamese always talk more. Some people compare their sound to a baby crying or whining.

Comment by Cordellia Amethyste Rose on October 2, 2011 at 6:18pm: Thanks. I'll probably always worry about this as long as their personalities are so different. Grendel is happy and enthusiastic in a simple environment. He clearly prefers small, dark spaces, which makes my apartment like heaven to him. Mia is more talkative and is always meowing like she wants something but never seems quite entertained by anything. (She's also half Siamese or half Burmese, so she's naturally more talkative.) I even got a new laser pointer today, and while they were both chasing it, she was only doing so half-heartedly. Grendel was going nuts. This and the fact that so many think my apartment is a tiny, dark cave will probably always make me worry.

The funny thing is Mia's been going through a serious lap-kitty phase for the past couple of days. She goes through phases like this and then keeps her distance for awhile. Lately she's been all over my lap, snuggling and purring every time I sit down. After days of not climbing, she climbed on her old climber again. She still whines and looks bored much of the time, but she also purrs at least a few times a day. Grendel plays with her at some point in the evening. They love each other. I know he'd be devastated if I ever gave her up. I hope I'll never decide it's in her best interests to give her back. I hope it never is. I really do want to keep her.

Comment by roxanne on October 2, 2011 at 3:04pm: If I knew the names of any one who recommended you give her up, I'd put them on a black list to never get a pet.

Comment by Bibby on October 2, 2011 at 2:28pm: We have 4 female cats and they have different personalities. One of them likes to be held by the hour and one of them acts like we are barely tolerable. The other two are in between. Your kitty is fine.

Comment by Cordellia Amethyste Rose on October 2, 2011 at 12:16pm: I really hope you're right. I have such a tiny space. We both love her so much, though. On one hand, she curls up with us in the AM, by my feet, and she always wants to snuggle and purr in the bathroom for some reason. Grendel takes good care of her and plays with her. On the other hand, I was trying to play with them on the floor just now, and she looked so indifferent. My male kitty was running around enthusiastically chasing the string, but Mia was just sitting there staring at it and half-heartedly chasing it. He's settled in for a happy cat nap, while she's sitting on the floor looking bored.

Comment by roxanne on October 2, 2011 at 5:53am: Why on earth would any one suggest you give her up? Believe me, she is happier than you think. Cats get very settled in their environments and routines and other cats & people they are around. It is cruel to change that unless it just can't be helped. Don't listen to any one who says to give her up. Besides, placing an adult cat is very, very difficult. She is fine! :3

Comment by Cordellia Amethyste Rose on October 1, 2011 at 10:11pm: Every time I ask someone they seem to tell me I should give her up. I don't want to give her up. No one, until I act sad, says to keep her. I hate people right now.

Comment by roxanne on October 1, 2011 at 8:21pm: Female cats have to be more wary because in the wild they always are pregnant or have kittens, literally always. It's a very hard life for a female. So even when she's not in wild, that is her instinct. I always feel for the females and feel bad that people usually want males. They both make great pets, they are just different. She may be asking to go out in hall & not understand why she can't, but will get used to it. I would still try any kind of toy that moves, as Sarah suggested; pulling a string is the classic cat toy. It sounds like she is eating well, so it's probably not any thing physical.