This is going to sound annoying. Living in a town for 29 years, all I ever heard by others is that I'm so quiet. They literally couldn't get a word out of me. I was too busy daydreaming in my head to realize how I looked on the outside. I actually never knew it made me look stupid. Non-family can be vigorous that way. I always used MD as a way to escape my frustrations, but it did me more harm that good, so I had to quit. It was the best decision I made. 

What reasons did you start doing MD? We're their any social issues involved that triggered this? 

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Comment by Jessica Ballantyne on October 20, 2021 at 6:58am

I remember when I was younger, I used to stare out into the distance too often. I was socially deprived like I am today, but I couldn't figure out why. People kept making the same remarks towards me, and didn't like me as a person. I was frustrated that is something I can never change. That's probably why I was quite the daydreamer. 

Comment by Jessica Ballantyne on October 20, 2021 at 6:50am

I had a choice (before covid) to get out of my cocoon and make a difference. I don't know what discouraged me to begin with. There are loads of things to do in the city. I think the problem is many "grown ups" do things at night time, because they go to work in the day. I'm not a night hawk or anything like that. I almost don't ever go out at night, especially when there is a deadly virus. 

Comment by Jessica Ballantyne on October 20, 2021 at 6:36am

And yet, their behaviour and actions can be cruel or damaging. They don't even say sorry later on, after they eventually grow up from that. They just disappear forever, leaving you with the memories. It's like, "So sorry, I was a kid, and I behaved like a jerk, and and low self-esteem, but that was a long time ago. So long." 

For years, I mingled with different crowds that I did not get on with at all. I'm so glad I never saw them since. I sometimes wonder if they affected other people the same way. 

Comment by Kiruba Victor on October 19, 2021 at 10:20pm

Yeah, mean people are looking for chances to bully others. So it's not really us. It's them who are at fault really. You can't persuade someone who is prepared to do something, to go the other way.

Comment by Jessica Ballantyne on October 19, 2021 at 4:42pm

I was so quiet all my life, that I literally made everybody "think" I'm so stupid. I got dissed, cursed at, bullied, demeaned...you name it. There are a lot of mean people out there. 

Comment by Jessica Ballantyne on October 19, 2021 at 4:26pm

White people can actually marry whoever, even another race. We're not so limited to traditions. 

Comment by Kiruba Victor on October 18, 2021 at 5:53pm

Well, that's a wish that might never get fulfilled for me, or a lot of Indians for that matter. Getting married to a foreigner. But yeah, I do have some foreign friends now, thanks in part to this group and the one on Facebook.

Comment by Jessica Ballantyne on October 18, 2021 at 1:26pm

Sometimes I feel as if I grew up believing in my own lies...

Comment by Jessica Ballantyne on October 18, 2021 at 11:27am

Just a thought. I spent my life getting on better with foreigns far more than typical Canadians. I honestly don't think I'm going to get romantically involved or married to a Canadian bred. The people I chum with usually have an accent. My family members have married people within their own ethnicity. So I'm thinking the person could be British-Celtic. Unless I meet a very unusual individual, kind of like myself, who cares for me no matter what I do. But what are the odds?

Comment by Kiruba Victor on October 18, 2021 at 10:16am

Yeah, most people are neurologically mainstream whereas we are the minority. So, people find us difficult to understand.

They say it's never too late to change. I don't know how much of that is true, but hey, it's worth a shot, isn't it?

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