This is going to sound annoying. Living in a town for 29 years, all I ever heard by others is that I'm so quiet. They literally couldn't get a word out of me. I was too busy daydreaming in my head to realize how I looked on the outside. I actually never knew it made me look stupid. Non-family can be vigorous that way. I always used MD as a way to escape my frustrations, but it did me more harm that good, so I had to quit. It was the best decision I made. 

What reasons did you start doing MD? We're their any social issues involved that triggered this? 

Views: 3104

Comment

You need to be a member of Wild Minds network to add comments!

Join Wild Minds network

Comment by Kiruba Victor on July 30, 2021 at 12:30am

Yeah, living in our heads, we can't quite figure what goes on outside, what people think and all. They may say something but do something else entirely, and I can't quite catch on, yet.

I think back then, people weren't aware about mental health, and so, if someone seems odd, they'd pick on them for their own popularity and ego. Now that everyone is more aware about it, people start to understand it and I feel bullying has reduced a lot now.

Comment by Jessica Ballantyne on July 29, 2021 at 3:12pm

This hasn't occurred to me until up to now. I didn't live in the real world (like the NORM does) the people who don't do what WE do everyday, MD. That is why I fell hard on my face in all sectors of life. Whether its relationships, family or career success. To them, I'm from another planet. That is why I'm in my situation. That is why they get cheeky towards me. I let them walk all over me. A survivor understands the world around them. People get what they want by opening their mouths and proving themselves. Working hard at it. People get where they want to be don't MD. 

Comment by Jessica Ballantyne on July 29, 2021 at 7:36am

I think I was so complacent in my youth, I was caught onto a fantastical outlook on life. I didn't think, "Oh no, I have to survive somehow. I have to go to college. I have to save myself. I might not be in a relationship for a while." I was studying art at an academy in the city, but didn't stop to question, "Will this make me any money?"
I was also confident I'll get married by at least between ages 25-35. But I didn't think to myself, "Who will be interested in me?" Will I be Ok with dating and relationships? I seem to be on my own a lot. I just didn't THINK. 

Comment by Jessica Ballantyne on July 29, 2021 at 6:32am

I think maybe I'm running into the wrong crowds. Ever since I moved to my hometown, it's been like that for me. Everybody turned the same face on me. I'm getting sick and tired of it. I want a new life and beginning, but I can't get around my mom. 

I can't stand where I live either. It was nice when I was growing up. Now I'm getting bored with looking at the scenery. I wanted to leave years back. Problem with me is that I'm waffling and I should do the opposite. It's a tough fact in life, but what happened to me was my problem. 

Comment by Jessica Ballantyne on July 29, 2021 at 6:22am

I can't believe how thick and unperceptive I was as a young person. When you live in other worlds, it's awfully hard to make critical judgements of what is actually going on around you. When I lived in the head of Jessica, I didn't realize how much I effected everybody with my verbal skills and lack there of. So the whole place was talking about me all at once, and yet I didn't give a crap as to why. People honestly kept on rejecting me and I just thought, "What? Do I smell?"

Years later nobody is there at all. I haven't been to college in a while. I'm always at home with my mother and while my dad works upstairs. It just dawns on me what others were seeing when I was around. They literally felt that I had no absolutely friends. I just never said a word all day. So they wondered if I was even smart. 

Pardon, this is very old news. I feel as if people are not looking at me like I'm a person. They see me as this creature of no words and intelligence. Some of them get all mean and sarcastic. And I'm afraid after covid it's going to happen AGAIN. 


Comment by Kiruba Victor on July 29, 2021 at 5:23am

My case, I hung out with people who were good at starting conversations, and since I was decent at continuing them, I had a decent time talking to them and making friends with them. Lucky you that Toronto is a multicultural place. Here in India, it's Indians 99 percent of the time. Even in Muscat, where I lived my teenage life, I was mostly surrounded by fellow Indians despite there being people from Pakistan or Bangladesh etc. That's why the Facebook group on MD as well as the WhatsApp one were very good places for me to start talking to people from other countries.

I hope to meet a special someone who understands me better than my mom ever did, but the heart is still yearning for it.

Yeah, people will move to who talks better to them quickly, out of their own need to talk. Most of them don't seem to go past initial judgments.

Comment by Jessica Ballantyne on July 28, 2021 at 5:25pm

I wonder if most people simply left me behind, because they simply didn't find me talkative and normal. I've heard some plain that I don't make eye contact. 

Comment by Jessica Ballantyne on July 28, 2021 at 12:38pm

Have you ever heard the song "Don't Stop Believin?" by Journey. I heard it on the radio at a store last weekend. It's been running in my head all day today. They used it in Glee as well. There is some significance to that song, if you listen to the lyrics. And it's so true, never stop believing. 

Just because you deal with difficult adults who say no way, doesn't mean they're always right. It's your life after all. You need to find yourself out there. Anything's possible. Nobody cares about or understands your satisfaction like you do. 

I failed to get out there, because of my mom. She took me the wrong way, was appalled that I frequently daydreamed, and was concerned this will effect absolutely everything. 

I think the possibility is, I will meet a special person who will help me achieve my goals. Like I won't do this alone. 

Comment by Jessica Ballantyne on July 28, 2021 at 8:51am

I live in a huge country called Canada. I am quite Ok making friends in this part. Since it's so wide open and touches two oceans. Plus I live in a region that is very multicultural. Toronto is a city of all world cultures. So everything I need is right here. 

Yes, I was a fool to bounce up and down to the lake coast, thinking somebody will just notice me. It's funny and awful at the same time. 

Something stunned me this morning. I looked back at my youthful years and remembered people who were way more extravert than me. I remember how everybody talked about me behind my back. One of them was like Lea Michell from Glee. It makes me feel so bad. Then entering the real world, I just met adults who sounded like my peers. They seemed to jump in there and react strongly on me in an unhealthy way, because I didn't socialize, talk much and lived in my head. What creeps me out is that anybody who socializes can be like this and will instantly tell I have no one. Therefore they'll do what they want around me. It's horrible when you think about it. 

So I'm thinking when covid is bit the dust, I'm going to change my life. 

Comment by Kiruba Victor on July 28, 2021 at 8:38am

Yeah, they do have lives of their own. They won't meet us until we make ourselves known to them. I also never hung around a group long enough to be a part of them. In my school days, I had very few friends, one of whom I'm still in touch with and very close too. My college friends as well are close to me.

I do like to make friends online, but yeah, given an option between real meet and online meet, I'd choose real, since the bond would be stronger. 

That was a very good analogy. I also partied hard that it wrecked my brain.

One thing I wish for, is to have friends in different places all over the world. Not just India. That's why reaching out to fellow MDers was a decent first step towards that.

© 2024   Created by Valeria Franco.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service

G-S8WJHKYMQH Real Time Web Analytics

Clicky