So I am dealing with something right now and there are not a lot of people that I can discuss it with. It occurs to me that this community is one that would likely understand.

Have any of you ever created a character in your daydreams based on a real person? Do you feel as if you actually had a relationship with that person when, in fact, you did not?

In high school I had a major infatuation with a girl in my class. She was a fairly popular girl, but I was not a popular guy. I tried to get close to her a couple of times, but I was very shy and introverted then and did not really know how to deal with a girl that I was very strongly attracted to. She pretty much treated me as just another face in the crowd and I am sure never knew how I felt about her, nor did I ever tell anyone about it, even my friends. I knew that she was not a girl that I was ever going to have any kind of a romantic relationship with, so I made her my girlfriend in my fantasies. She stayed a character in my fantasies for several years after high school, but eventually we broke up even in my daydreams.

Just this week I learned that this girl - the REAL girl - died last month from pancreatic cancer. I feel a bit broken up about it. I know that she was a wonderful person and it is a great loss for her family, but I feel it like it is a personal loss as well, even though I was in love with a fantasy character that just borrowed her name and face, and not with the real person.

My days of having relationships with fantasy characters is mostly over now, and I have a real life relationship with a real-life wife. Still, I am feeling a loss that is undue for the real-life relationship that I had with a girl that I barely knew in high school.

Can anyone here relate to this? I figured if anyone could, it would be those in this community.

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I don't think I would describe this as "exactly" the same, but certainly it is similar. Basing a fantasy character on a picture in a magazine or newspaper of someone that you never met seems more like daydreaming about a celebrity or a character played by a celebrity. When I was in high school I was around this young lady frequently, almost every day in fact for four years.  I did know her voice, physicality and personality. I just didn't know them as well as I would have liked, and the missing pieces I filled in through my daydreaming as I would have wanted them to be. The rock group thing is pretty close, though. Never happened in reality, of course, but it did in a fantasy story line.

Well, maybe I should claim the "exactly same" title here. :P

One of my MD story, has characters all based on real-life people I know. It includes all of my friends, classmates, and other people etc, and I categorize them into roles listed below:

Main characters: Includes three version of myself, my first (and so far the only) crush, and 2 of my best friends. They may face difficulties or even tragedies, but of course with always a happy ending.

The "good" people: Includes some friends and classmates I get along well. Most survive throughout the story, but some are honorably sacrificed. That means I had killed many of them in a quite comfortable manner already...

The "bad" people (antagonists): Mostly people that I am not familiar with. I know very little about them, so is easier for me to place them into this category.

The spies: Some of my classmates that I don't get along well with. Instead of the main antagonists, they have more detailed characters for me to imagine and are best sorted into this area of the story.

These are all categories; and in the story, I made one of the version of myself to date with my crush, and eventually marry my crush. Sometimes, this ending feels awkward to me: I know my crush has a boyfriend and I haven't contacted her for 8 years already. What mainly makes me different from you is that, I am still loving my crush despite not personally knowing her anymore. So if you ask that do I get your feeling, I would probably answer yes: sometimes even we MDers make a person we know turn into a fake character, in our heart they are still representing quite an important role to our life. But for me, if anything happens to my crush now, I won't be sure my tears would be due to the loss of an unreal relationship in my mind, or be due to the loss of the real person herself.

For me I think it is the loss of the actual person. As for the character based on her, I moved on from that many years ago. Still, it is a bit hard to separate the real person from the fantasy person, but since my relationship with the fantasy person is in an "alternate reality" universe, she does not have to suffer the same fate as the real one, and can continue living her alternate life if I so choose. 

On another note, I am kind of intrigued with the concept of categorizing characters as "good", "bad" and "spies". Good and bad I can understand, but the "spies" concept is kind of a new one. I have cast people that I have known into the role of "bad". I don't quite get the "spies" role and how it differs from bad and why you would cast your real life antagonists differently from your daydream antagonists.

In my story, the background is probably a little bit similar to hunger games (ehh, don't judge this because I didn't read the whole story anyway), where the conflicts roll like a snowball that it eventually require us to solve it by simply, killing the other "team". So, for the antagonists, their action if considered from their standpoint might not even be that bad, is just that the end result would hurt the good people severely. Complete evilness and complete good simply doesn't exist in my story (if there is one that is close to complete good, then it will be my crush in the story), and this diversity allows me to evaluate the content pretty comfortably. Therefore, while in stories the antagonist may be defined as "bad", their true personalities in both the real life or even in the story itself, is not that bad for me when I occasionally MD it.

However, for some people that I truly don't like in real life, I decide to make them even less appealing than the antagonists in the story. Here comes the "spies"; still I won't make them look pure evil, is just that they would have some mental problems, causing them to commit to betrayals, and hatred to good/main characters for a not as convincing reasons compare to the "bad" people. The reason I choose this approach, probably is because of my frustration on trying to understand them: so in my daydream, I express this frustration, by putting them into mental problematic category :P.

The MD character you based on was a celebrity that you don't know personally. In OP and my case, our MD based on real person that we know personally. For a person that has little understanding of how celebrity affects one, the concept of a deceased celebrity simply doesn't match the influence of a deceased real person bring. By no means to disrespect your opinion, just to point out why I, and maybe OP would not consider this as the same feeling when I(we) see your first comment.

In the other way round, I must admit that I didn't, fully understand the viewpoint of a deceased MD character; my age restricts me to do so, at age ~20 it is very unlikely for someone at my age passed away, and none of the characters in my story has yet deceased (yes, I have a lot). My viewpoint as a result might turn out to be wrong because it is partly based on my imagination. What I am confident of, is that I understand how a story based on real life characters are like; and if my previous comments give the impression of that I understand/able to relate everything fully, then I might have to say sorry that I mislead you to think so.

Theaxe said:

Do you know if she's alive? In [our] case, the people we've MD'd about are deceased and there is no hope of being in contact with them. As long as someone is alive, there is always a chance of bumping in to them even though you think the chance is slim. I think this is why some people experience parasocial relationships with celebrities (even if they don't have MD) because they can feel a connection even though they would never meet. Once the person dies, usually with 'normal' people, the acceptance that there never will be a relationship quashes that idea completely. I could be wrong, but I think most people with MD can creatively keep the person alive and well in their daydreams if that happened.

Fishno7 said:

Well, maybe I should claim the "exactly same" title here. :P

One of my MD story, has characters all based on real-life people I know. It includes all of my friends, classmates, and other people etc, and I categorize them into roles listed below:

Main characters: Includes three version of myself, my first (and so far the only) crush, and 2 of my best friends. They may face difficulties or even tragedies, but of course with always a happy ending.

The "good" people: Includes some friends and classmates I get along well. Most survive throughout the story, but some are honorably sacrificed. That means I had killed many of them in a quite comfortable manner already...

The "bad" people (antagonists): Mostly people that I am not familiar with. I know very little about them, so is easier for me to place them into this category.

The spies: Some of my classmates that I don't get along well with. Instead of the main antagonists, they have more detailed characters for me to imagine and are best sorted into this area of the story.

These are all categories; and in the story, I made one of the version of myself to date with my crush, and eventually marry my crush. Sometimes, this ending feels awkward to me: I know my crush has a boyfriend and I haven't contacted her for 8 years already. What mainly makes me different from you is that, I am still loving my crush despite not personally knowing her anymore. So if you ask that do I get your feeling, I would probably answer yes: sometimes even we MDers make a person we know turn into a fake character, in our heart they are still representing quite an important role to our life. But for me, if anything happens to my crush now, I won't be sure my tears would be due to the loss of an unreal relationship in my mind, or be due to the loss of the real person herself.

I don't think the fact that Theaxe's character was based on someone that she didn't actually know made it any less real for her (I am assuming that Theaxe is female based on previous comments, please excuse my if I am wrong). I can easily see that emotional attachment happening. Really, the difference is a minor one and mostly semantic. I think that you have every right to mourn that person. He was important to you and the reason he  was important doesn't really matter. Now, I wouldn't go as far as to go to his funeral and talk about your relationship with your character based on him. That wouldn't be appropriate, but your feelings are your feelings and they are real. But since your character is really your own creation, the character does not have to die just because the person it was based on did.

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