Hello, I just wanted to respond here to the comment you made on my blog, just in case you don't check back for replies on blogs. Thank you for your comment, it was very interesting!
What you said about your 8th grade teacher really touched me. I felt like that about a manager at one of my old jobs, too. He was not physically attractive, just as you said about your teacher, yet I had vivid sex dreams about him, and desired approval from him. I was one of his favorite workers and he always complimented me. The exact same situation I'm having now! Although, this one IS quite physically attractive, and so I'm all kinds of confused haha. But the thing you said about avoiding him, I have to fight not to avoid my current manager. I have to fight to overcome that urge to avoid eye contact and lock up whenever he's around.
Also, I understand why you'd be drawn to an older man. I've been there, too. It can be really exciting! I hate to use the word attention whore, but I've felt like that, too. Back when I was around your age, I would flirt with/hook up with older men and would feel kind of proud of myself. I'd brag to my friends about it because I felt accomplished. I felt excited. I would obsess over those moments and replay them over and over.