This is going to sound annoying. Living in a town for 29 years, all I ever heard by others is that I'm so quiet. They literally couldn't get a word out of me. I was too busy daydreaming in my head to realize how I looked on the outside. I actually never knew it made me look stupid. Non-family can be vigorous that way. I always used MD as a way to escape my frustrations, but it did me more harm that good, so I had to quit. It was the best decision I made. 

What reasons did you start doing MD? We're their any social issues involved that triggered this? 

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Comment by Kiruba Victor on Tuesday

Well, that's a wish that might never get fulfilled for me, or a lot of Indians for that matter. Getting married to a foreigner. But yeah, I do have some foreign friends now, thanks in part to this group and the one on Facebook.

Comment by Jessica Ballantyne on Monday

Sometimes I feel as if I grew up believing in my own lies...

Comment by Jessica Ballantyne on Monday

Just a thought. I spent my life getting on better with foreigns far more than typical Canadians. I honestly don't think I'm going to get romantically involved or married to a Canadian bred. The people I chum with usually have an accent. My family members have married people within their own ethnicity. So I'm thinking the person could be British-Celtic. Unless I meet a very unusual individual, kind of like myself, who cares for me no matter what I do. But what are the odds?

Comment by Kiruba Victor on Monday

Yeah, most people are neurologically mainstream whereas we are the minority. So, people find us difficult to understand.

They say it's never too late to change. I don't know how much of that is true, but hey, it's worth a shot, isn't it?

Comment by Jessica Ballantyne on Monday

I think that I expected so much, so soon. And nothing came. Maybe it wasn't the right timing or I didn't do the right things. Still, I find it hard to understand why nothing came up...You expect things from life...and they're just a no show?

Comment by Jessica Ballantyne on Monday

I think my problem is that I ground myself up in the same place, where nobody can meet and see me. And I tend to be verbally and emotionally "shut off" on others, like a wall. When all they're trying to do is get to know me. 
So they gave up on me altogether. I expected to get engaged, but I didn't come along, probably because I didn't pay attention to others, but also, I never met anybody who was just like me. Meanwhile, I'm just sailing through life all by myself...

Comment by Jessica Ballantyne on Monday

I think my difficulty could be that I'm Atypical. This world is dominantly run by Neurotypicals. So I'm expected to shape up and behave like them?? Problem is we are all born in different shapes and forms. Our brains are not all the same, and we come from different tribes. How can we all "talk and look" the same?? 

I think my biggest weakness is definitely talking up for myself way more. I've been normal to myself, but for everybody else that wasn't the case. They found something not quite normal and right about me. Maybe I kept on meeting the wrong people and joining the wrong crowds. It's very baffling out there, when you're trying to find the right match. It's super hard when you don't have the courage to get out there and talk to others every single day. 

I never understood why it was YES for everybody else, and NO for me. Maybe they found me the weakest and dumbest looking person around. I honestly didn't open my mouth that much. Bottom line is they found me socially weird. 

But that is why I want to change and renew myself, so these issues do not persist. There are so many values I learned today, which I had no idea about when I was 15. 

Comment by Kiruba Victor on Monday

Yeah, that's about what I wanna do as well. I'm taking steps for it, but it has been real slow. I attended an interview today, got a test for tomorrow. So I gotta check to see how that goes.

Comment by Jessica Ballantyne on Monday

What I'd change about my life is being more approachable and giving others a strong, positive and friendly-going impression. Take life's matters way more seriously and stop being a goof. Get out of my cocoon and show my face to the world, and take part in a community. Think and create things on an ongoing basis—I've been blocked and uninspired in this virus. Thrive in a career that I would actually enjoy. Learn to be an independent adult. 

Comment by Jessica Ballantyne on Sunday

Prove to people that I am a smart person, very talented, and geared to further my education, above all, see the world. I'm not what I appear..they got it wrong. Everybody has goals and ambitions. To change my life, I will not let anybody bring me down. I will bring myself up. 

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