Where wild minds come to rest
just discovered I very probably have MD, I just meet all the requirements, the obsessive fantasizing, being a hero, doing grand things for humanity, etc, etc... when I look at it from a distance (in one of those rare moments....) I think my thinking is actually very obsessed with
a) myself: my desires, frustrations, angers, irriatation
b) the future: always seeing a bright future full of succes, money, stardom , etc, etc
well the thing is, I really have been dreaming about having a stellar career in music since I was a child. But since my MD is so all over the place, it's also hard to ' just get to it', meaning, just practicing and doing all the practical things you have to do to just keep on rolling'. Cause in the background there's this grand fantasy about me finally making that big time breakthrough and also revenge fantasies about absolutely ridiculisering the people that have never ever taken me seriously for one second or have never given me a break.
and since these fantasies are sooo 360 degrees VR-like, with all sounds and emotions too, it's hard to just snap out of them, cause the thinking is so obsessive and all over the place.
I mean, I do meditate, and yes it helps for a while, but Geez, this condition is really something.
Hope you guys understand me and can maybe give me some kind of advice...