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Thought this song might help some of you. It's so relatable to MD. Here are the lyrics~ https://youtu.be/385ULKbiyBo Just Getting By- Tenth Avenue North Oh, when we were born When we first arrived We…

Thought this song might help some of you. It's so relatable to MD. Here are the lyrics~

https://youtu.be/385ULKbiyBo

Just Getting By- Tenth Avenue North

Oh, when we were born
When we first arrived
We took it all in
Through innocent eyes
But we got jaded, 'cause the beauty faded
So now we fake it in worlds built in the sky
But we keep coming up dry
I'm waking up to what's around me
I've lost too much to a fantasy
I'm tired of living like I'm just getting by
Just getting by
Am I just getting by?
Life can take a toll
Everyday demands 
So much energy so many mundane plans
So we go digital, purely physical
Hey, it's just medicinal
We need to ease our minds
I'm waking up to what's around me
I've lost too much to a fantasy
I'm tired of living like I'm just getting by
Just getting by
Am I just getting by?
I want to be all here now
Wherever I am, that's where I'll be found
Staying present even in the fear now
Life with open eyes
Please don't pass me by
Life don't pass me by
Life don't pass me by
Feel a spark when we look each other in the eye...
I'm waking up to what's around me
I've lost too much to a fantasy
I'm tired of living like I'm just getting by
Just getting by
Am I just getting by?
I DON'T WANNA JUST GET BY!

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Comment by Dreamcatcher on July 27, 2018 at 5:11pm

Hey Sam, 

I absolutely agree! Fantasizing the "good version" of life is the temporary, immediately-gratifying answer when reality gets rough or painful. But in return, it incapacitates you even further from being able to face reality when you try to live it again...when you want to live it. 

And that's a good suggestion. I think the MDD-ing started with wanting to live an exciting life because that is what we are taught to strive for. Seeing people around me combined with values and expectations I grew up with from people and media, I always thought I needed to be something exclusive or extraordinary to be successful, recognized, and ultimately "happy". That was coupled with a desire to do anything to be wanted and loved by everybody (since I struggled with bullying, social awkwardness, and loneliness as a kid). 
The easiest thing to experience all this, of course, was to just imagine all of it in my head and convince myself it was actually happening to me to feel that fulfillment. 

After all the crap I've done to myself because of it, living the simple, ordinary life seems so beautiful. Being able to pay attention to everyday tasks I do is a huge deal. And I agree, facing my problems and hard emotions actually feels great, because its something real and I'm not running away anymore. 

But it's really challenging - I keep going on and off. I'll succeed for sometime, but the moment life gets to a certain level of stressful and boring, I automatically switch to fantasy mode, like it's happening without my control or permission. This is hardest part I'm battling with.

Comment by Sam on July 27, 2018 at 3:14am

Hey Dreamcatcher,
I totally get you, slowly waking up to the realization that avoidance of reality greatly harms in the long run. You can waste so much time and effort that you're not putting into truly living.

I got to a point where I just wanted to live in a dream full time and reject reality. I tend to slip into a fantasy when I find life too stressful and overwhelming, a catch 22 because spending so much time in a fantasy helps you dissociate from reality and coming out again to face "the real world" its problems and basic routines becomes harder and harder every time.

We just need to face the pain and discomfort of the real world anxieties to move through. I think the media teaches us that you're not happy if you're life isn't lived a certain way or if you don't have certain things and relationships. The ordinary is so detested that it's so easy to create a reality of your own making to control to cope with the inconsistencies in life.

I'm learning to not put too much pressure on living life a certain way; just to accept my ordinary and not hide from the things I don't like about the world or myself- because how will it ever change if I don't face it head on?

Comment by Dreamcatcher on July 26, 2018 at 11:09pm

Hey there. Good find with the song lyrics. It's totally relatable! Especially the ending...that's the state I'm in at this moment...
"Staying present even in the fear now".... It's painful but it's something I've been doing lately just to feel like I still have some feeling or grounding in reality and not be completely lost in my daydreams, now that I've realized all the damage it's caused me in my life

Thanks 

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