Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest
I used to think MD was cool. Kind of like when someone smokes. I was a young kid, and didn't know what harm MD can actually do. I did believe that MD was assuring me that life will get better and adventurous, at that. So I looked forward to experiencing an amazing life. What I didn't realize is that MD was lying to me the whole time. It didn't promise anything of the sort. It was just a sequence of entertaining stories in my head that kept me going. I have noticed while I was doing MD, that real life did not look the same way. It was very bland, gritty and serious, not as interesting. Eventually, I noticed that I kept on falling out of it, and when I had important errands, I got nervous or worried, because I knew deep down that I wasn't living in this world, I was running back to my daydreams. Although, some people did not easily notice I was doing it, other people surveyed my face and had something to say about this. Over the years, I lost control and it nearly messed with my real life. My jobs didn't last and I didn't get good marks in school. Overall, my friends and family started making remarks about how I looked and could tell I was somewhere else, not listening to them. I made actions or said things that really offended people, and I didn't know it or wake up to it, because I was living in my head. I didn't take smart steps to make sure I was happy and financially fine. I generally lulled off into complacency and didn't think I will run into cautious situations that may lead me to poverty, such as covid-19. After I learned to stop MD, I look at my life and realize I was so distracted by my fantasies, I didn't make life's big moves, such as getting a house and holding a permanent job and traveling. I realized what it means to be alive and awake in the world. I still have time and a whole future ahead of me. Still I have to make up for what I lost.