Want to compare my experience (Long text)

Hi everyone, I’m French, 23 and I just recently found out that there is a medical term for my « inside stories » that is maladaptive daydreaming . I’m happy that there is such a place to talk with you all.
I read a lot about your own experiences, I saw that some of you wants to stop because it can affect love or social life.

I started daydream in middle school, around 12 or 13 yo. At that time I was often bullied and my days were long and lonely. I loved (and still do) to project myself as main character of some book or movie or serie and either remake the story or mix it with other stories that I like. I got really into it and when I’m alone I make myself cry, or angry, or fired up, or sad. And I also listen to music.

At some point, I don’t remember when, I found out that play with some tennis ball help me focus on my stories and started to do it a lot. My family found it strange but got used to it. I never told anyone that I had such vivid dreams and plot in my head, so I guess they just stop thinking about how weird I am. Music and walking and any activity that doesn’t need to think about it and I also MD. I try not to do anything weird when MD but I know that I do a blank and bored face.

I always had hard time to focus at school or with others but this habit made it even more difficult, I can cut myself completely from a conversation if I’m too bored and go with some much entertaining story in my head.

It always had been something I like but recently (not last year though) I realized that I rather spend my evening alone than go out with my friends or spend time with my family. I always come to regret it when I realize everyone had a good time and I chose not to. And also it is a way to spend time and procrastinate while I should now start to find a job and a place to live and make my own life. Though I love it and don’t want to stop, I feel like I should find a way not to be so addicted to it. I spent four months with a flatmate 2 years ago and it was really difficult not to be able to do my thing everytime she was here.

Does anyone know how to find a balance and not use MD to escape from my life anytime I have a stressful change coming?

Thank you all
Stay safe

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Comment by Varya on February 19, 2021 at 1:52pm
Hello. I'm the same age as you, and i can totally relate to not wanting to quit part. See, it's the trickiest thing about any kind of addiction - you don't really want to stop until you face the consequences. And even when you do it's still seems so nice and innocent.
Forme it's the second time I try to actively fight this issue. At first one was when i was 18. I haven't heard of this condition, but it became obvious that my daydreams damage my life. That attempt was quite successful at first. But then i started giving up, because my life kept falling apart (or i saw it that way). So i slowly started bouncing back. Only recently I received my second wake up call. And i don't want to waste this chance.
Sorry, this text came out long and mainly self-focused. It's hard to express everything i want to say, especially since English isn't my first language. Anyway, i think you should try to quit as well. Just make it your top priority. And focus on the current changes in your life - they can be quite engaging.
Comment by Hayal on February 19, 2021 at 2:50am
I can totally relate to that, I hope to fine a way to control it, It's really miserable when you realize that you lose all that time day dreaming about something that will never happen and fantasies than having a real life :(
Comment by Jessica Ballantyne on February 3, 2021 at 3:53pm

You say your addicted and don't want to quit. You might thank me 10 years from now when I say, "do quit or keep it to a minimum." I wish that I was 23 when discovering maladaptive daydreaming, but I was actually 30 when I found Wild Minds. I also happen to have Asperger syndrome, which doesn't make my life any easier. I was 12 to 13 when I started MD, and it was very entertaining, but in the long run, it was destroying my life. I found it hard to concentrate in class and got bare grades. I went to a low grade college where my grades weren't so great. Afterwards, I faced years of unstable employment. I never managed to move out. Lots of people berated me for not listening to them—not to mention how cringed they felt whenever I laughed at inappropriate moments. My mom later discovered my MD, got angry and gave me a hard time about it. My dad told me to get rid of my tunnel vision waves, and reminded me there's a whole world out there, when I'm crashing around in my own world. Now at 34, I look back at years thrown away to silly daydreams. I could've lived a much better life if it weren't for my MD; extended my education, got decent jobs, had relationships, traveled to countries, had children. Now I'm in a funk, living in my parent's house for 29 years, not having went out there and finding myself. MD sure can you make you smile and glowing inside, but when you've seen life and wake up one day, it leaves you feeling lost and alone than ever. Your peers, friends, neighbours and co-works have moved on with their lives. All you can remember is the weird worlds you were in. 

Comment by Life must be on January 31, 2021 at 12:08pm
Thankx for sharing

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