Where wild minds come to rest
I don’t know how to start this but it was going so well in morning, in my day dream. Now at this point there will be so many grammar. I have 7 novel worthy imagination plus hundreds o movie sequel and prequel in my mind with I as a main character. Honestly I didn’t know Maladaptive daydreaming was a thing until I came across this. For my belief this started when I was in 7th grade exact same time my alcoholic and abusive father came back after 5 year being in London. Before knowing MD was a thing I thought I had a Bipolar which was pretty decent explanations for my highs and lows or Schizophrenia for me being unable to separate reality. However both o them weren’t case because my highs and lows were happening pretty often and it couldn’t just fit the symptoms of bipolar disorder. Then schizophrenia, no girl, I always knew that those fantasies where fake. Well sometimes I thought I did my assignment or sent a message but I did them in my imaginary world and not in real world. After reading many article I had extreme, extreme MD going on for last 3 years with developing MD for 4 years(starting from 7th grade). Who knew my real problem was MD. lately I won’t do my school work or even sleep just to daydream. Sometimes my daydreaming would last for a week with me getting no sleep. At first music was everything for me to daydream but right now I just lost connection with real world when I daydream that I don’t hear the music or where I am going. Because of my extreme fantasizing thing have been pretty stressful cause I can’t do my assignment because all I wanna or doing is to daydream. I don’t have any courage to open up about it with my friends, family, or even therapist that I have therapist of my own in one of my imaginary world. Now I am thinking I had him since I started daydreaming, I suppose. I tried to tell my friend but you know what she said. “I know me too I sometimes day dream during exams for few minutes then I’m like what happened” Are you kidding me few minutes. No baby I daydream for an hours or even days and weeks. Once I start there is no stopping unless I sleep but sometimes, sleeping is not case since MD become some kind of endless supply of caffeine. Right now my school grade lowering as I daydream. They even put me in ZAP( people go there when their grade is lower than 60) but its not gonna work. I don’t even remember what to do after I come home because all I do is Daydream. I dream about success and never work. And reduce triggers, silly I am at a state where almost everything is trigger. I even had a panic attack because of my daydreaming. Crying, laughing hazardously, or getting into depression, or running in middle of night have become almost regular case. I had 3, 4 panic attack thanks to my daydreaming and It was horrible. So horrible. Right i have failed one class and i have 2 exams tommorow but still have not studied yet. I really need to deal with this right now. Help me what should i do? i told my counselor about this but she didn't believed in me at all. Literally you guys might be my only chance.