Hmm.  I've been managing my MDD pretty well (although not perfectly) this week.  I've started learning a new language, I've come out as an MDDer to my husband, and I'm trying to withdraw from my iPod (probably harder than admitting the MDD to my husband).  BUT.....I'm anxious as hell. 

I'm really tired, I'm irritated, I can't sleep properly, I'm comfort eating, I haven't worked out.  I always assumed the MDD served as something I did to protect and isolate myself when I felt…

This week I am trying to stay away from my iPod as this is the main trigger for my MDD.  So far, it's been difficult.  I have used it for around an hour each evening but have really reduced my MDD time. 

I feel sick when I don't MDD and I feel a little lost, and flat.  Thinking about my own life compared to the world I rule in MDD land is shocking because it is so dull.  When I look at myself and my life, I feel angry that I don't live up to some of my own expectations, and…

My iPod is the handiest tool for my MDD.  I use it for various things including:

• Researching characters I may be using, especially male love interests
• Look for clothes my character may be wearing to events
• Geography, my character is a world wide traveller!
• Music - I always have a soundtrack
• Videos - I use YouTube or other media for inspiration

Perhaps it's time to lend it to someone or lock it in my drawer at…

Like most people on the forum, I've only realised there was a name for what I did whilst researching the subject online.  I've had MDD since I was a tiny child, in fact I can't remember ever not doing this.  I also have Social Anxiety and Avoidant Personality Disorder.  I've had the last two disorders confirmed by mental health professionals, but I've never mentioned the DD to anyone, even my psychologist - I honestly just felt it was too embarrassing and 'crazy'. 

Although I…