So after much advice from several of you whom I talked to in chat recently. I managed to open up to my partner about playing DnD. He had to approach me first but I was able to open up. Now though I'm anxious and nearly on the verge of tears. He told me yesterday that i need to bring it up because he will forget to think about it and that because I had done so well cleaning the house up that I deserved it and he owed it to me. He said we would get to play tomorrow(which is tonight). But he…

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So I guess it would be proper to introduce myself as well as give a small amount of background information for any who are interested in learning a bit more about me. I am 23 and female. I have been living in fantasy worlds since about 10-11 years old. Though I do think it is a symptom of Dissociative Identity Disorder(for myself).  I am painfully shy, even over the internet right now(so feel free to approach me since it is very difficult for me to come to you first). I am joining this site…

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Go all the way back

To 97-98

Think of all the fun

We had as classmates

I couldn't stand you though

Just the look of your face

It said "I'm better than you"

All over the place

And then what happened was

We became best friends

And we would be inseparable

Till the very…

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Well, hello everyone on this site. I’m new here, and I would like to introduce myself. So, here it goes…



I want to start by saying I’ve been lurking around this site for several months now, without having the courage to make an account. My name is Elizabeth, also known as Lizzie or Liz, and I’m a seventeen-year-old high school/college student. I enjoy listening to power pop, drinking tea, writing in fancy journals, and daydreaming.



Oh, I love daydreaming. I often rush home…

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The darkness. That's all that I was aware of. Was darkness. My eyes were open, I know they were, but I didn't see anything. I even did that thing where you wave your hands in front of your face, hold them there for a second to try to see finger silhouettes. But nothing. I sat there, I don't know how long it had been. I decided to search. Groping around on the floor trying to figure out where I was. I came across a wall. It had a cloth over it. I pulled downward on it, but it didn't come off.…

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Has anyone ever woke up and wondered who the hell they are?

Lately I have been waking up everyday asking the same constant question through my head. When I was little I knew who I wanted to be and where I was going. Then I started losing the confident and bubbly personality slowly when I entered 6th grade. I regained some back when I met my ex best friends around December and January. Then we were all put on separate teams this year and we don't talk anymore. :/

However I still have… Continue

     "Dan, you are suffering; you do not fundamentally enjoy your life.  Your entertainments, your playful affairs, and even your gymnastics are temporary ways to distract you from your underlying sense of fear."

     "Wait a minute, Soc."  I was irritated.  "Are you saying that gymnastics and sex and movies are bad?"

     "Of course not.  But for you they're addictions, not enjoyments.  You use them to distract you from your chaotic inner life - the parade of regrets,…

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Tomorrow

Today was bad. And when I say bad, I mean bad. After a hard day at work and sitting at home and doing nothing but watch tv, I decided to go outside to run. I am trying to live a healthier life. Nothing wrong with that, but the problem was that I brought along with me my music. I tried to convince myself that it would not be a problem, but it ended up being a major problem. I fantasized about bang a track star; turning heads. Then I fantasized about me dancing with a guy I…

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So yea..... I've been reading through a lot of poetry from you, my fellow MDers. I haven't written anything in a long time but I went back and had a look at the stuff I used to write and thought I'd share the ones I like. So I guess I'll start posting some of my old poetry and miscellaneous writings with you all. ENJOY!

You Lie So Much, You Believe Yourself…

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I'm new here and I would like to make some friends. I just started researching MD because I wanted to know if other people had the same experiences as me and it is nice that there is a community out there for people like us! 

Ok, so I got huge spikes in my DD today while @ work. Mind you, I have a college degree and I am working as a cashier/food preparer. So that really gives me room for creativity (ideas for DD!). I'm grateful to God for my job, but God knows that I want a real job. So while I was working and doing the normal routine, (sweeping the floor, cleaning equipment, ect.) I imagined that I was making lots of…

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Well, I still have to say that I need work. My daydreaming is an ongoing thing that I have to use a lot of strength to fight. It’s hard for me because at the moment, I just go to work and go back home. I really don’t have that much going on right now, so I’m am desperately looking for something to interest me in the real world. It affects me when I am at work. I can still function, but I really appreciate NOT having this…

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In the past years I realized I had a problem, but in a subtle way, intangible, a thought that vanished when I tried to touch. The snow. A soap bubble. 

I realized the problem the day I come here, like 6 months ago.

I'm succesfull in managing the DD, althought some dark days…

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Sometimes I feel like the rest of the world is against me, and so I want to disappear. Am I just being paranoid? Probably. But it doesn't matter, because I still don't like the agony of wondering. I am so caught up in what people think of me...it's exhausting. I can never relax.

I've decided to move out into my own place. My own space would be nice. A place to call my own and not have to keep looking over my shoulder to see if what I'm doing is right, or ok.

This is why I…

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Hey there,

Sorry this is going to be a quick, random post. I just started seeing my university therapist and when I mentioned that I have sleep problems, she suggested I try Melatonin. I know that it's a naturally produced chemical in your body and that maybe sometimes our bodies just need an extra little boost to produce it, and I want to give it a try to regulate myself. My brother accidently got me the extra-strength 5mg ones, and I want to start off slow, does cutting them in half…

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