Solaina's Posts - Wild Minds network2024-03-29T13:53:27ZSolainahttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/SavanahRosehttps://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/3145238428?profile=RESIZE_48X48&width=48&height=48&crop=1%3A1https://wildminds.ning.com/profiles/blog/feed?user=2gdwl0qckslcl&xn_auth=noApologies and Questions and Other Thingstag:wildminds.ning.com,2013-03-02:4661400:BlogPost:1285082013-03-02T03:29:01.000ZSolainahttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/SavanahRose
Hello there. First of all, I would like to apologize for one of my dramatic blogs I posted a while ago. (Not sure why I'm apologizing since it's most likely forgotten. I suppose I'm ashamed of it.) Anyway. I have a few questions to ask about MD. #1: Do your daydreams ever connect to your dreams? Everytime I try to lucid dream, if I try to invite one of my DD characters I am either clicked into a dream, or the character tries to appear but ends up a black fuzzy figure...which is really freaking…
Hello there. First of all, I would like to apologize for one of my dramatic blogs I posted a while ago. (Not sure why I'm apologizing since it's most likely forgotten. I suppose I'm ashamed of it.) Anyway. I have a few questions to ask about MD. #1: Do your daydreams ever connect to your dreams? Everytime I try to lucid dream, if I try to invite one of my DD characters I am either clicked into a dream, or the character tries to appear but ends up a black fuzzy figure...which is really freaking weird. Having a few times actually 'summoning' a character resulted in them almost avoiding me the entire time. My most recent dream with one of them resulted in me finding them in a sort of looking house. When I asked "Why weren't you with me?" they responded with "...but I can see you perfectly fine from here." This brings me to question #2: Have you ever figured out anything about yourself from daydreaming? I've noticed that sometimes daydreaming can be a part of your subconscious. Pay attention to some of your daydreams ...you may be trying to tell yourself something. (However ridiculous that may sound.) #3: When do you (have you) or find yourself daydreaming? (Sorry, that may have sounded unclear. I don't know how to explain things.) I mean, why do you mainly daydream? Or...when I mean. In fear? In depression? Maybe when you're angry you use daydreaming to calm you down. Maybe to give you courage? I know the answer may most likely be all...but what is the situation that you daydream most during? (If that question made any sense at all.) I'm sorry if I misspelled anything. I am using a cellphone and the typing is really awkward... #4: Is there a limit to your daydreams? Does anything go, or do you have to make it realistic? #5 How much are you like your main character? Whether it's you or somebody else, are you really similar or not? #6: What genre are your usual daydreams? Horror? Romance? Comedy? Etc... Hmm... I suppose that's it. I'm not trying to be nosey or anything...I just like to ask questions. Hehehe.Negatives of Maladaptive Daydreaming. How it can tear you up inside out.tag:wildminds.ning.com,2012-12-09:4661400:BlogPost:1178372012-12-09T11:41:45.000ZSolainahttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/SavanahRose
<p>I really don't know what I'm typing this for. I don't know if it will help anyone to understand who doesn't have MD or maybe let someone else know they "aren't alone" in what I am about to explain. I highly doubt it will do either of those things but here it goes. I feel kind of stupid typing this because it almost seems like I'm trying to say "Hey! Look at me! Pay attention to what I have to say!". Anyway, here it goes. I realized I had a problem with daydreaming when I started to play as…</p>
<p>I really don't know what I'm typing this for. I don't know if it will help anyone to understand who doesn't have MD or maybe let someone else know they "aren't alone" in what I am about to explain. I highly doubt it will do either of those things but here it goes. I feel kind of stupid typing this because it almost seems like I'm trying to say "Hey! Look at me! Pay attention to what I have to say!". Anyway, here it goes. I realized I had a problem with daydreaming when I started to play as another character. I know a lot of you daydream as other characters, and there is nothing wrong with that at all. So then, "What's was wrong with that?" Once I snapped out of that certain character, I felt as if I was trying to be someone else. And because I wanted to be that person, I was so selfish to want to give up the perfectly okay life I had then. (Even though at the time looking back at it, things weren't really so great...) Now that I've been back daydreaming as "myself" for a few years, I have recently felt very selfish. I mean, how could "I" make up a world for myself? How could I be so shallow as to make a world revolved around me? I had always daydreamed as myself before I was in that "other-character phase" and saw nothing wrong with it. I've written stuff from my dreams out (and drawn pictures), and I'm horrified that if anyone finds them, they're going to think I'm self centered little...ahem BITCH. Anyway, another problem that I've had is that I've felt that the characters in my daydreams are too high of expectations of what I would want in the real world. All to the point I don't even want to socialize anymore because I have "what I want" on too high of a pedestal. Friends, boyfriends. I guess I feel that since I'll never get what I want, I should just stick to the ever-so-perfect people of my daydreams. Which is PROBABLY what I'm going to end up doing. Of course, since these people are so perfect, when I have these thoughts they always try to reassure me I'm wrong and blah blah blah. Alright, while I'm on the subject of characters, I may as well type about something I've read on here before. Even though I know and am sure that others of you have felt this way, it's still embarrassing as hell to say...I have one specific character I am attached to...and of course, my mind has tricked itself into believing that this imaginary person also feels very attached to me. (Very common, I know.) I have gotten upset that he is not real. Crying many times because I couldn't be with that person. After I would get done crying, I would beat myself up by telling myself how stupid I was to want to be with a character in my head. How <em>pathetic</em> it was. Every time I see a picture of someone that reminds me of him, or maybe a character from a TV show, I just can't look at it. It's not because I'm upset he isn't "here" with me. It's because I feel so ashamed that he is someone I created and someone I...love. I feel pathetic saying that too. I love a fictional character in my head and I would feel bad even looking at other guys because I feel as if I'm "cheating" on him. There. That there was just closure. I've come to terms with most of this stuff because I know it isn't my fault...at least, I've fooled myself into thinking I've come to terms with most of this stuff....but I really can't get over this character. I don't want to. I'll be happy if he just stays here in my head. This...is also a problem. I'm young yet, and I feel I can at least SLIGHTLY still get away with daydreaming so much. But you know, eventually I'm going to have to get into the "real" world. Responsibilities. I need to finish highschool, go to a college where I can learn to do what I want to do for a living...I'm clinging on to my daydreaming and this character for dear life. I want to get real friends and maybe a real boyfriend. I want to be responsible and do what I have to. All at the same time though, I don't want to. I want to live the way I am forever. Anyway, this is kind of....I don't know. I'm either trying to release a bunch of stuff or...? Well, this is kind of on a different note.</p>
<p>During my "other character" phase, I had tried getting a cousin of mine into daydreaming. At the time, I honestly didn't realize it was just me trying to project my daydreams into real life, but that's what it was. Then again, at that time I didn't even realize I was excessively daydreaming. I saw it as "playing pretend" even though it would really be daydreaming. My cousin and I called it a "game" we played. Our "game" was kind of just talking out what would happen. To be honest, I was kind of a corrupted child at the time. Part of our "game" was sexual even though I wasn't even sure what sex really was. That out of the way, we played this "game" all throughout my "character" phase. Then it started getting personal since the characters were now us. When I started being "me" again, I would somehow end up having the story revolve around me. It wasn't like that as much before, but then it was. Like I said, I was just "acting" out my daydreaming. Eventually, my cousin got tired of this "game" because well...she obviously wasn't an obsessive daydreamer like I was. After this, we've rarely spoken or really interacted much like we used to. I kind of felt as if by doing what I did I may have "traumatized" her. It's come to my understanding though that that shouldn't really be a problem since we were kids...I'm only really afraid of her telling one of our elders. If she does, I have a feeling my life will be ruined. Which is...really kind of a silly thing to think. (By saying things are silly, I'm kind of watering down how serious I've felt about this stuff...ugh.)</p>
<p>This is the last of what I'm going to say. I have felt "disgusting" and "insane" because of daydreaming. Not too much anymore, but I have. I've noticed that sometimes posts with the topic of "me" (not me literally, but others that write about themselves.) don't really get too payed attention to...so this will most likely be ignored. I guess <strong>maybe</strong> what I'm trying to do is just add some more knowledge to our little (as it seems) "database" here. (I mean it IS a database really. People here talking about their maladaptive daydreaming experiences and such.) I guess maybe I'm hoping this will "inform" someone in some way? I don't know. Sorry if this all looks like just a couple of walls of text. I'm kind of just venting I guess. Or maybe I'm just trying to figure out the bad things about this disorder and lay them all on the table. Sorry I really don't understand what I'm trying to do here. Sometimes my brain tells me to do things and then I figure out why I did them later. Anyway, that's it.</p>
<p>Bye.</p>...break?tag:wildminds.ning.com,2012-11-28:4661400:BlogPost:1152962012-11-28T23:15:04.000ZSolainahttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/SavanahRose
<p><span class="font-size-3">Hm...well...ever gone on a "break" with your daydreaming? If that would be a correct term for it anyway...I remember when I was younger my mind stopped daydreaming for about one or two months but of course that didn't last...I ended up back in the same pace of daydreaming after that. Thinking about it now though got me wandering if it ever happened to anyone else before. Have you ever had a period when your mind just went blank? Or well, stopped daydreaming? Even…</span></p>
<p><span class="font-size-3">Hm...well...ever gone on a "break" with your daydreaming? If that would be a correct term for it anyway...I remember when I was younger my mind stopped daydreaming for about one or two months but of course that didn't last...I ended up back in the same pace of daydreaming after that. Thinking about it now though got me wandering if it ever happened to anyone else before. Have you ever had a period when your mind just went blank? Or well, stopped daydreaming? Even for just a day, maybe a few hours? Just completely...stopped? I'm kind of referring to those "non-stop always DDing in the background" types of you...if that makes any sense that is. I know that usually I always have had a daydream going in the background whether I was really concentrating on it or not...so I guess that's what I mean? I'm sorry, I'm really not too good at explaining myself haha...I guess the question is: Have you ever just CLICKED out of daydreaming for no apparent reason for a certain period of time?</span></p>
<p><span class="font-size-3"> </span></p>
<p><span class="font-size-3">At least</span></p>
<p><span class="font-size-3">I think that's what I'm asking....</span></p>
<p><span class="font-size-3">Bleh<br/></span></p>
<p><span class="font-size-3"> </span></p>
<p><span class="font-size-3">Oh and er...I guess I might as well mention that recently I am able to break from my daydreaming for a....few minutes at a time. Yay! It's a start at least...eheheheh....<br/></span></p>Many versions of self?tag:wildminds.ning.com,2012-11-14:4661400:BlogPost:1072842012-11-14T14:30:19.000ZSolainahttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/SavanahRose
<p><span class="font-size-3">Alright, so...here's the deal. I know that there is the "idealized self" aspect to MD, but have you ever had...14 different versions of yourself? Kind of like you make characters, but well, with yourself I guess. The thing was, that the other versions of myself were never really...<em>created</em> by me<em>.</em> They kind of just...appeared. Although this is also how I get most of my characters...you know, they kind of just...appear. What different between the…</span></p>
<p><span class="font-size-3">Alright, so...here's the deal. I know that there is the "idealized self" aspect to MD, but have you ever had...14 different versions of yourself? Kind of like you make characters, but well, with yourself I guess. The thing was, that the other versions of myself were never really...<em>created</em> by me<em>.</em> They kind of just...appeared. Although this is also how I get most of my characters...you know, they kind of just...appear. What different between the character and the other "mes" is that if I tried to make a new "me", they wouldn't stick. The only thing that really bothers me is how the other versions of myself multiplied. It started off as 3...and then 1 more. And they just seemed to multiply in random. This recently stopped, but when it was over I realized they all represented an aspect of myself...I'm starting to wonder if some forms of MD are controlled by the subconscious.</span> They were all different, but they all looked like me. I honestly didn't realize the similarities (personality wise) of myself before I broke it down...but after I figured it out they stopped multiplying. I knew that daydreaming can be a form of self expression but...I didn't think it could be this literal. Hahahahaha...</p>