Ruthie
  • Female
  • Brighton, East Sussex
  • United Kingdom
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Ruthie's Friends

  • Kiruba Shankar Victor
  • Sakshee Dhumal

Ruthie's Discussions

Real Memories Masterpost!!

Started this discussion. Last reply by Sakshee Dhumal May 20. 4 Replies

When I'm low I cheer myself up with fake scenarios in my head, often without being conscious of doing it.Maybe I dream of people paying attention to me, listening to me, being affectionate, or going…Continue

Tags: #positivity, #MD, #memory, #real

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Latest Activity

Julia Harris liked Ruthie's blog post I'm struggling to process but happy to be here! (UK)
May 30
Sakshee Dhumal replied to Ruthie's discussion Real Memories Masterpost!!
"Those are some lovely memories : ) you made me smile. I wish I can also travel around more and create beautiful memories after this pandemic is over."
May 20
Valeria Franco replied to Ruthie's discussion Real Memories Masterpost!!
"How nice! My favorite happy memories are the ones that are not just happy, but that are... also sort of unique, or even odd. I think I have always wanted to live an intense life. So, I am always wondering "If I were to have a book or a film out…"
May 19
Ruthie's discussion was featured

Real Memories Masterpost!!

When I'm low I cheer myself up with fake scenarios in my head, often without being conscious of doing it.Maybe I dream of people paying attention to me, listening to me, being affectionate, or going on an adventure with my favourite characters. Yet I find having MD makes it harder to remember the good times.I wondered if you guys are willing to share your happy memories with me, and encourage some positive reinforcement of the good things that living in reality can bring.See More
May 19
Jessica Ballantyne commented on Ruthie's blog post I'm struggling to process but happy to be here! (UK)
"Everybody simply didn't find me an interactive and talkative person. Which in their mind wasn't normal. I didn't have a clue what was the matter. I just didn't want to talk much. People always thought I was either stupid, tired…"
May 17
Kiruba Shankar Victor replied to Ruthie's discussion Real Memories Masterpost!!
"My happy memories would be the times where I've played well in video games, hanging out with my friends while bunking classes and whenever anyone takes time to post birthday stories on their Instagram for me. That gets me really happy. If you…"
May 16
Kiruba Shankar Victor commented on Ruthie's blog post I'm struggling to process but happy to be here! (UK)
"Well, yeah, it keeps us trapped and not wanting to get out of it. I think at the center of it all, MD happens because of some unfulfilled need or the need for closure from a bad experience. Like for me, it was the need to be "cool" and…"
May 16
Sakshee Dhumal replied to Ruthie's discussion Real Memories Masterpost!!
"I'd say staying in the present moment or staying in reality itself makes me happy. All my life I've always envied people who did not have MD and could stay in the reality without making any efforts. And now that even I can stay in reality…"
May 16
Jessica Ballantyne commented on Ruthie's blog post I'm struggling to process but happy to be here! (UK)
"MD at first made me feel happy, but really, it turned my life upside down. I was mentally incapable of making good decisions, traveling places and maintaining positive relationships. MD actually swept me away from having it better, which is ironic.…"
May 16
Ruthie posted a discussion

Real Memories Masterpost!!

When I'm low I cheer myself up with fake scenarios in my head, often without being conscious of doing it.Maybe I dream of people paying attention to me, listening to me, being affectionate, or going on an adventure with my favourite characters. Yet I find having MD makes it harder to remember the good times.I wondered if you guys are willing to share your happy memories with me, and encourage some positive reinforcement of the good things that living in reality can bring.See More
May 16
Ruthie liked Romeofro's discussion Does Anyone Daydream about Negative Scenarios?
May 16
Ruthie liked Sakshee Dhumal's blog post The Root cause of MD
May 16
Ruthie joined Abby's group
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MD- poor performance in school?

All my life I have found school particularly challenging, just because it's so difficult to focus, and after a while I just kept getting discouraged.  However I'm still to pursuing  my education. I was just wondering if anyone else has experienced this?See More
May 16
Ruthie joined Angela's group
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LGBT MDDers

Because "the Gays just have to be everywhere" and "birds of a feather flock together" -  feel free to discuss, complain, gossip, rant about whatever you wantSee More
May 16
Ruthie liked Valeria Franco's blog post Wildminds is BACK
May 16
Ruthie liked Nathan's discussion Making a Documentary on MD?
May 15

Ruthie's Blog

I'm struggling to process but happy to be here! (UK)

Posted on May 12, 2021 at 4:30am 8 Comments

[Trigger warning: mentions sexual abuse].

Hello lovely people! It's so great to meet you all.

I found out I had MD last night, despite having it all my life. I had a very intense reaction as so many things made sense suddenly, but it is also validating because now I know for sure that I'm not making up any of my problems, going "crazy" etc. And I am so grateful to know that I am not alone anymore. 

But I am finding it very difficult dealing with the knowledge that MD is…

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