The thing about MaDD that is most troubling to me is the re-playing of events from my past with me coming out as the winner this time. It is humiliating to even think that I have such low self-esteem that I need to go over past abuses and it is more bad news that I cannot stop this re-hashing of the past and it is terrible that I act out the part where I strangle or kick the s.o.b.  Easy to say…