I live with someone who knows how much I'm not aware of my surrounding environment. She argues with me almost any morning of my impulsive and inconsiderate actions in the downstairs kitchen. She knows how often I live in a world elsewhere, and I won't get very far this way. She doesn't even trust leaving me alone in the house. If she doesn't, who would?

Anyway, I was making breakfast, and wanted to boil eggs in a small pot on the stove. When I got down to eating, I zoned out and chuckled at a private thought. But I was forgetting something—I didn't turn off the burner! Suddenly she started berating me and telling what-if stories if they weren't there. That I would set the house on fire, because I can't even remember to turn off a burner. For a moment I went red, and couldn't swallow my food. Does she always have to get unpleasant around breakfast time? 

Then I recall at work and school, people have noticed this about me and have made comments—for as long as I can remember—living in the same town. And I wonder if I gave them all vibes. 

I haven't been in the crowd for a while, and haven't worked onsite for 3 years, believe it or not, COVID. Point is I'm afraid when I get around to getting involved in social and work-related situations, I will be giving people signals. I don't want to embarrass myself and wind up hurt, or bewildered. 

I want to be a person who others can LIKE, not pick on because they found something evidently wrong with me. I want a positive life. I want to make friends—not doubts and loaded questions. I'm so fed up with being that weird-one that nobody is sure they want around. I want to be someone's friend. 

And I don't want to affliect someone with my wandering ways...