Hello people, how are you?
My name is Gabrielle and I'm 20 years old and today I finally decided to let it all out and tell my story.
Come on, my daydreams started when I was a child, imagining that I was dating the football player I liked, my favorite singer... and then I had imaginary boyfriends who changed according to my tastes. At school I had friends and I got along very well with them, but there were also those girls who were popular and I wanted to be like them, so when I got home I lost myself imagining what it would be like if I were popular like them and this remained permanent throughout throughout the school period: kindergarten, elementary school and high school. In the second and third year of high school I "lost" my friends because we were in different classes and they met other friends while I was left without any friends.
And it was at that moment that my daydreams became stronger. Throughout the pandemic I didn't leave the house, except to go to appointments. I was always shy, embarrassed, quiet and introverted and staying at home without having contact with anyone was like a dream for me. But this had consequences; When I went back to school I didn't know how to interact with anyone anymore, I didn't make any friends, and I hated it when the classroom was crowded, I just wanted to be alone. After I finished high school I didn't go to college or get a job because I was too busy fantasizing about things that would never happen. When I was 19 my mother got a job at a fair and on the one hand it was good because I interacted more with people and I became confident, on the other hand my bosses were blind until the day I couldn't stand it and left this job that was already making me feel good. bad. And during this period I also "got" a job as a nanny and it's not a job I like either since the children don't respect me and I don't know how to deal with children but at least I can deal with it.
Returning to the daydreams, they also got much worse after I discovered Wattpad and dark romance books. I don't need to say much about what happened, I kept fantasizing in the character's place, interacting with the characters, changing the story, inventing a new story with the same characters... and for me that was very real because I felt what the character felt, I was happy, I cried, I was angry.
And the consequence of all this is: nowadays I have a serious problem with procrastination, I can't finish anything I start, I can't concentrate and focus, my confidence and self-esteem are on the rocks, I can't talk to people, no I know what I want and I don't even know what I am, I have a job that I don't like, I live in a place that I don't like and for a long time I stopped dreaming and wanting things like having a better life. Lately I've been having problems with my stepfather and the good side of that is that I'm becoming more aware of reality, I'm a little more in the present and I'm dreaming more about studying, working and being independent.
But the problem is that my procrastination and daydreams get in the way of this, I become very inattentive.
I'm going to use this support group here to record my small progress against daydreams. And side note: I was both relieved and concerned to know that I'm not the only person who has trouble with maladaptive daydreaming.
Welcome!!! Your story appears to be as if you've been through a lot of hard times. I wish you the best of luck on the process to recovery. Also, bear in mind that you're not alone. I became addicted to MD due to immense social rejection in my school days. I turned my eyes off my reality and became someone who didn't get to live as a person since the age of 15. The worst part about my MD is that I turned away from my self as I hated that self of mine. The hatred was the consequence of the continuous social rejections. I was basically, "TOO MUCH". I don't have any friends other than 1 or 2 to whom I rarely speak. I have reduced my MD by realising it's a coping mechanism and have faced many repressed emotions coming to the fore. Things have certainly gotten better.
I wish you all the best on your journey and pray to the Almighty that you get be with yourself without resorting to any fantasy land.
SA
Welcome!!!
Your story appears to be as if you've been through a lot of hard times. I wish you the best of luck on the process to recovery.
Also, bear in mind that you're not alone.
I became addicted to MD due to immense social rejection in my school days. I turned my eyes off my reality and became someone who didn't get to live as a person since the age of 15. The worst part about my MD is that I turned away from my self as I hated that self of mine. The hatred was the consequence of the continuous social rejections. I was basically, "TOO MUCH". I don't have any friends other than 1 or 2 to whom I rarely speak. I have reduced my MD by realising it's a coping mechanism and have faced many repressed emotions coming to the fore. Things have certainly gotten better.
I wish you all the best on your journey and pray to the Almighty that you get be with yourself without resorting to any fantasy land.
Mar 16