utilizing daydreams for good?

by farrahfawn

Dec 23, 2023

Hi everyone; I've been an immersive daydreamer since I was a kid. I'd say it turned maladaptive when I developed social anxiety: I used it as a way to have a life (in my head), but over time realized that it was keeping me from having a real life & enabling/reinforcing my anxiety-driven habits. I wasn't fulfilling my goals, just daydreaming them. 

My daydreaming in the maladaptive way has gotten better with time. The fuller my real life has become, the less I have felt the need to daydream as a coping mechanism (not that this just happened on it's own without effort, but tldr). However, I made a decision along the way that I am wondering if anyone else has done, or if anyone has done something along the same lines: 

When I made peace with the fact that giving up immersive daydreaming was a battle I didn't want to fight (it feels like a core part of my identity), I decided I needed to find a way to incorporate it in my life in a positive way. I had always wanted to be more fit, & would try to run distance, but had trouble with motivation (jogging is boring by itself lol). 

I gave myself permission to daydream in the context of running. I blast my favorite movie soundtracks and whatever other music I'm feeling that fits the vibe of the daydream, and it turned running from the most dreaded task into something I genuinely look forward to at the end of the day. 

Not to say I never daydream in other settings, and that it is never, ever maladaptive (because lets be honest, it's easy to fall into), or even that I immediately fell in love with running; but it really has helped a lot. Having a healthy outlet has been a good way for me to separate it from the attention I need to be giving my own life; and I was also able to utilize it in fulfilling one of my goals. 

TLDR: I'm wondering if anyone else has found a way to incorporate their immersive daydreaming and utilize it so it's more "adaptive" than "maladaptive?" I guess I no longer see my immersive daydreaming as the enemy, although it once was something I was absolutely addicted to, taking over my life.  

Thoughts? 

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  • up

    The1andonlyAbber

    I like to think that I’ve made a similar shift recently. Something that’s helped is that I now think of my daydreams as a “tutorial level” or “mini game” for the real world, rather than an alternate place to live. I use daydreaming to have fun or brainstorm solutions to my real problems, instead of to try to forget my real life.

    3

    Feb 20

    • up

      AJW

      Hallo!
      Bei mir ist es ähnlich wie bei The1andonlyAbber. Ich kann meine MD nutzen um meine Ziele zu fokussieren. Somit habe ich immer neue Lösungsansätze für meinen Alltag und kann mich gut bei neuen Herausforderungen motivieren. Es nimmt nur überhand, wenn ich Stress oder Probleme habe.
      3

      Apr 15

      • up

        Julia

        I’ve started EMDR in my therapy. It’s a type of therapy that pinpoints and heals moments in your life where you were seriously traumatized. In preparation my therapist guides me to think of how I felt when these things happened, then how I wish I had felt, and then I make up new endings to the story. It’s a way to revisit real things that happened that still upset me, but have new feelings. There’s more to it than that, but this is the part I control with MD. Anyway, it’s been hard, but my MD has been extremely useful. I can create all kinds of amazing scenarios that I wish had happened instead. It really helps that everything feels so real. Anyway, just wanted to share the wealth.

        Apr 27