Wild Minds network
How Maladaptive Is It, Really?
Lifelong "Maladaptive Daydreamer" here. The whole nine yards; pacing while listening to music for hours and hours while creating extraordinarily complex fictional narratives and worlds in my head. Some of my "worlds" I have been curating for over a decade. But I have never felt that this "dissociative disorder" was pathological or disorderly. It has not remotely held me back in life. I graduated with a doctoral degree at the age of 23, was an internationally published researcher by 24, was financially set for life by 30 and I am doing quite well even now, many years later. I have had healthy, long-term relationships (current is 8 years), have maintained significant social connections and friendships and generally thrived throughout my life. This "Maladaptive Daydreaming" has served me exceedingly well as a safe and effective coping mechanism to alleviate the various stresses of our daily lives. It has kept me, in all likelihood, from developing the more harmful or addictive mechanisms that many other people fall into. I do find that my daydreaming get more frequent or compulsive during stretches of particularly stressful life events or prolonged isolation, so I have no qualms with admitting that it is probably a sort of defense mechanism at heart. But regardless, it has never seemed to be detrimental to me.
They say that "the first step to seeking help is admitting you have a problem" but I still am not convinced this is a problem that requires help. Medications like Fluvoxamine or Lithium have been shown to significantly reduce "Maladaptive Daydreaming" but they sound more like shackles than cures and I'm not sure I'd even want to face the vicissitudes of life without the safe spaces in my mind.
Does anyone else consider this "disorder" a net neutral if not beneficial part of their lives or am I merely rationalizing this to myself?
Letizia
I feel that my story is quite similar to yours. I do not think that MD actually keeps me from having a normal social life, indeed I go to parties and meet with my friends regularly. I have never really avoided going out just to stay home and daydream, except for the activities I don't really like. But I think that MD sometimes prevents me from studying as I should and from giving my best. Don't get me wrong, I went to one of the most difficult high schools of my area, took my bachelor degree and currently attending a master course. Nonetheless, I never get the best grades because I'm either obsessed with one subject and/or topic or I really don't like it, so I don't care enough to stop daydreaming to study for it. And I feel like my success in studying really depends on the professor, if I really like his/her classes I find it super easy to focus, otherwise I just daydream for hours till it ends. I think I got better now that I'm in a master program because I mostly took exams that I really like, but it was a huge problem in high school.
Feb 3, 2021
Theaxe
Hi NeverPresent,
Great topic, and one that I think many people who daydream need to know the difference between what is maladaptive or not.
According to Dr. Somer, he had posted a reply to this very question with the simple Tweet: "Immersive daydreaming is maladaptive only if it creates distress or dysfunction." (His profile is private, and you must get permission to follow, but for reference, he made this Tweet on December 11, 2018 at 10:20pm PST.
I think it's important to distinguish what the difference is before anyone begins to self-diagnose. There are people who are devastated with constant daydreaming, where the daydreaming has either taken over from real life living, or else it's caused difficulties within trying to live their lives. The daydreaming may cause loss of work, education, relationships, or even created situations where they put themselves in serious harm's way. Coupled with the feeling of distress, this is certainly maladaptive.
Immersive daydreaming, or daydream addiction can still allow individuals to function in society, and live relatively normal lives, holding down jobs, raising a family, and keeping friendships and relationships. They may not like the fact that they procrastinated when it came to getting that garage cleaned out because they preferred being alone and daydreaming, but that doesn't mean a task won't be complete or that they do this with every component of their life. They follow through with life, going to work, going to appointments, socializing, even if after they are finished with these things they may daydream for an extensive period of time afterwards. For those people, the daydreaming has become a bit more manageable, and for some, pleasant ways to pass the time.
There can still be bouts of "maladaptive" moments for immersive daydreamers. I for one can attest to this. I had points in my life when immersive became maladaptive, and back to immersive again. It was based on what sort of commitments I had going on in my life, and who was in my life, and what sort of jobs I had. If I found there was some solace in daydreaming, I took to it instead of dealing with life, and it therefore became maladaptive. Once making changes for the better, the daydreaming became immersive.
Feb 9, 2021
Will
Feb 20, 2021