Killing your main character?

Hi everyone. I'm new on here.
I've been dealing with mdd since I was about 5 but only just really found out that it's a 'real thing'. In my head I'm always someone else who is so much smarter, cooler, prettier and is always very loved. My dreams always focus on romance.
So I had a dream where I was a supercool teen girl who dated a real life rock star, then a movie character, then another real life rock star (who I was obsessed with in real life). This was from my early teens until a couple of years ago - I'm 30 now.
I got the chance in my real life to meet the rock star and was super scared of how I would react because sometimes I feel like the daydream is trying to break through into the front of my mind so I took action and killed my character. She (me) died and my daydreaming stopped for a couple of weeks.
Has anyone else done anything like this??

Now I have a new 'me' in daydreams and its pretty much ruining my life. I'm off work sick with stress and depression at the moment and I've spent three days lying on my bed literally just daydreaming. I know if I just kill another character in my head another will show up.
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  • up

    no thanks

    I’ve had this a few times. Sometimes, I get too carried away with my daydreaming, and the main character dies. I realize what I’ve done and restart the daydream, making it so I don’t die.
    • up

      Kristina Gasparian

      Killing characters only adds to your stress which makes MD worse. Instead imagine a slow, peaceful goodbye, let your character tell you wholesome, reassuring things before it leaves.

      • up

        Mary

        Ahaha, I have the power to simple save and restart.