Hi again :)
In the past week, I've been going overboard with MDing. I've been finding it enjoyable again, which I'm not very happy about. My feet are completely wrecked. Walking now is painful. The bruise on my foot has gone from red to complete black. I just spent an hour cutting out the dead skin and now there's patches of uneven and multi-coloured skin. The worst part is I'm going away in 2 weeks for a holiday to the beach with friends, and I feel so self-conscious and ashamed to go, since there's a 99% chance they're gonna see my feet. I have a massive exam tomorrow which I didn't study for because I was busy MDing. All I want is for the spinning aspect of MD to go away. I want to be content and feel whole without needing to do it. I want to be in control.
I'm gonna try not to do it for the next 2 weeks in preparation for my holiday and pray to god that my feet will look more normal by then. Wish me luck!
John Alves
You are worrying too much about avoiding daydreaming, I hope you don't feel guilty about doing it every now and then, even ordinary people have their daydreams every now and then, the difference is that they are not addicted to it like we are, we are in this together, we have a bond between us here, so try to pay attention to what the people around you are saying, it will give you a place to stay in the here and now, trust me, at some point, something one of them says will touch you and make you realize how much you want to be in the now, I hope I helped a little, God bless you.
Nov 27