Marriage/relationship

by F J

Apr 19

Hi everyone! I have a question for you guys in relationships and living with them - when you moved in together did you tell them about everything related to MDing? Or do you hide it from them, how does that work? Do you go to a quiet room and have daydreaming time? I'd love to get married one day but I struggle to imagine telling someone else about the daydreaming once we live together.

  • Jessica Ballantyne

    I've never been in a relationship or married. I could tell the person I used to be an MD'er, it started out when I was a kid, I but learned it was the wrong thing to do, so I stopped. Still, my mom knows all about it, and will probably tell my future partner, whichever way you put it. Then his parents will know about it too. I thought I could keep MD to myself...did not work out. 


    Apr 20

  • F J

    Oh that's interesting you told your family. I have only told one friend this year. And that's after about 10 years of knowing what this is and about 16 years of doing it. She's very non judgemental so it was easy to do. But I am so scared about telling a future partner because if they react inappropriately and not in an understanding way I feel like that will crush me. 

    Apr 20

  • AJW

    Hallo,
    Ich bin verheiratet und habe 1 Kind. Mein Mann weiß nichts davon und auch kein anderer. Ist auch besser so. Ich konnte MD gut in meinen Alltag integrieren und nutze jede freie Minute dafür... spazieren gehen, Sport, putzen...
    Es funktioniert so, man muss es dafür aber gut unter Kontrolle haben.

    Apr 20

  • Jessica Ballantyne

    How do you conceal MD so well? I just can't do that. I didn't tell my mom at all. She just sensed it, because I acted so stupidly one day, and it made her question. I've had all sorts of people read it off me, because my actions were absent minded. Ultimately, if or whenever I do have a partner, he's going to notice too, one way or the other. 

    Apr 21

  • AJW

    Ich denke es ist bei jedem anders ausgeprägt. Bei mir ist es nicht so das ich komplett in meinen Träumen versinke. Für verträumt halten mich bestimmt die meisten aus meinem Umfeld. Aber bemerkt hat es bisher niemand.

    Apr 21

  • Jessica Ballantyne

    I have a form of Asperger syndrome, and the way I act out, it appears like I'm not paying attention with no care, so it gives off a message to others that I'm wondering. It seems as if they can see right through me, and just know that I'm dreaming. Some people have the awareness set that I do this "always" after they learn for the first time. When I was young—I was naive. I never realized how transparent my situation was to others. That is why I stopped doing MD at a compulsive level. After I decided to quit, it began to wane down, so I have a clearer mind, can think and act better too. I haven't had people stop to remark on my daydreaming for years now! The older and more responsible you get, it eventually goes away anyhow. 

    Apr 21

  • Rachel

    I don't live with my boyfriend, but he does stay over at my place at times. He knows of it, but only in a vague sense. I've told him about it but haven't gone into detail. He does see me daydream, and my daydreams are usually accompanied by repetitive movements/stims, and he sees those, too. 

    It's not a big deal for us.

    Apr 21