Yes, you can cure Maladaptive Daydreaming - Wild Minds network2024-03-30T04:17:52Zhttps://wildminds.ning.com/forum/topics/yes-you-can-cure-yourself-from-maladaptive-daydreaming?commentId=4661400%3AComment%3A201359&feed=yes&xn_auth=noI'm really mad. I had faith…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2022-12-20:4661400:Comment:4264022022-12-20T15:16:30.517ZJessica Ballantynehttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/JessicaBallantyne492
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<p>I'm really mad. I had faith in what MD was telling me. MD is a guide, but for the most part, everything I believed my future will be was wrong. Eventually, I fell back into my true identity, facing a life that is way more realistic, though not flattering. I often wondered what happened there. Why none of my goals manifested. I can only think, I was too busy daydreaming to make anything work out. Another thing could be, MD was an escapism from the utter disappointment of…</p>
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<p>I'm really mad. I had faith in what MD was telling me. MD is a guide, but for the most part, everything I believed my future will be was wrong. Eventually, I fell back into my true identity, facing a life that is way more realistic, though not flattering. I often wondered what happened there. Why none of my goals manifested. I can only think, I was too busy daydreaming to make anything work out. Another thing could be, MD was an escapism from the utter disappointment of <span style="text-decoration: underline;">not</span> ever being a better me. I got so wrapped up in my own realm of fantasies, they blinded me from having a more perceptive glance towards the real existing world around me—and where my life was really heading. Paying no attention, I put me self into a predicament that I find very regrettable. If I wasn't going "la la la" over the years, I might've lived a better life and been in a much happier place today. It's like I foolishly shot myself in the foot without thinking. Maybe I was just so immature to realize what I was doing was significantly detrimental to life itself. Now I find myself in a difficult and sticky situation that I find very challenging to climb out of. Ultimately, I did stop doing MD, after learning what I've done, and blown away how damaging daydreaming can actually be. I still got my life ahead of me, but there is one barrier—my mom. Apparently, she still has me under her thumb, even though I'm a ripe age of 36. She doesn't believe I can achieve anything in the world, except for creative pursuits, like art and illustration. It's amazing how powerful a mother figure can be on all women, especially when they refuse to just let you be your own person. One things goes whoops with your health and they discover this, it's game over. They lose that trust in you. Life is full of ironies that never look exactly what you looked forward to. You feel so thrilled and encouraged at the things you can do up the road, but then something goes wrong along the way. Sooner than you know, everything just fucks up. Sad part is—it might've been an unhealthy habit you've started before, such as MDD. It's now on your records. Many will find out you had a mental addiction. </p> I must admit, I could've had…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2022-12-13:4661400:Comment:4261672022-12-13T14:20:56.824ZJessica Ballantynehttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/JessicaBallantyne492
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<p>I must admit, I could've had a better life if I didn't daydream. I was a young kid and I was messing around in my fantasy worlds, instead of focusing on what was truly going on around me. I feel embarrassed to even say this. I am 36 and jobless. I can only think I'm in my situation, because most times I've been living on another planet. So I probably deserve what I got. Despite MD made me feel glowing with happy feelings and duped me into thinking life will be good. Life wasn't so…</p>
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<p>I must admit, I could've had a better life if I didn't daydream. I was a young kid and I was messing around in my fantasy worlds, instead of focusing on what was truly going on around me. I feel embarrassed to even say this. I am 36 and jobless. I can only think I'm in my situation, because most times I've been living on another planet. So I probably deserve what I got. Despite MD made me feel glowing with happy feelings and duped me into thinking life will be good. Life wasn't so great, and I got into a lot of trouble. I honestly don't think anyone was aware of what I've been through—only the fact they noticed I wasn't with them (doing all sorts of weird things, such as laughing inappropriately and moving my eyes around the room). During my career, most times I worked remotely, so to make sure I didn't upset anyone, which was wise. My point was things didn't go exactly the way I would've expected. I was so busy with my head buried in my fantasies. I just didn't look more closely. When I look back now, the realization makes me shake with unease. For my family's sake, I decided to quit dreaming as best as I can. </p> Thank you for your blog posts…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2022-12-10:4661400:Comment:4263872022-12-10T22:51:43.998ZHappyBirdhttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/HappyBird
Thank you for your blog posts! I haven’t read them all through yet, and haven’t been able to process them all yet, but they’ve truly been helpful so far!
Thank you for your blog posts! I haven’t read them all through yet, and haven’t been able to process them all yet, but they’ve truly been helpful so far! "It's about you not wanting t…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2022-09-19:4661400:Comment:4247592022-09-19T19:18:03.378ZJullyanahttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/Jullyana
<pre class="tw-data-text tw-text-large tw-ta" id="tw-target-text" dir="ltr"><span class="Y2IQFc" lang="en" xml:lang="en">"It's about you not wanting to be you. Everything else is irrelevant." <br/>Yup. That's about it! MB is such a frustrating retreat from real life. <br/>It hurts to be just another irrelevant among billions of people in the world.<br/> I survive instead of living. Congratulations on the text!</span></pre>
<pre class="tw-data-text tw-text-large tw-ta" id="tw-target-text" dir="ltr"><span class="Y2IQFc" lang="en" xml:lang="en">"It's about you not wanting to be you. Everything else is irrelevant." <br/>Yup. That's about it! MB is such a frustrating retreat from real life. <br/>It hurts to be just another irrelevant among billions of people in the world.<br/> I survive instead of living. Congratulations on the text!</span></pre> Yes! It will go away. You wil…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2022-07-03:4661400:Comment:4242552022-07-03T19:29:22.323ZKalliopehttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/KalliopeTuta
<p>Yes! It will go away. You will see that you will have many blockades and resistances that will hinder you in what you need to do to get rid of MD. For example, I've been on a path to reducing procrastination ... and trying to reduce it is much more difficult for me than for MD because that's the underlying issue. I'm still fighting to reduce procrastination, even though MD got exchanged with games and books.</p>
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<p>Yes! It will go away. You will see that you will have many blockades and resistances that will hinder you in what you need to do to get rid of MD. For example, I've been on a path to reducing procrastination ... and trying to reduce it is much more difficult for me than for MD because that's the underlying issue. I'm still fighting to reduce procrastination, even though MD got exchanged with games and books.</p>
<p></p> Hello,
My MD is always trigge…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2022-07-02:4661400:Comment:4242542022-07-02T19:20:37.272Zkirtihttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/kirti
Hello,<br />
My MD is always triggered whenever I have crush on someone.And it goes longer then.i cannot stop it. Even if I understand the reality then also I can't leave the urge to daydream. It very much affects the routine life.<br />
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One more thing I daydream about the things that I don't like even in real life also. Like I think I want it but it is just a sweet fantasy my mind is creating. So healing the self is only solution here ?<br />
<br />
Like I need to be some expressive towards outer world so this…
Hello,<br />
My MD is always triggered whenever I have crush on someone.And it goes longer then.i cannot stop it. Even if I understand the reality then also I can't leave the urge to daydream. It very much affects the routine life.<br />
<br />
One more thing I daydream about the things that I don't like even in real life also. Like I think I want it but it is just a sweet fantasy my mind is creating. So healing the self is only solution here ?<br />
<br />
Like I need to be some expressive towards outer world so this things will go away? Dear Pause, Replay,
I'll do m…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2021-06-09:4661400:Comment:4142032021-06-09T15:22:43.136ZValeria Francohttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/valeria_franco
<p>Dear Pause, Replay,</p>
<p>I'll do my best to keep it open.</p>
<p>This website is alive because all of us are here, sharing and supporting each other.</p>
<p>Do believe.</p>
<p>A big hug!</p>
<p>Valeria</p>
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<p>Dear Pause, Replay,</p>
<p>I'll do my best to keep it open.</p>
<p>This website is alive because all of us are here, sharing and supporting each other.</p>
<p>Do believe.</p>
<p>A big hug!</p>
<p>Valeria</p>
<p></p> Please don't ever take your s…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2021-05-27:4661400:Comment:4137272021-05-27T20:43:45.186ZPause, Replayhttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/PauseReplay
Please don't ever take your site down. One day I may be ready to follow your advice. Its the best thing I've ever seen on the subject and just reading a small part of the articles makes me believe there might be life 'out there'.
Please don't ever take your site down. One day I may be ready to follow your advice. Its the best thing I've ever seen on the subject and just reading a small part of the articles makes me believe there might be life 'out there'. I completely agree with your…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2021-03-08:4661400:Comment:4116162021-03-08T15:50:36.662ZSakshee Dhumalhttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/SaksheeDhumal
<p>I completely agree with your point that even if your imaginary friend comes to life you wont be happy. Some people think that the only solution to maladaptive daydreaming is to make those daydreams come true , convert them into reality, make their real world so perfect that there won't be any need to daydream. But that's not true. Because MD is not like normal dreams, you wont get happiness by fulfilling them.</p>
<p>Simplest way to describe MD is 'Self Hatred' or ' Low Self Esteem' or …</p>
<p>I completely agree with your point that even if your imaginary friend comes to life you wont be happy. Some people think that the only solution to maladaptive daydreaming is to make those daydreams come true , convert them into reality, make their real world so perfect that there won't be any need to daydream. But that's not true. Because MD is not like normal dreams, you wont get happiness by fulfilling them.</p>
<p>Simplest way to describe MD is 'Self Hatred' or ' Low Self Esteem' or ' Looking Down On Oneself '.</p>
<p>I had never thought of it this way before. I always thought that I just want some excitement in my life, that I don't necessarily hate myself. But one time in one of our sessions, my therapist asked me to write answers to a few questions :</p>
<p>1) Who am I ?</p>
<p>2) Who do I belong to ?</p>
<p>3) Where do I live ?</p>
<p>4) What do I want ?</p>
<p>you will notice there is an ' I ' in every question.</p>
<p>So I started to ans them and got stuck at the very 1st one . No matter how hard I thought I just could not properly describe myself . Who am I ? sounds like an easy question . But Maladaptive Daydreamers do something called dissociation (<b>Dissociation</b><span> is a mental process where a person disconnects from their thoughts, feelings, memories or sense of identity). And according to me not having an ans to this question is the root cause of MD</span></p>
<p>For the 2nd one I easily said 'myself' .</p>
<p>For 3rd question I could not decide what to write, my real house or the imaginary villa I created in my mind (and mentally spent most of my time in ). This is what being split between two worlds is like . You get so emerged in your daydreams that your imaginary house/family/lifestyle are more close to your heart than the real ones. </p>
<p>For the 4th one I answered 'perfection' because I always saw others doing their homework on time, getting good grades, being organized, and most importantly being in the present. I wanted to be like them. My mind raised every person in my life on a high podium and myself beneath them. </p>
<p>That day I realised my actual problem. </p>
<p>Question 1 told me that I am not spending enough time with my real self. I am ignoring my real self to be with the glorified and perfect version of myself. This is such a big injustice with my real self and to compensate for my mistakes I am trying to keep my mind in the present moment with my real self and push my imaginary version far far away.</p>
<p>Question 2 told me that when you take ownership of something, you also have to take the responsibilities of that thing. The moment you say ' I belong to myself', you become responsible for loving and taking care of yourself. You have no right to hurt your feelings or mistreat yourself. </p>
<p>Question 3 made me realise how serious this problem has become. I'd rather stay with my imaginary family and friends in my imaginary house than my real family. This is my biggest mistake. I never appreciated what was in front of me and always chased after a mirage, those fake people who never existed. IMPORTANT POINT : The things which you desire for may not actually be that good or necessary . We keep thinking that once we get this 'Thing' that we want, our life will be set. This 'Thing' may be money , lover , friends , fame , or even superpowers . And we keep dreaming that we are going to get them in the near future. But there is a strong possibility that this so called beautiful future maybe 'garbage' and what we have in our lives right now may be beautiful flowers. Always remember, garbage can only stink, flowers give the real fragrance.</p>
<p>Question 4 is most important, All the daydreams i have ever had were circling around others. I craved others' recognition, others' appreciation, I wanted others to think grate of me. There opinions were most important for me. everybody else seemed to have atleast 1 good quality only I was useless. Low self esteem , comparison with other , not being able to see the good in your self , and unnecessarily saying hurtful things to our self makes us have zero self satisfaction and hence escape to world in which we are perfect. Instead we should understand we are perfect the way we are. And please note I am not telling you to hate others or be overconfident about yourself just accept yourself the way you are. </p>
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<p></p> Hi, am so glad I found this f…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2020-03-04:4661400:Comment:3499482020-03-04T18:01:05.945ZStaceyhttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/Stacey394
Hi, am so glad I found this forum, for years I've just thought I was the only one and I was mental or something its noce to know it's not just me<br />
Since I was little I remember doing md I must of been about 6 or 7 when I started and now in my 40s am still at it and only now am I being to realise how much it effected my life I've missed out on so much just so I could day dream which makes me sad so because am sad I find myself using md to make me feel better it's how I cope with life.<br />
For the…
Hi, am so glad I found this forum, for years I've just thought I was the only one and I was mental or something its noce to know it's not just me<br />
Since I was little I remember doing md I must of been about 6 or 7 when I started and now in my 40s am still at it and only now am I being to realise how much it effected my life I've missed out on so much just so I could day dream which makes me sad so because am sad I find myself using md to make me feel better it's how I cope with life.<br />
For the past year ive been trying to get my life back which is hard<br />
I stared to make my self busy all the time now so am working more but soon as night comes I go back to md but then it makes me even more depressed when I have to stop because soon as I stop and come back to my real life I realise that I would rather be in my own world and not this real one. I hate my real life working a dead end job no friends or family always struggling to pay Bill's and being lonely I hate the way I look the way I feel about myself but in my md world I dont have this I think that's why I've spend so long living there it helps me get thought life and makes me feel better about me/life but then it's time to come back to reality and the depression hits me again because I know am nothing like me in my md world it's a vicious circle<br />
The thought of trying to give it up scares/upsets me because I would miss my md world me and the "people" in it but I know I have to stop because am missing out on real life.<br />
Sorry for going on a bit has anyone got any advice on how to stop this md and not feel so depressed when I do<br />
Thanks x