Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest
I'm just seeing this quite unclearly so it is not easy to explain.
I have tried to stop daydreaming for years. Learned a lot about myself. That daydream is a way to keep a part of me who do not menage to live out in the real world. Then I began to think:
There is two part in may let us call them the daydreamer (DD) and the good girl (GG). I split early in childhood, (not buy a single event I never been abused). GG learned to be the one other people wanted her to be. But was unable to be spontaneous or creative. DD was the one I really wanted to be. DD made her own word so nobody could come and tell her who she was.
To say it simple I have tried for years to learn GG to be creative, spontaneous and take control. So I can kill DD. Then I just think I have to put it the other way round. I do not need GG to be accepted or liked. And if I do I don't care. Several of my daydream characters have been choosing to do what other said was impossible or what they had learned they should not do.
So DD has to take control and kill GG. What does it mean in real word? The first I can think of is "what would xx do?" putting the name of one of my DD characters for xx. I have several, one for each situation I guess.
I feel the same too. Not sure what to do. I don't think I can ever become my DD characters because they live in a totally different world with different rules so their behaviors and attitudes are different. Plus I made them so "perfect" (not entirely though) that it's hard or impossible to live up to their standards.
My daydreams are in a totaly fantasy word now (I used to have realistic DD before).
But I just began to think about two characters in a DD, not even main characters. Two brothers who end opp at killing each other. Thibaud, the good one killed Jackob, but he didn't wanted to. Jackob asked for a duel because he thought he was better to fight. Jackob was not realy bad he just been learn to be a warior since he was a child. Thibaud was rise the same way but he just didn't like it, he was a kind of geek. So Jackob was the one who was socialy addapted in his word and Thibaut wanted his word to change. What made Jackob to hate Thibaud was that Thibaud was the first born so he had power.
When I think about Jackob and Thibaud beeing to part of me so Jackob is the good girl, Thibaud the daydreamer. And at the end of the day I may have to accept there is not place to both.
Look out GG; DD is plotting to kill you!