Share your story! - Wild Minds network2024-03-29T06:36:53Zhttps://wildminds.ning.com/forum/topics/share-your-story-2?commentId=4661400%3AComment%3A357164&xg_source=activity&feed=yes&xn_auth=noIt's funny, I had a very sof…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2020-09-17:4661400:Comment:3571642020-09-17T22:42:56.120ZJessica Ballantynehttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/JessicaBallantyne492
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<p>It's funny, I had a very soft life in the beginning. Everything was warm and relaxing, and my state of mind was content. I went to private school and got treated lots by my parents. So I was always convinced that I'll have a normal and happy future. However, my life wasn't perfect all the same. I got bullied relentlessly in school—the kids thought I was stupid for some reason. I was a person of few words and still am today. Like I didn't talk that much, or hardly ever. I was the type…</p>
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<p>It's funny, I had a very soft life in the beginning. Everything was warm and relaxing, and my state of mind was content. I went to private school and got treated lots by my parents. So I was always convinced that I'll have a normal and happy future. However, my life wasn't perfect all the same. I got bullied relentlessly in school—the kids thought I was stupid for some reason. I was a person of few words and still am today. Like I didn't talk that much, or hardly ever. I was the type that preferred to think my own thoughts in my head, as any introvert. Whereas everybody else was super outgoing and very talkative. They must have got me all wrong, because the very impression I gave them was that I was dumb and unfriendly. Basically, all through grade school other kids ranted and raved about the fact I just didn't TALK. It was so embarrassing in a very penetrating and overbearing way. I didn't stop to realize that my adulthood will not look any better, so I just fluffed it off and thought these kids were being a bunch of brats. <br/><br/>At age 12, something changed me forever. My daydreams turned into MD and I got hooked, which was a fucking bad idea. It made me feel so happy to be in these fictional worlds, when really, I was stepping into something dangerous. MD only made my social interaction skills only worse, and I went extremely quiet in high school, not caring to realize it wasn't normal. I made very few, few friends and eventually got ostracized in school for my abhorred behaviour. They all noticed my inappropriate giggles, talking and faces—and looked me like I was a crazy girl. I was so glad to graduate from high school and leave. Teenage boys were constantly stalking me in the hallways yammering my full-time pitch loud. I didn't have any boyfriends.<br/><br/>At 18 I was so thrilled to head to art & design school and learn to be a fine artist. I was excited to conglomerate with artists who'd be more like me. Regardless, I was the same shy and quiet person when I attended events and took my courses, so I still found it hard to make friends. My social interaction skills were just not there. College students have commented as to why I'd sit there all by myself, instead of joining in on social groups. I found myself often eating in the cafeteria, working on projects and looking at exhibition displays on my own terms. So my maladaptive daydreaming was growing on me, putting me into a big swirling daze. I found it hard to push myself to attend parties and hang out with students more, and I often went straight back home by train. I guess that I was just socially awkward that way. <br/><br/>I had jobs to get me through college, usually as a fast food server, but I went into a state of depression. Other co-workers were far more outgoing than me and they all had relationships. So the staff and customers started to laugh and shout at me to put a smile on my face. The managers were total assholes around me, so I decided to quit and not come back, ever. <br/><br/>I finally earned my degree, hoping to thrive in a creative career. However, in the real world it was very hard to succeed in a graphic design job. You had to nearly be a IT member or a Japanese computer whiz with great keyboard shortcuts skills. I wasn't very fast and professional as I hoped, and felt I picked the wrong business. I had a line of short-term and long-term jobs that did not work out. <br/><br/>Overall, the real world wasn't a nice place for me to be in, after all. A number of people (customers, clients, supervisors) were snooty and mean to me. I had to endure their smart remarks and tempers. Nonetheless, they have encountered my daydreaming ways and didn't take it pleasantly. I found it extremely difficult to form friendships and relationships, due to the fact I was so very quiet and timid. Yes. I attended clubs, dances, lounges and conventions—each and every time a smart-ass would comment on the way I looked and sounded. My social awkwardness didn't disappear and to this day I just have myself. </p>
<p><br/>Then just this summer, dad explained to me how people feel about my social performance, and it stung, as I have so much work to do. I spent years walking and going about in a daydream state, only to find out nothing came true—because I had to work hard for it all along—not drift around all day. And I honestly don't find that very funny. It burns. <br/><br/>Above all, I have to rethink my life direction, as I feel I didn't make very good decisions, under the influence of MD. Doing MD for years effected my head health, my social life and my mind. If I hadn't started MD, I might've been OK today. I would've been happier and better off, and may've had a partner. So ultimately, my adulthood so far hasn't turned out normal and happy as I expected. I hope it's not too late to turn this all around, and transform into a better person that anyone could love. </p>
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<p></p> I don't lack sleep, I'm good…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2020-09-15:4661400:Comment:3570772020-09-15T18:09:02.177ZJessica Ballantynehttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/JessicaBallantyne492
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<p>I don't lack sleep, I'm good at dosing off. But yes, I do lack interaction with people and other stuff. I am going to see my doctor anyway, since I set an appointment. </p>
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<p>I don't lack sleep, I'm good at dosing off. But yes, I do lack interaction with people and other stuff. I am going to see my doctor anyway, since I set an appointment. </p> If MD is affecting your head…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2020-09-15:4661400:Comment:3570762020-09-15T17:59:26.932ZVaraahttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/Varaa
<p><br></br> If MD is affecting your head physically I think you should consult a doctor, it could be due to something else. The main problem with MD that I know is only that you waste a hell lot of time, which in turn leads to other issues like lack of sleep, lack of interaction with people etc.<br></br> <cite>Jessica Ballantyne said:…</cite></p>
<p><br/> If MD is affecting your head physically I think you should consult a doctor, it could be due to something else. The main problem with MD that I know is only that you waste a hell lot of time, which in turn leads to other issues like lack of sleep, lack of interaction with people etc.<br/> <cite>Jessica Ballantyne said:</cite></p>
<blockquote cite="https://wildminds.ning.com/forum/topics/share-your-story-2?xg_source=msg_com_forum&xg_raw_resources=1&id=4661400%3ATopic%3A356694&page=2#4661400Comment356989"><div><div class="xg_user_generated"><p></p>
<p>I used to MD so often, and now my head hurts, so can't do it. Has MD physically impacted anyone's head?</p>
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</blockquote> What are you currently doing…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2020-09-15:4661400:Comment:3570752020-09-15T17:50:51.876ZJessica Ballantynehttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/JessicaBallantyne492
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<p>What are you currently doing with your life? What made you start MD? </p>
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<p>What are you currently doing with your life? What made you start MD? </p> I have been daydreaming since…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2020-09-15:4661400:Comment:3570742020-09-15T17:46:56.142ZVaraahttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/Varaa
<blockquote cite="https://wildminds.ning.com/forum/topics/share-your-story-2?xg_source=msg_com_forum&xg_raw_resources=1&id=4661400%3ATopic%3A356694&page=2#4661400Comment356989"><div class="xg_user_generated"><p>I have been daydreaming since ever and MDing since I was 15. All these years I couldn't stop MD just by deciding to quit MD even though I tried so many times.</p>
<p>And I feel that DD turns into MD when you start holding a constant plot (although it gradually changes with…</p>
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<blockquote cite="https://wildminds.ning.com/forum/topics/share-your-story-2?xg_source=msg_com_forum&xg_raw_resources=1&id=4661400%3ATopic%3A356694&page=2#4661400Comment356989"><div class="xg_user_generated"><p>I have been daydreaming since ever and MDing since I was 15. All these years I couldn't stop MD just by deciding to quit MD even though I tried so many times.</p>
<p>And I feel that DD turns into MD when you start holding a constant plot (although it gradually changes with time ) instead of having short bursts of mental emotional expression, because then it becomes your favorite soap opera, accessible at all times.</p>
<p>I also used to feel that if I am this successful despite MDing half of the time, how much more could I have achieved if this MD compulsion were absent. Yet, here I am, free from MD for around 2 years now but not seeing many profits of absence/lack of MD. I have come to think that, like drugs, MD actually makes you perform better. So, in my opinion, balanced DD is the best. And depression is not caused by MD as I can tell you- even after MD goes, depression remains if it was there already. In fact MD is a pain killer for that depression.</p>
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</blockquote> I used to MD so often, and n…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2020-09-13:4661400:Comment:3569892020-09-13T20:37:36.756ZJessica Ballantynehttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/JessicaBallantyne492
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<p>I used to MD so often, and now my head hurts, so can't do it. Has MD physically impacted anyone's head?</p>
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<p>I used to MD so often, and now my head hurts, so can't do it. Has MD physically impacted anyone's head?</p> It's not that I can help it…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2020-09-11:4661400:Comment:3570232020-09-11T20:54:43.074ZJessica Ballantynehttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/JessicaBallantyne492
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<p>It's not that I can help it much. I have that kind of a head--if I do MDD--my mind loses concentration. My head used to feel like it went into a thick sleepy state if I got into it deep enough. I think my version of MD was prompted more by haunting emotions, since I am in fine arts and I tend to romanticize things about life. Like my MD tends to look something out of a mythical painting in a gallery or a gothic poem or book. <br></br><br></br>Whereas you guys run MD like it's a comic book or…</p>
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<p>It's not that I can help it much. I have that kind of a head--if I do MDD--my mind loses concentration. My head used to feel like it went into a thick sleepy state if I got into it deep enough. I think my version of MD was prompted more by haunting emotions, since I am in fine arts and I tend to romanticize things about life. Like my MD tends to look something out of a mythical painting in a gallery or a gothic poem or book. <br/><br/>Whereas you guys run MD like it's a comic book or a storyboard narration with many characters, while your somehow still successful in your career. I guess it really depends on how a person balances their real life agenda with their alternative life and how MD effects the activity of your head. <br/><br/>What baffles me is how you guys do so well. Often when you do MD, you can't seem to listen and absorb what other are saying, or you tend to go quiet. You tend not to pay attention. People have always noticed when I was doing it. It was all in my eyes. <br/><br/>Interestingly enough, I never knew there are people in the space industry and medical practice that actually do this stuff. I always pictured, only fine artists and writers ever do that. I guess I'm wrong. </p>
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<p></p> I am 63, married, and retired…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2020-09-11:4661400:Comment:3569522020-09-11T20:36:46.412ZPaul Rapphttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/PaulRapp
<p>I am 63, married, and retired from a fairly successful career mostly in the space industry. I have been doing MDD since probably as early as age 4, so that's almost 60 years of it. Over all of those years I have had many different and varied story lines. Some of them have developed over decades while other are short little threads that exist independently. Some of them have included celebrities but they were never main characters in my story lines and most of those were in my teen and young…</p>
<p>I am 63, married, and retired from a fairly successful career mostly in the space industry. I have been doing MDD since probably as early as age 4, so that's almost 60 years of it. Over all of those years I have had many different and varied story lines. Some of them have developed over decades while other are short little threads that exist independently. Some of them have included celebrities but they were never main characters in my story lines and most of those were in my teen and young adult years. They were not usually major, A list type celebrities. My fantasy romantic partners were usually based on real-people that I knew and had real-life romantic crushes on. There themes were most commonly science-fiction, fantasy or horror based stories. Others paralleled real-life events. I think if I had spent less time immersed in artificial worlds of my own creation and having imaginary relationships with imaginary people I might have been more successful in my real-life, but despite that I did have a successful life and now have a comfortable retirement. MDD doesn't have to destroy your life. It is something that you can live with.</p>
<p></p> That's beautiful. I wish you…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2020-09-11:4661400:Comment:3569492020-09-11T19:18:08.607ZJessicahttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/Jessica351
That's beautiful. I wish you all the best of luck with that. I'm sure that your real self is just as magical as anything you could imagine :)
That's beautiful. I wish you all the best of luck with that. I'm sure that your real self is just as magical as anything you could imagine :) Thanks for this advice. Thou…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2020-09-11:4661400:Comment:3569462020-09-11T15:33:41.658ZJessica Ballantynehttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/JessicaBallantyne492
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<p>Thanks for this advice. Though I have decided to quit MD completely. When it comes to my head, I have no power to live alternative lives, as I used to. My health needs much improvement and I need to focus on my real self. </p>
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<p>Thanks for this advice. Though I have decided to quit MD completely. When it comes to my head, I have no power to live alternative lives, as I used to. My health needs much improvement and I need to focus on my real self. </p>