Wild Minds Network

Where wild minds come to rest

Ok this is probably going to get sad, just a warning.
I've been md-ing for years with several reoccurring characters and they all have complex realistic personalities (y'know, real people have many traits and I think my "characters" reflect that) I don't have any personality disorders, but I do have manic depression/bipolar and anxiety. My characters, whilst being complicated, are always themselves and sometimes it feels like they're more real than I am. As I said before, I have no personality disorders or anything, but sometimes it feels like they're alive and I'm hardly here. Like they're more real than I am

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Whether I'm stirring around the house or walking to the closest convenient store, my very own characters come to life and I feel as if they're so real that it seems like they exist. It's not like I forget about myself, that I don't exist. I know that I'm here, but it feels like a real person is walking with me and listening to my conversations. Suddenly, I'll stop and swiftly turn my head to discover that nobody was with me the whole time. I am just talking to myself! Sometimes, I'll be carrying on a conversation out loud to these people all day long. I live with my family and they are disturbed by my behavior. "Who?! Whose there?!, my mom plead in a question.

My characters do reflect on traits of real people I've met or seen on screen. They suddenly enter my life and become my friends, sometimes I'll even start developing relationships with them. It's not like I have much of a choice. I am very isolated and lonely in life. I don't have bipolar/anxiety/depression, but I feel so very lost inside myself, like I have no idea who I am. So, most times I feel frustrated, scared and very uncertain of myself.

I day dreamed heavily since I was 12. At first I found it awesome, well, I was a young kid with a healthy brain. I had no idea MDD would eventually put a huge impact on my health when I get older, and cause me to miss out on a better existence. Whenever I step out into society, everybody just looks at me like I'm so very weird, because I lived in my head for so long and don't ever socialize. So, I honestly don't know how to behave right in front of people, due to Md-ing for decades. I was so very complacent and ignorant when I was growing up, that I actually didn't believe I'd have any issues in the future.

Wow.
Would you quit if you could? Or do you feel like the MD is enough to keep your life satisfied?

MD is not going to keep my life satisfied, so I really have to quit. I stopped doing it so much since 29, so since then, it gradually started to slow down. My head is definitely clearing up and I can listen better, but I'm still extremely quiet. I am embracing reality a lot more these days.


I don't think I would. I see people on here talking about it interfering with their lives too much that they have to stop, and I can understand that but it doesn't interfere with me that badly and id be lonely without it. it helps with my anxiety too
Filly said:

Wow.
Would you quit if you could? Or do you feel like the MD is enough to keep your life satisfied?


thanks for sharing that :) I think I just often feel confused about myself, but not in an identity way, and my characters are aways so sure of who they are, cause ive designed their personalities so intricately - when comparing myself to them anyone would assume theyre the real one and im the imaginary one with no real "meaning" of what its like to be real
Silver Swan said:.

Whether I'm stirring around the house or walking to the closest convenient store, my very own characters come to life and I feel as if they're so real that it seems like they exist. It's not like I forget about myself, that I don't exist. I know that I'm here, but it feels like a real person is walking with me and listening to my conversations. Suddenly, I'll stop and swiftly turn my head to discover that nobody was with me the whole time. I am just talking to myself! Sometimes, I'll be carrying on a conversation out loud to these people all day long. I live with my family and they are disturbed by my behavior. "Who?! Whose there?!, my mom plead in a question.

My characters do reflect on traits of real people I've met or seen on screen. They suddenly enter my life and become my friends, sometimes I'll even start developing relationships with them. It's not like I have much of a choice. I am very isolated and lonely in life. I don't have bipolar/anxiety/depression, but I feel so very lost inside myself, like I have no idea who I am. So, most times I feel frustrated, scared and very uncertain of myself.

I day dreamed heavily since I was 12. At first I found it awesome, well, I was a young kid with a healthy brain. I had no idea MDD would eventually put a huge impact on my health when I get older, and cause me to miss out on a better existence. Whenever I step out into society, everybody just looks at me like I'm so very weird, because I lived in my head for so long and don't ever socialize. So, I honestly don't know how to behave right in front of people, due to Md-ing for decades. I was so very complacent and ignorant when I was growing up, that I actually didn't believe I'd have any issues in the future.

It seems if you could write a screen play it would be creative. What do the characters do?
Are they female and male?
What age?

My MD buddy won't share that much but i get the feeling he almost has two personalities. Im notcsure if that's a different disorder.
He says he can't make the voices stop and when doing repetative things such as biking he is jibber jabbering away to himself, facial movements etc
With me he concentrates and is fully alert, engaged and sometimes will whisper under his breath.

I tell him about others with MD and he just listens
His job is solitary but he is functioning having had it for 10 years. We text everyday.
I am not sure what would be helpful to him?
Any ideas?

Where is the warning, if you don't mind my asking? Maybe I just missed the point, but is seems to me like you left that part out. What are you trying to warn us about?

I feel the same way. Sometimes I don’t feel like reality is actually reality. Sometimes I just don’t feel real. And sometimes I get them confused

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