Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest
Hello, I am new here and very lucky to find like minded people who live in their heads all the time like me :)
Just today I found out this was a problem after losing myself this year and feeling pretty numb as a result. I was born on the Caribbean but my whole family is from Canary Islands, Spain. I never identified with the extroverted party type person that typically lives on the Caribbean. I'm rather quiet, shy , thoughtful person that likes to keep to myself , for this reason I have to say that i'm almost 25 and never had a boyfriend before only a short relationship that only lasted less than a month and that was about it. Frankly, whenever I develop a crush that is all I need, I can have the relationship in my head develop or just looking at the person's pic make me feel good, however when I have indeed revealed my emotions I'm usually rejected and im becoming hungry for a real relationship but don't know where to start.
I noticed that I'm into "artistic" guys those who love to make music, draw, design, compose poetry or sing and they are usually pretty sensible as well. It's like I attract them because of my fantasy world being activated and they could become an element of it , yet nothing real happens....
Are any of you past 20 and never been with anyone? how do we break through? I really don't want to end up alone ..........
I think i saw someone post something similar a couple of months ago. I'm 25 and have never had a long term relation ship . It seems to be common thing up here. I have very successful platonic relationships (two BFF i've been friends with for 12 years), but I also have not had a boyfriend for longer than a month (I've had 3 boyfriend in 7 years). I like the idea of dating at first, but a week or so in I can't seem to be bothered. After the third boyfriend, i removed myself from the dating scene (politely turning down any cupids), because I realized that no relationship would work until I was ready to maintain one.
You won't end up alone. I think when your in your 20's (at least now adays) it seems like everybody's hooking up and dating. Well, their going to break up or if they get married, probably get a divorce before they hit thirty anyway. Honestly, I think part of it is because people jump into relaitionships (even though they know the other person isn't right for them) because they don't want to be alone.
Just hang in there, sometimes the best relaitionships form when you least expect it, so that might happen for you. I have also heard that you have to go on test dates to see what you really like in a partner. For example, you may think you like a certian type (artistic, etc), but turns out you actually click better with another type. This was true for my sister.
For now, focus on you, getting comfortable with yourself, find all the things you want in life, socialize. The more you know about yourself the better you will know at what you may like in others. That is what I am currently doing.
I've personally never had a crush on one of my DD characters (one of them actually hurls whenever another character implies otherwise, lol xD), mainly because it could never be "real" enough to me. I need someone to anchor me in the real world, and there is absolutely no way a made-up character can do that. I'm 21 and I've only been asked on a date once, and it was one of those "friend" dates (i.e. no interest beyond friendship). So, unfortunately, I have no advice for you since I'm in the same situation myself. :/
Okay okay, so maybe I do. Some time after my crush of four years kindly yet bluntly told me that he would never date me, and after I flooded the surrounding 100 miles with tears, I had an epiphany, an idea that helped me cope with feelings of loneliness: The longer it takes for me to find my future husband, the better he's going to be. :) Super idealistic, I know, but hey, it helps me out. :)