Never had a boyfriend... - Wild Minds network2024-03-29T10:58:37Zhttps://wildminds.ning.com/forum/topics/never-had-a-boyfriend?feed=yes&xn_auth=noI've personally never had a c…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2012-12-16:4661400:Comment:1190332012-12-16T00:19:35.212ZSarah Bethhttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/SarahBeth
<p>I've personally never had a crush on one of my DD characters (one of them actually hurls whenever another character implies otherwise, lol xD), mainly because it could never be "real" enough to me. I need someone to anchor me in the real world, and there is absolutely no way a made-up character can do that. I'm 21 and I've only been asked on a date once, and it was one of those "friend" dates (i.e. no interest beyond friendship). So, unfortunately, I have no advice for you since I'm in the…</p>
<p>I've personally never had a crush on one of my DD characters (one of them actually hurls whenever another character implies otherwise, lol xD), mainly because it could never be "real" enough to me. I need someone to anchor me in the real world, and there is absolutely no way a made-up character can do that. I'm 21 and I've only been asked on a date once, and it was one of those "friend" dates (i.e. no interest beyond friendship). So, unfortunately, I have no advice for you since I'm in the same situation myself. :/</p>
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<p>Okay okay, so maybe I do. Some time after my crush of four years kindly yet bluntly told me that he would never date me, and after I flooded the surrounding 100 miles with tears, I had an epiphany, an idea that helped me cope with feelings of loneliness: The longer it takes for me to find my future husband, the better he's going to be. :) Super idealistic, I know, but hey, it helps me out. :)</p> I think i saw someone post so…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2012-12-14:4661400:Comment:1186262012-12-14T04:13:14.472ZWakethenighthttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/Wakethenight
<p>I think i saw someone post something similar a couple of months ago. I'm 25 and have never had a long term relation ship . It seems to be common thing up here. I have very successful platonic relationships (two BFF i've been friends with for 12 years), but I also have not had a boyfriend for longer than a month (I've had 3 boyfriend in 7 years). I like the idea of dating at first, but a week or so in I can't seem to be bothered. After the third boyfriend, i removed myself from the dating…</p>
<p>I think i saw someone post something similar a couple of months ago. I'm 25 and have never had a long term relation ship . It seems to be common thing up here. I have very successful platonic relationships (two BFF i've been friends with for 12 years), but I also have not had a boyfriend for longer than a month (I've had 3 boyfriend in 7 years). I like the idea of dating at first, but a week or so in I can't seem to be bothered. After the third boyfriend, i removed myself from the dating scene (politely turning down any cupids), because I realized that no relationship would work until I was ready to maintain one.</p>
<p>You won't end up alone. I think when your in your 20's (at least now adays) it seems like everybody's hooking up and dating. Well, their going to break up or if they get married, probably get a divorce before they hit thirty anyway. Honestly, I think part of it is because people jump into relaitionships (even though they know the other person isn't right for them) because they don't want to be alone.</p>
<p>Just hang in there, sometimes the best relaitionships form when you least expect it, so that might happen for you. I have also heard that you have to go on test dates to see what you really like in a partner. For example, you may think you like a certian type (artistic, etc), but turns out you actually click better with another type. This was true for my sister.</p>
<p>For now, focus on you, getting comfortable with yourself, find all the things you want in life, socialize. The more you know about yourself the better you will know at what you may like in others. That is what I am currently doing. </p>
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<p></p> Thank you all for your replie…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2012-12-14:4661400:Comment:1185332012-12-14T01:36:40.171Zyarihttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/yari
<p>Thank you all for your replies, I wasn't expecting that many so soon. I guess in my situation it is a mix of many different reasons , not just because my head it's in the clouds.</p>
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<p>@ aquarious I don't have any fear of intimacy because there wasn't even an opportunity to see what intimacy is all about. I only have one good friend and that's enough...but of course there's more...</p>
<p>1.I have hypothyroidism that causes great apathy and a lack of feelings , I was undiagnosed for…</p>
<p>Thank you all for your replies, I wasn't expecting that many so soon. I guess in my situation it is a mix of many different reasons , not just because my head it's in the clouds.</p>
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<p>@ aquarious I don't have any fear of intimacy because there wasn't even an opportunity to see what intimacy is all about. I only have one good friend and that's enough...but of course there's more...</p>
<p>1.I have hypothyroidism that causes great apathy and a lack of feelings , I was undiagnosed for years, not it fits into all the right places.</p>
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<p>2.My spiritual/religious beliefs makes guys around me look like maggots, I'm sorry but guys in Miami are not what I would call "a good catch" or not a drunk, drugged up idiot and many other things that really make me cringe when I see their behavior.</p>
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<p>3. Lack of chances, bad luck , unavailable guys, yes it makes me a little mad when I see totally mismatched couples or really bad effed up girls messing with the good guys. I can't believe every single random circumstance in the universe has worked against me to make me lonely....</p>
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<p></p> Mind 20's. I've been in one r…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2012-12-13:4661400:Comment:1183592012-12-13T01:56:02.736ZSteve Chttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/SteveC176
<p>Mind 20's. I've been in one relationship that lasted a couple months when I was in my early 20's. I was inexperienced to say the least, but it was after the breakup that really...changed me. She broke up with me, explained the reasons, and was pretty nice about it (it was long distance but we did meet in person). Immediately after that I did some very stupid things in desperation. I felt so much regret, that I spent the next two years DD'ing about time traveling back and changing the past. I…</p>
<p>Mind 20's. I've been in one relationship that lasted a couple months when I was in my early 20's. I was inexperienced to say the least, but it was after the breakup that really...changed me. She broke up with me, explained the reasons, and was pretty nice about it (it was long distance but we did meet in person). Immediately after that I did some very stupid things in desperation. I felt so much regret, that I spent the next two years DD'ing about time traveling back and changing the past. I did this with every spare moment I had to DD. I lost my job for underperforming. I became more of a recluse than I already was; I stopped hanging out with all of my friends completely and shut myself away DD'ing the time travel scenario. It's been about 7 years now, and I still think about her and that entire experience at least once a week still. I also DD more now than I did previous to that. I did learn things, and most of the time I feel like I'm over it. But when I sit down and think about it, I don't feel like I've let it go completely.</p> I'm 21 and I have been in rel…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2012-12-12:4661400:Comment:1183452012-12-12T11:09:34.843ZAlexandrahttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/Alexandra
<p>I'm 21 and I have been in relationships. Two of them more serious. Any of my relationships haven't lasted longer than a year. I did love these two guys I was with but I think it was just the time in my life when it was like kinda a must thing to have a boyfriend since everyone else started dating (was a teenager). I kinda always went with the flow and did things considered the norm. I know myself better now and I know for sure now that I'm not just a shy person, I do not have the desire to…</p>
<p>I'm 21 and I have been in relationships. Two of them more serious. Any of my relationships haven't lasted longer than a year. I did love these two guys I was with but I think it was just the time in my life when it was like kinda a must thing to have a boyfriend since everyone else started dating (was a teenager). I kinda always went with the flow and did things considered the norm. I know myself better now and I know for sure now that I'm not just a shy person, I do not have the desire to be in a relationships and the desire to just simply be around people. I do come online and chat obviously but yeah that fulfills whatever need I might have for interaction with other people. There are times where I feel I might need more but whenever I act upon it it drains me and I'm pretty much crashing for a couple of days afterwards. <br/><br/>I'd much rather DD then live in the real life at all. I do not daydream about myself though so the things happening and the relationships are not really mine. So maybe I don't know how to help you "break through" since I do not have a desire for a relationship. But you have to leave your dreamworld to interact and meet other people. And confidence is a good thing, I don't have much of it but you can act you have it. Eye contact goes far and is a good way to start. And thinking the person you like has no interest in you, you might be very wrong about that. Be honest about your feelings! Be honest to yourself!</p> I'm 24 and I've had two longi…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2012-12-11:4661400:Comment:1181672012-12-11T11:54:18.643ZOllyhttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/Olly
<p>I'm 24 and I've had two longish relationships (one four years, the second one year). Basically, I've found it hard to hang on to friends and a larger social scene over the years because of my obsession with imaginary things! This has a big problem - I always become overcommitted to that special person in my life, i fall in love with them and forget about everyone else... so when the relationship breaks up my life is kinda over and i gotta rebuild again :( Of course, hopefully one day I'll be…</p>
<p>I'm 24 and I've had two longish relationships (one four years, the second one year). Basically, I've found it hard to hang on to friends and a larger social scene over the years because of my obsession with imaginary things! This has a big problem - I always become overcommitted to that special person in my life, i fall in love with them and forget about everyone else... so when the relationship breaks up my life is kinda over and i gotta rebuild again :( Of course, hopefully one day I'll be with someone forever but the thing is that if that happens it's still better to have a wider friendship circle IMO that's greater than just two or three people.</p>
<p>One thing I might recommend for you is to forget about guys for a moment and instead focus on broadening your social circle, then inevitably you'll bump into the right person :) Just respect yourself and remember the problem isn't you - I'm sure your just a perfectly loveable but shy person and be patient and develop yourself... the rest will fall in place.</p>
<p>Man, I'm finding it SOOO much easier to give this advice to someone else than to take it myself! haha Good Luck!</p> I am the same, this actually…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2012-12-11:4661400:Comment:1183082012-12-11T11:11:06.072ZMarla Singerhttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/MarlaSinger
<p>I am the same, this actually made me cry, i have been trying to stop mding mainly because of how it impairs my social skills and i blame it for the reason i have never had a boyfriend. My friends make fun of me everyday and it really upsets me because they could never understand. Do you find that you make very little efffort with any guy who shows interest in you? i don't want to sound big headed but I am attractive (im a model) and a lot of guys approach me and chase after me but i reject…</p>
<p>I am the same, this actually made me cry, i have been trying to stop mding mainly because of how it impairs my social skills and i blame it for the reason i have never had a boyfriend. My friends make fun of me everyday and it really upsets me because they could never understand. Do you find that you make very little efffort with any guy who shows interest in you? i don't want to sound big headed but I am attractive (im a model) and a lot of guys approach me and chase after me but i reject every single one, eventhough i don't want to be alone. I play out the relationship in my head so i have dont have to put myself at risk of heartbreak or embarassment in real life.</p>
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<p>Do you feel like you can't talk about sex or relationships? Whenever anyone asks questions even as small as if i find someone attractive i feel kind of sick and i really dont want to talk about it but i dont understand why. I am so happy youve posted this</p> @Yari- what about friends? Do…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2012-12-11:4661400:Comment:1179952012-12-11T10:39:45.373ZAquariushttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/Aquarius
<p>@Yari- what about friends? Do you have a hard time with friends too? Do you have a best friend or a steady group? Maybe its your social skills coupled with fear of intimacy that's holding you back.</p>
<p>@Yari- what about friends? Do you have a hard time with friends too? Do you have a best friend or a steady group? Maybe its your social skills coupled with fear of intimacy that's holding you back.</p> I'm 25 too. I've been in a r…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2012-12-11:4661400:Comment:1181292012-12-11T01:56:09.004ZGina Blackhttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/GinaBlack
<p>I'm 25 too. I've been in a relationship before, but...the guy practically took my hand and claimed me as his girlfriend. It would have never begun otherwise! (Also, the happy relationship soon turned out to be problematic, to the point I don't count it as a complete experience)</p>
<p>About the rest of the guys, just like you, I kept being too busy with my imaginary life to consider a real affair. I didn't even DD much about having affairs.</p>
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<p>One thing I have learned so far:…</p>
<p>I'm 25 too. I've been in a relationship before, but...the guy practically took my hand and claimed me as his girlfriend. It would have never begun otherwise! (Also, the happy relationship soon turned out to be problematic, to the point I don't count it as a complete experience)</p>
<p>About the rest of the guys, just like you, I kept being too busy with my imaginary life to consider a real affair. I didn't even DD much about having affairs.</p>
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<p>One thing I have learned so far: willing to know people better is essential for getting a boyfriend. Since I started trying to pay attention to what people say, and smile, I found several guys who could be open to the possibility. I'm still a little clueless about what to do after this, since I suck at conversation and finding topics, so I usually chicken out. But there is one guy I'm going to try getting out with-I don't think he's "the one" but he's cute. That type of stuff is trial-and-error after all, some chatting experience could be useful. (For example, after a few past failures I have stopped mentioning I like knives, or that I study quantum mechanics, to people that don't know me well...it is intimidating, it seems!)</p> im 24 i had a serious relatio…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2012-12-11:4661400:Comment:1182112012-12-11T00:43:11.623ZJordanhttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/Jordan
<p>im 24 i had a serious relationship i didnt fantasize for the first 6months i was with her she became my obsession after awhile she started cheating on me and treating me bad so i stayed with her but started to fantasize again havnt had a meaningful relationship since it gets hard to open up and face rejection or someone you think is perfect turns out to be alot less than you expect</p>
<p>im 24 i had a serious relationship i didnt fantasize for the first 6months i was with her she became my obsession after awhile she started cheating on me and treating me bad so i stayed with her but started to fantasize again havnt had a meaningful relationship since it gets hard to open up and face rejection or someone you think is perfect turns out to be alot less than you expect</p>