Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest
I daydream about being a different race but i feel that since im black that white people just don't like me but i also feel that black people don't understand me because im not that hood or whatever. i daydream about being mixed or light skinned because there prettier than dark skinned girls and i don't want to go through life hating my color because i can't change it so should i stop daydreaming about being a different race or is it not a big deal? i download pictures of people i would like to look like, random people i see on instagram or facebook or even celebrities... i need help and advice because im about to be a senior and getting ready for college and i don't want to go into college hating myself or not being me.
I am biracial (Japanese and Caucasian) and my imaginary doppelganger is white. I'm pretty sure this has to do with the fact that in western society beautiful women figures are mainly white, such as Emma Stone, Reese Witherspoon, Natalie Portman, Heidi Klum, Miranda Kerr, etc.... It's not like I'm ashamed of my biracial-ness, in fact I'm very proud of my Japanese and Caucasian heritage and it has helped me make very pivotal decisions in my real life. However the fact remains: my imaginary self is a white, blond, blue eyed girl with the build of a ballet dancer who looks nothing like me.
I believe this whole "hating my color" will tide over eventually. One thing I'd suggest is to have a little talk with yourself. Look at yourself in the mirror, straight in the eye. This might be painful (it was for me), but really focus on making yourself do it. Tell your imaginary self that she is not you, and you are not her. Say this out loud. Separating from your unreal self is key in overcoming the pain that addictive daydreaming causes. If you don't get beyond your imaginary self, that girl is going to be walking around and have a life instead of you. And trust me, there are so many insanely beautiful colored people in the world; I remember walking downtown in the city once and saw this ridiculously gorgeous colored woman with a full head of naturally fluffy hair. I still remember just being stunned at how beautiful she is, not because of her color, but because she was able to walk like a woman who knew herself and had confidence in her identity beyond being colored. Plus her hair was sweet. I mean I wish I could do that with my hair (I'm bald so that really sticks with me).
Problems don't get resolved when nothing is done. Problems get resolved when something is done. If you want your life back, yourself back, you must MUST MUST reclaim it by taking the first step, which I believe is separating from your imaginary self. Good luck~ :)