My race? - Wild Minds network2024-03-29T12:11:58Zhttps://wildminds.ning.com/forum/topics/my-race?commentId=4661400%3AComment%3A147337&feed=yes&xn_auth=noI am biracial (Japanese and C…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2013-07-29:4661400:Comment:1507762013-07-29T04:39:57.927ZTessa Watanabehttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/TessaWatanabe
<p>I am biracial (Japanese and Caucasian) and my imaginary doppelganger is white. I'm pretty sure this has to do with the fact that in western society beautiful women figures are mainly white, such as Emma Stone, Reese Witherspoon, Natalie Portman, Heidi Klum, Miranda Kerr, etc.... It's not like I'm ashamed of my biracial-ness, in fact I'm very proud of my Japanese and Caucasian heritage and it has helped me make very pivotal decisions in my real life. However the fact remains: my imaginary…</p>
<p>I am biracial (Japanese and Caucasian) and my imaginary doppelganger is white. I'm pretty sure this has to do with the fact that in western society beautiful women figures are mainly white, such as Emma Stone, Reese Witherspoon, Natalie Portman, Heidi Klum, Miranda Kerr, etc.... It's not like I'm ashamed of my biracial-ness, in fact I'm very proud of my Japanese and Caucasian heritage and it has helped me make very pivotal decisions in my real life. However the fact remains: my imaginary self is a white, blond, blue eyed girl with the build of a ballet dancer who looks nothing like me.</p>
<p>I believe this whole "hating my color" will tide over eventually. One thing I'd suggest is to have a little talk with yourself. Look at yourself in the mirror, straight in the eye. This might be painful (it was for me), but really focus on making yourself do it. Tell your imaginary self that she is not you, and you are not her. Say this out loud. Separating from your unreal self is key in overcoming the pain that addictive daydreaming causes. If you don't get beyond your imaginary self, that girl is going to be walking around and have a life instead of you. And trust me, there are so many insanely beautiful colored people in the world; I remember walking downtown in the city once and saw this ridiculously gorgeous colored woman with a full head of naturally fluffy hair. I still remember just being stunned at how beautiful she is, not because of her color, but because she was able to walk like a woman who knew herself and had confidence in her identity beyond being colored. Plus her hair was sweet. I mean I wish I could do that with my hair (I'm bald so that really sticks with me).</p>
<p>Problems don't get resolved when nothing is done. Problems get resolved when something is done. If you want your life back, yourself back, you must MUST MUST reclaim it by taking the first step, which I believe is separating from your imaginary self. Good luck~ :)</p> This discussion brought back…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2013-07-26:4661400:Comment:1501522013-07-26T00:58:54.104Ztafflehttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/JohnTang
<p>This discussion brought back old memories, so I thought I should share. I used to daydream about being a different ethnicity. When I was younger, I lived in an inner-city neighborhood where there are many Vietnamese people. Many of my classmates are Vietnamese and some of my friends are Vietnamese. It was considered "cool" to be Vietnamese. They had their own gangs and the girls were fashion savvy. I am not Vietnamese but I yearned to be one of them. I had daydreams about being Vietnamese,…</p>
<p>This discussion brought back old memories, so I thought I should share. I used to daydream about being a different ethnicity. When I was younger, I lived in an inner-city neighborhood where there are many Vietnamese people. Many of my classmates are Vietnamese and some of my friends are Vietnamese. It was considered "cool" to be Vietnamese. They had their own gangs and the girls were fashion savvy. I am not Vietnamese but I yearned to be one of them. I had daydreams about being Vietnamese, speaking the language, etc. 2 of my childhood crushes were Vietnamese. Sometimes I feel like I don't fit in because it looks like my friends treat their brethren better than me. I feel like an outsider. I see many beautiful Vietnamese people and so I feel uglier because I didn't have the traits they had, like the large eyes and clear skin. I know one girl who was 1/4 Vietnamese but she would tell other people that she's 1/2 Vietnamese and not really like her other half. My own ethnicity was subjected to ridicule and joking, so I felt inferior, in a sense.</p>
<p>Fast-forward many years later. After the so-called "Korean Wave", now it's suddenly cool to be Korean. Many people watch Korean dramas and worship Korean idols and bands. I am a fan of Korean dramas and songs. My cousin doesn't even watch her country's dramas anymore; now she watches Korean dramas and has a Korean idol. It's embarrassing to admit, but there are girls who want Korean boyfriends. They think Korean men are hot. I am guilty of sometimes (not always) daydreaming about being Korean and dating Korean men.</p>
<p>Now,I feel horrible because I get this feeling I am somehow betraying myself. Anyways, I am older now so I try to rediscover my own culture and stop fantasizing about being somebody else.</p> Amen to everything said by Cr…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2013-07-13:4661400:Comment:1476852013-07-13T13:53:58.267Zroxannehttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/sallyann
<p>Amen to everything said by Creative Writer. I couldn't agree more.</p>
<p>Amen to everything said by Creative Writer. I couldn't agree more.</p> I hate being myself. Maybe yo…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2013-07-12:4661400:Comment:1476392013-07-12T08:51:20.492ZApril Dawn Halehttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/AprilDawnHale
<p>I hate being myself. Maybe you could make my life better. Wanna trade?</p>
<p><br/>Nah, nevermind, we can't do that. It's impossible, or at least I think it is. Then again, myabe this is the Matrix and even this reality is just a dream. If so, well, whoever is dreaming it must have made me one of the bad guys in their day dream.</p>
<p><br/>You are beautiful just the way you are, I'm sure.</p>
<p>I hate being myself. Maybe you could make my life better. Wanna trade?</p>
<p><br/>Nah, nevermind, we can't do that. It's impossible, or at least I think it is. Then again, myabe this is the Matrix and even this reality is just a dream. If so, well, whoever is dreaming it must have made me one of the bad guys in their day dream.</p>
<p><br/>You are beautiful just the way you are, I'm sure.</p> I also don't fit in anywhere.…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2013-07-10:4661400:Comment:1474192013-07-10T16:02:28.516Ztafflehttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/JohnTang
<p>I also don't fit in anywhere. I immigrated to the country I live in now. I have lived in several different cities over the years but cannot seem to fit in with the locals. I am like an alien that people hates and avoids. I met racists who demeaned me for my ethnicity. I feel more comfortable around people of my ethnicity which is why I moved to back to the city where immigrants like me are abundant. Sometimes I also dream about being mixed-race because they seem to have it better than us.…</p>
<p>I also don't fit in anywhere. I immigrated to the country I live in now. I have lived in several different cities over the years but cannot seem to fit in with the locals. I am like an alien that people hates and avoids. I met racists who demeaned me for my ethnicity. I feel more comfortable around people of my ethnicity which is why I moved to back to the city where immigrants like me are abundant. Sometimes I also dream about being mixed-race because they seem to have it better than us. They're physically beautiful, exotic, and often highly intelligent. I met some of those mixed kids at school and they're either very charismatic and/or very intelligent. Plus they're often multilingual and some of them can speak even better ethnic languages than I do even though they're mixed! When I am around them I often feel inferior, physically and intellectually. Sometimes I envy them for what they have, the best of both worlds.</p>
<p>However, I agree with the other posters it's important to be proud of who you are. I try to watch ethnic dramas and listen to ethnic songs to instill a sense of cultural pride in myself. I want to believe that my culture also has beautiful smart people. Living in a foreign country, it is hard to keep my own culture alive, and I feel lots of pressure to try to fit in with the locals.</p> I think you should be more co…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2013-07-09:4661400:Comment:1473372013-07-09T20:30:18.766ZAseelhttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/Aseel
<p>I think you should be more confident,no mater what people think it's not important.what's important is how you see yourself,beauty isn't about color or good looks it's about about what behind in that in your mind and heart.</p>
<p>I think you should be more confident,no mater what people think it's not important.what's important is how you see yourself,beauty isn't about color or good looks it's about about what behind in that in your mind and heart.</p> Who said that light girl are…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2013-07-09:4661400:Comment:1470962013-07-09T16:34:08.141ZPascalehttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/Pascale
<p>Who said that light girl are prettier than black? Beauty is very subjective. After I moved to Norway where they have enough of blond girls a lot of people tell me it was so nice with black curly hair. So I started liking it and now when I tell people I have been dreaming to have long strait blond hair they laugh.</p>
<p>Something you can try with your DD is let your dream character be as pretty and light you like. But give her a friend which is darker than you (if possible) and not really…</p>
<p>Who said that light girl are prettier than black? Beauty is very subjective. After I moved to Norway where they have enough of blond girls a lot of people tell me it was so nice with black curly hair. So I started liking it and now when I tell people I have been dreaming to have long strait blond hair they laugh.</p>
<p>Something you can try with your DD is let your dream character be as pretty and light you like. But give her a friend which is darker than you (if possible) and not really nice (or really ugly if you prefer). Then let the ugly black girl be very nice and helpful to your main character. So your main character will like the ugly black girl very much and feel sorry for her that she does not like herself. What will the pretty girl say or do to make the ugly black girl feel better about herself? Find out it is exactly what you need to ear. Time for the <span class="hps">Ugly Duckling</span> to discover he has grown swans wings.</p> It's so sad that you don't th…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2013-07-09:4661400:Comment:1470922013-07-09T15:29:55.615ZCordellia Amethyste Rosehttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/CordelliaRose
<p>It's so sad that you don't think you're beautiful because you're back. I don't think any race is more beautiful than another. They're all beautiful. My main character is white because she's based on me, and I'm pasty white. However, I do have black characters that are very important. I hope you'll learn to love yourself as you are. It's ok to have white characters, but try to integrate some black ones, and make them important and valued. </p>
<p>It's so sad that you don't think you're beautiful because you're back. I don't think any race is more beautiful than another. They're all beautiful. My main character is white because she's based on me, and I'm pasty white. However, I do have black characters that are very important. I hope you'll learn to love yourself as you are. It's ok to have white characters, but try to integrate some black ones, and make them important and valued. </p> Great discussion!tag:wildminds.ning.com,2013-07-09:4661400:Comment:1470832013-07-09T03:13:57.611Zroxannehttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/sallyann
<p>Great discussion!</p>
<p>Great discussion!</p> Thanks for bringing up the to…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2013-07-09:4661400:Comment:1471722013-07-09T03:07:16.774ZCatauxgoryhttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/Catauxgory
<p>Thanks for bringing up the topic of race. And thanks for everyone's really good comments. I throw my hat into this ring as a daydreamer whose character is a different race. I'm white, and one of my main female characters is black. I've lived with this character for so long, she's a part of me. I think it's probably true that daydreamers are likely to have characters that are very different in appearance from themselves, racially and ethnically. Race and ethnicity are major elements of…</p>
<p>Thanks for bringing up the topic of race. And thanks for everyone's really good comments. I throw my hat into this ring as a daydreamer whose character is a different race. I'm white, and one of my main female characters is black. I've lived with this character for so long, she's a part of me. I think it's probably true that daydreamers are likely to have characters that are very different in appearance from themselves, racially and ethnically. Race and ethnicity are major elements of identity, and identity is, in many ways, the psychological engine that drives daydreaming.</p>
<p>I think we can all agree that it's unhealthy to daydream about opposite-race characters to cover up self-loathing and un-acceptance of yourself. When I think about why I initially started thinking about my black character, it was definitely tied to the fact that I had such low self esteem and wanted to be different from what I was. And being this black character that I made up was definitely one of the coolest things I could think of being. I assigned her lots of other life history and character traits, but the fact that she was black was something I always loved, loved loved about her.</p>
<p>I know there's a bias toward light skinned men and women in the culture, but I have always defied that, and to me, dark skin is definitely more beautiful, sexier, more alluring, more awesome all around.I would just love to have it myself. And I happen to have super white milky skin that apparently some people admire and which I have never taken any pleasure in having. I have disliked it my whole life.</p>
<p>I think the aim is to definitely try to be on better terms with yourself. Strive to find the things you love about yourself and would never want to change. Over time, with my black character, she eventually ceased to be a "black" character. The fact that she was black eventually became something that I "forgot" and that just receded into the background because it was her character and personality that were the real material and substance of who she was, not her appearance.</p>
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