We all think MD is tell us things will get better. If that were the case, things would've got better already. I fell behind in life, as you'd expect, coming from someone who was a dreamer. I really should've broke this news to my family immediately, when it started happening. It made me feel warm and glowing with happiness at first—but then it practically ruined me. Today I have no career, no friends, no relationships, no house...I'm rock bottom. My mom thinks I deserve it. My dad thinks I can still do better. Next year is my 20th high school anniversary, but I probably won't go, because this is just incredibly mortifying. I had a job, but the pandemic took it away, and I've been distressingly job hunting for a year now. I'm not depressed or anxious...I'm just feel like a fool. I learned so much after an entirety of 23 years of MD. Thing is I can't stop the dreaming altogether, it's just a part of me and nobody understands that. In fact, the thought of their reactions towards me still gives me gag reflexes. Anyway, this was bound to happen, and I guess that I deserve it. It was a stupid to do. I hope the rest of you are doing so much better.

Views: 113

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

I realize that I need to work on making my life healthier, however, I am a valuable and special person. I deserve as much as anyone.  I didn’t choose DD.  I was gifted with it.  

I intend to get a therapist to help me talk through some of my issues. I think getting a fresh perspective on things might be helpful.  Maybe moving forward is really what counts.  All that’s in the past, is just ancient history.  If it doesn’t serve me well, then I should let it go.  I know that’s not always so easy.  

"All that’s in the past, is just ancient history."

I love this line, I will take your word for it. You have a point. It wasn't easy for me either, but I finally got rid of it. 

It's just, I feel that MD had clouded my judgement towards all aspects of my life. I believed in my dreams at one time, but I didn't think "what if that will happen?" When I was younger, I thought I had all the answers. I didn't know jack shit, I had no experience. All I needed to do was leave my comfort zone and find out for myself. 

We must be the same age because my high school reunion is going on this weekend. I'm sorry you're in such a low place. This is such a cliche but it really is baby steps (I'm saying this so I can hear it too btw). I used to go to the library, and still do, to try to get myself to focus to create a resume and apply for jobs. Applying for jobs is THE WORST. I hate it so much, it puts me in that place where I'm just obsessing over these future possibilities and imagining and replaying the perfect interview - etc. etc. Sends me into a spiral. Going to a public place to do the work really helps me.
Also, I feel you about the "telling people" thing- I admitted to my therapist I dreamed away 8 hours straight one day and he couldn't help but give me a look of surprise. It's like he just figured out how impactful it is for me, and that one minuscule look made me so so very sad. I still haven't shaken it. I've only told 4/10 therapists in my life (but no one else) but I think I need to see those looks. It IS shocking to people who don't live it, but I'm glad my therapist knows now. Anyway, back to you- YOU REALLY CAN DO IT! Being unemployed is tough, but you can get out. Even getting a temporary job doing retail or something to break up the isolation could really help. I believe in you! 

That’s unfortunate the therapist gave you an odd look. That should not happen.  People have all kinds of issues, They don’t need judgement from their mental health professional.  There are much worse things than DD.  I sometimes wonder what most other people do who  don’t DD.  Their  day must be rather dull and biring.  My days are always interesting, because I make them that way.  

Not only do I work running my own business, but I go to the gym 5 days a week to work out.  There are so many nice people there!  No one judges you either. I love it.  Plus, I’m getting a healthier and thinner body! Lol

Thanks. I'm thinking of a corporation, studio, charity job, even an art & deco shop. I like your option of applying at a public library, though I have a desktop, not a laptop. If I feel feel frustrated or get mentally fatigued, I just go for trail walks. APPLYING for jobs is my worse nightmare too. I happen to live with my parents, and my dad puts his ore into my efforts, and wonders why I haven't resolved finding work by now. He doesn't understand how the industry is today, because he's been working non-stop for an architectural firm since 1981. The job consultants will not find you a job, they'll just advise you with 1000 resources and 20 webinars. I've been sweating for days now, and I was lately advised to research my top favourite companies for through research and solid ratio applications. Overtime, my head just goes hazy, and I tend to procrastinate. I might even have to career segue. All in all, I hope you're right. I'm sure that I can do it.

My 20th high school reunion is Spring 2024. I can't be sure if I'll even go to this thing. I honestly want to move forward with my adult life and see myself be successful for a change. I find it super embarrassing to be in my current situation, when everybody else had it all figured out by the late 2000's. 

I see we are both in our late 30's and still pursuing our dream careers. 

To be frank, I've received worse looks by people. 


© 2023   Created by Valeria Franco.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service

G-S8WJHKYMQH Real Time Web Analytics