Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest
I am 27 and have never been in a long term relationship. I've had boyfriends, but it was always a part time thing, I never lived with any of them... so as soon as I got home I would go back into my DD world. Once I got to the point/age where I was expected to properly move in and emotionally invest in another person, it became too hard for me to have a proper long term relationship.
When I was in school my boyfriends would be involved in my MDD - I would tell them all about my characters etc and eventually they would dump me for being totally weird. Once I realised this, I stopped telling them about my MDD, but because my stories/art is all based on it, eventually they find out (just the characters and their stories..not that they are part of some MDD thing) and they think it's weird or totally boring.
I'm now at the point where I'm trying to fix my life before it's too late. I don't know why I am unable to have a long term relationship. I have a number of mental and physical issues which make it difficult for me to even have casual sex let alone any sort of relationship (autism, unsure of my sexuality, I have had abusive partners...to name just a few) I think I want to be married and have kids but it seems totally impossible for me. Note that I have been DDing ever since I can remember, long before any of these came up.
My question is: do my side issues cause MDD, or does my MDD cause my side issues?
Is MDD the symptom or the cause of my singleton life?
I don't new about the relationship I'm to scared to try. when i had a roommate I would time when my roommate went out so I could go into my head. The one time I could not hold off I just told my roommate that I was burning energy.I think this is one of the things caused by MDD