Where wild minds come to rest
Day 1 - I've been Maladaptive Daydreaming for over four years now, and I know that it's time to stop. I've recently been able to improve my life, but am facing some obstacles right now and want to clear my mind and focus on improvement. Today I spent a huge amount of time in depression and daydreaming, trying to escape my current circumstances and overlooking all the blessings in my life. I truly believe that all our lives have so much value, value beyond our imagination, and that we should try our hardest to recognize that value. So right now, I will take small steps, starting off by forgiving myself for all the mistakes I have made, and calmly take on whatever I need to do.
Day 10 - Today I kept myself busy for a large portion of the day, and as a result my MD was not that intense during those times of the day. However, towards the evening my daydreams did creep up and I allowed a feeling of tiredness and laziness take over and prevent me from taking the actions necessary to create a fulfilling evening. All I can do at this point is just to resolve in my mind that I'll give my best from this moment forward to cherish my time, and in the process keep my daydreams at bay.
Day 12 - So today I was somewhat busy and I did try keeping my mind motivated as much as I could, but I found myself sinking deeper into daydreaming. I've realized that my self-discipline is starting to deteriorate as I have less concrete goals at the moment, and that lack of discipline is making way for daydreaming. I really need to get up and get things together. I guess I should start going to bed earlier and waking up earlier so I have more time to focus on my goals in real life and spend less time being indecisive and daydreaming.
Day 22 - I had a fairly active morning with many emotional ups and downs. Right now I think it's critical that I keep myself busy, do something that makes me happy inside, and constantly watch my mind.
Day 32 - Honestly my daydreams have become more severe over the past two days, especially due to a sense of disappointment that I am not living up to my potential in real life. I really need to wean away from that perspective of pressure and focus more on inspiration. I need to ask myself the following statement: what did I come here to do? It is completely fine if I slip and make mistakes in the process, but giving up all hope is simply not an option.
Day 45 - Yesterday my daydreaming frequency was remarkably low, and I felt motivated and took action to help improve my real life. I woke up motivated this morning, but a thick blanket of daydreams quickly enveloped me. However, I will resolve not to give into them. Today can be an awesome and productive day—I just need to make sure to stay busy so I don't get sidetracked. As for problems in real life, I must carry fourth the confidence that I do have the ability to address them.
Day 1 - I haven't journaled in a long time, and now that I'm in a different situation with different goals and living conditions, I think that now is the time for me to make the final push against MDD. I was thinking last night how I would feel giving up my DD's, and I realized that even though there is a strong sadness-attachment element that would be involved, I would be able to free up so much time and energy in the process and it's about time that I give my real life the focus that it deserves. Today that starts by analyzing what my goals and purpose are for being here, and seeing through that I can do my best to fulfill those reasons. Any time I have a lack of inspiration, I'll just take it for how it is because I cannot always wait to be inspired to act, and one I start acting I can build inspiration. I need to give up MDD in order to:
1) Invest more time in my real life
2) Face fears (social, academic, purpose) head on and not escape from them
3) Develop deeper and more genuine interactions with the people around me
4) Become more in touch with who I really am and what I like to do
5) Have more time to develop hobbies and skills
6) Face feelings of embarrassment and humiliation head on, realizing that the mistakes I make are okay, and that other people's opinions do not define who I am
7) Overcome an urge to seem "amazing" to everyone around me, and instead find beauty and potential within everyone including myself
8) Stop being so narcissistic and realize that there's a whole huge world around me
I need to come back and view this list regularly and add more reasons along the way.