I feel like I am losing my kid to Maladaptive Daydreaming-Need guidance - Wild Minds network2024-03-29T01:41:46Zhttps://wildminds.ning.com/forum/topics/i-feel-like-i-am-losing-my-kid-to-maladaptive-daydreaming-need?commentId=4661400%3AComment%3A345174&xg_source=activity&feed=yes&xn_auth=noI wish you the best as well!tag:wildminds.ning.com,2019-10-07:4661400:Comment:3452752019-10-07T22:21:24.902ZMarcyhttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/Marcy
<p>I wish you the best as well!</p>
<p>I wish you the best as well!</p> Marcy:
Thank you so much for…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2019-10-07:4661400:Comment:3452742019-10-07T21:08:23.103ZMartha Bozichttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/MarthaBozic
<p>Marcy:</p>
<p></p>
<p>Thank you so much for your thoughtful sharing. I think you were on the right track in letting uncomfortable feelings surface and actually feeling them rather than using the bypass. I hope you have support in your efforts and wish you the best.<br></br> <br></br> <cite>Marcy said:…</cite></p>
<p>Marcy:</p>
<p></p>
<p>Thank you so much for your thoughtful sharing. I think you were on the right track in letting uncomfortable feelings surface and actually feeling them rather than using the bypass. I hope you have support in your efforts and wish you the best.<br/> <br/> <cite>Marcy said:</cite></p>
<blockquote cite="https://wildminds.ning.com/forum/topics/i-feel-like-i-am-losing-my-kid-to-maladaptive-daydreaming-need?commentId=4661400%3AComment%3A345174&xg_source=msg_com_forum#4661400Comment345174"><div><div class="xg_user_generated"><p>Martha,</p>
<p></p>
<p>You’re amazingly accurate in what you’ve pieced together :). I can manage to reduce MDing when I’m socializing or meeting someone new, same with family. The urge is always there, I guess, but in some situations and for certain periods of time, I am able to ignore it.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></p>
<p></p>
<p>A year ago, I started reflecting on why people MD. I spent my senior year in high school trying to abstain from it but always ended up “relapsing”. Every attempt to let go of my dreamworld has led me back to the realization that the “compulsion” (as you call it) will always come back and there’s basically nothing I can do to stop it, so I finally decided to stop beating myself up over it. During the period, I wasn’t just trying to physically stop MD, I was also trying very hard to let feelings resurface, feelings and sensations that made me want to “escape” to MD in the first place, like feelings of inadequacy and helplessness, and also trying to get used to them. I’ve also been trying to face my fears, like embarrassment, anxiety, speaking up, etc. I haven’t advanced much, but I have to say that doing this has helped the most in bringing me closer to the present. I’ve done a lot of thinking and I guess I can say that I’ve theoretically grasped how to stop MD, but practically doing it is what’s challenging. Frankly, I’m still on square one and don’t daydream much less than before the “war”.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></p>
<p></p>
<p>In short, it is very weird and frustrating to be both the person who is lost and the person with the directions.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Lol I managed to get a handle on school, though I catch myself slipping at times and having to burn the midnight oil, which isn’t fun. Since moving to uni, I spend most of my time alone, but I met a few people and have gone out a few times.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Hope these answered your questions :) ,<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></p>
<p></p>
<p>Marcy</p>
<p><br/> <br/> <cite>Martha Bozic said:</cite></p>
<blockquote cite="https://wildminds.ning.com/forum/topics/i-feel-like-i-am-losing-my-kid-to-maladaptive-daydreaming-need#4661400Comment345266"><div><div class="xg_user_generated"><p>Also you mentioned that you have been "warring" with MD the past year. Tell me about your struggle and how you are doing in school and socially if you care to share.</p>
<p><br/> <cite>Martha Bozic said:</cite></p>
<blockquote cite="https://wildminds.ning.com/forum/comment/show?id=4661400%3AComment%3A344996&xn_out=json&firstPage=1&lastPage=1&xg_token=615277a82f8e4be2a784437551715f0d&_=1570416527919#4661400Comment344996"><div><p>Marcy:</p>
<p>Thank you so much for your insight. It makes sense that self esteem is one of the main root causes. I am just grappling here trying to figure things out, but from what I can piece together in my son's situation and overlapping commonalities with others, it seems that there is some underlying anxiety and emotional sensitivities (I would consider him a highly sensitive and compassionate boy). Then there is also this element of a compulsion to do it that reminds me a little bit of OCD. There is this incredible lure in the escapism that this provides and a really gratifying short cut to bypassing negative emotions because he can propel himself into this alternate world and feel great without doing"the work" required to make him feel good in "reality". Another commonality is this really vivid imagination and this uncanny ability to get into this realm through the repetitive motion (pacing, galloping, etc).</p>
<p></p>
<p>I also think a root cause of this is feeling disconnected, lonely, or like an outsider. Do you find that you do it less when you engage more with friends, family, or activities? Or is it always there?</p>
<p></p>
<p>Thanks,</p>
<p>Martha<br/> <br/> <cite>Marcy said:</cite></p>
<blockquote cite="https://wildminds.ning.com/forum/topics/i-feel-like-i-am-losing-my-kid-to-maladaptive-daydreaming-need?commentId=4661400%3AComment%3A344961&xg_source=msg_com_forum#4661400Comment344961"><div><div class="xg_user_generated"><p>Hello. I'm sorry about your son's situation. I think it's very admirable that you're aware that something is wrong and are reaching out. In my experience, there's really has been no way to control or manage it, no matter how hard I tried to convince myself I was in control. The past year of warring with MD has made me realize that I can either let it run my life and behavior or I can try to overcome it, but finding a balance is simply not happening. I am a late teenager and still MDing, so I'm just going to share my experience and reflections, as well as suggestions based on those two.</p>
<p>I know you can't simply make him stop daydreaming, he himself probably can't either even if he willingly tried. When I was his age (and I was very similar to him, telling by the way you described him) not only was I bored without my daydreaming, but I was almost apathetic and disdainful towards reality, even though externally it appeared I had no reason to be. I remember when I was nine, I randomly decided to temporarily stop imagining an alternate world to actually acknowledge reality, and I remember ending up crying nonstop for the entire day. Now I realize that I didn’t despise reality because I hated school or because my daydreams were simply more interesting than real life, it was because I didn’t like myself. So in my daydreams I concocted versions of myself that I did like, that other people respected, a self that had the confidence to control the situation.</p>
<p>I said all this to show that it’s not just boredom that causes MD, even in young kids, it probably runs a little deeper. And causes are probably unique for everybody with MD. In my view, one has to have some degree of low self-esteem in order to become so easily obsessed with daydreaming about having power or living vicariously through book and video game characters, because that’s exactly why I did at that age. I hope I’m not overstepping by suggesting this, I just don’t want another kid ending up spending his/her teen years mentally and emotionally split and oblivious like I pretty much did, despite being surrounded by love and opportunities.</p>
<p>The practical suggestions I’m making are, while I don’t think he has to necessarily like reality yet, maybe at least get him like <em>himself</em>, if self-esteem really is the issue and cause. And maybe start to work on him learning to deal with embarrassment, if you haven't already. Or perhaps seek advice about self-esteem and dealing with embarrassment and other triggers from the social worker or another professional, I don't think he necessarily has to reveal or stop his daydreaming for that. Knowing this, maybe just maybe he'll be more willing to give the counseling a shot? I hope I'm making sense.</p>
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</blockquote> Martha,
You’re amazingly acc…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2019-10-07:4661400:Comment:3451742019-10-07T17:02:37.182ZMarcyhttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/Marcy
<p>Martha,</p>
<p></p>
<p>You’re amazingly accurate in what you’ve pieced together :). I can manage to reduce MDing when I’m socializing or meeting someone new, same with family. The urge is always there, I guess, but in some situations and for certain periods of time, I am able to ignore it.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></p>
<p></p>
<p>A year ago, I started reflecting on why people MD. I spent my senior year in high school trying to abstain from it but always ended up…</p>
<p>Martha,</p>
<p></p>
<p>You’re amazingly accurate in what you’ve pieced together :). I can manage to reduce MDing when I’m socializing or meeting someone new, same with family. The urge is always there, I guess, but in some situations and for certain periods of time, I am able to ignore it.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></p>
<p></p>
<p>A year ago, I started reflecting on why people MD. I spent my senior year in high school trying to abstain from it but always ended up “relapsing”. Every attempt to let go of my dreamworld has led me back to the realization that the “compulsion” (as you call it) will always come back and there’s basically nothing I can do to stop it, so I finally decided to stop beating myself up over it. During the period, I wasn’t just trying to physically stop MD, I was also trying very hard to let feelings resurface, feelings and sensations that made me want to “escape” to MD in the first place, like feelings of inadequacy and helplessness, and also trying to get used to them. I’ve also been trying to face my fears, like embarrassment, anxiety, speaking up, etc. I haven’t advanced much, but I have to say that doing this has helped the most in bringing me closer to the present. I’ve done a lot of thinking and I guess I can say that I’ve theoretically grasped how to stop MD, but practically doing it is what’s challenging. Frankly, I’m still on square one and don’t daydream much less than before the “war”.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></p>
<p></p>
<p>In short, it is very weird and frustrating to be both the person who is lost and the person with the directions.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Lol I managed to get a handle on school, though I catch myself slipping at times and having to burn the midnight oil, which isn’t fun. Since moving to uni, I spend most of my time alone, but I met a few people and have gone out a few times.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Hope these answered your questions :) ,<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></p>
<p></p>
<p>Marcy</p>
<p><br/> <br/> <cite>Martha Bozic said:</cite></p>
<blockquote cite="https://wildminds.ning.com/forum/topics/i-feel-like-i-am-losing-my-kid-to-maladaptive-daydreaming-need#4661400Comment345266"><div><div class="xg_user_generated"><p>Also you mentioned that you have been "warring" with MD the past year. Tell me about your struggle and how you are doing in school and socially if you care to share.</p>
<p><br/> <cite>Martha Bozic said:</cite></p>
<blockquote cite="https://wildminds.ning.com/forum/comment/show?id=4661400%3AComment%3A344996&xn_out=json&firstPage=1&lastPage=1&xg_token=615277a82f8e4be2a784437551715f0d&_=1570416527919#4661400Comment344996"><div><p>Marcy:</p>
<p>Thank you so much for your insight. It makes sense that self esteem is one of the main root causes. I am just grappling here trying to figure things out, but from what I can piece together in my son's situation and overlapping commonalities with others, it seems that there is some underlying anxiety and emotional sensitivities (I would consider him a highly sensitive and compassionate boy). Then there is also this element of a compulsion to do it that reminds me a little bit of OCD. There is this incredible lure in the escapism that this provides and a really gratifying short cut to bypassing negative emotions because he can propel himself into this alternate world and feel great without doing"the work" required to make him feel good in "reality". Another commonality is this really vivid imagination and this uncanny ability to get into this realm through the repetitive motion (pacing, galloping, etc).</p>
<p></p>
<p>I also think a root cause of this is feeling disconnected, lonely, or like an outsider. Do you find that you do it less when you engage more with friends, family, or activities? Or is it always there?</p>
<p></p>
<p>Thanks,</p>
<p>Martha<br/> <br/> <cite>Marcy said:</cite></p>
<blockquote cite="https://wildminds.ning.com/forum/topics/i-feel-like-i-am-losing-my-kid-to-maladaptive-daydreaming-need?commentId=4661400%3AComment%3A344961&xg_source=msg_com_forum#4661400Comment344961"><div><div class="xg_user_generated"><p>Hello. I'm sorry about your son's situation. I think it's very admirable that you're aware that something is wrong and are reaching out. In my experience, there's really has been no way to control or manage it, no matter how hard I tried to convince myself I was in control. The past year of warring with MD has made me realize that I can either let it run my life and behavior or I can try to overcome it, but finding a balance is simply not happening. I am a late teenager and still MDing, so I'm just going to share my experience and reflections, as well as suggestions based on those two.</p>
<p>I know you can't simply make him stop daydreaming, he himself probably can't either even if he willingly tried. When I was his age (and I was very similar to him, telling by the way you described him) not only was I bored without my daydreaming, but I was almost apathetic and disdainful towards reality, even though externally it appeared I had no reason to be. I remember when I was nine, I randomly decided to temporarily stop imagining an alternate world to actually acknowledge reality, and I remember ending up crying nonstop for the entire day. Now I realize that I didn’t despise reality because I hated school or because my daydreams were simply more interesting than real life, it was because I didn’t like myself. So in my daydreams I concocted versions of myself that I did like, that other people respected, a self that had the confidence to control the situation.</p>
<p>I said all this to show that it’s not just boredom that causes MD, even in young kids, it probably runs a little deeper. And causes are probably unique for everybody with MD. In my view, one has to have some degree of low self-esteem in order to become so easily obsessed with daydreaming about having power or living vicariously through book and video game characters, because that’s exactly why I did at that age. I hope I’m not overstepping by suggesting this, I just don’t want another kid ending up spending his/her teen years mentally and emotionally split and oblivious like I pretty much did, despite being surrounded by love and opportunities.</p>
<p>The practical suggestions I’m making are, while I don’t think he has to necessarily like reality yet, maybe at least get him like <em>himself</em>, if self-esteem really is the issue and cause. And maybe start to work on him learning to deal with embarrassment, if you haven't already. Or perhaps seek advice about self-esteem and dealing with embarrassment and other triggers from the social worker or another professional, I don't think he necessarily has to reveal or stop his daydreaming for that. Knowing this, maybe just maybe he'll be more willing to give the counseling a shot? I hope I'm making sense.</p>
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</blockquote> Also you mentioned that you h…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2019-10-07:4661400:Comment:3452662019-10-07T02:57:17.557ZMartha Bozichttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/MarthaBozic
<p>Also you mentioned that you have been "warring" with MD the past year. Tell me about your struggle and how you are doing in school and socially if you care to share.</p>
<p><br></br> <cite>Martha Bozic said:</cite></p>
<blockquote cite="https://wildminds.ning.com/forum/comment/show?id=4661400%3AComment%3A344996&xn_out=json&firstPage=1&lastPage=1&xg_token=615277a82f8e4be2a784437551715f0d&_=1570416527919#4661400Comment344996"><div><p>Marcy:</p>
<p>Thank you so much for your…</p>
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<p>Also you mentioned that you have been "warring" with MD the past year. Tell me about your struggle and how you are doing in school and socially if you care to share.</p>
<p><br/> <cite>Martha Bozic said:</cite></p>
<blockquote cite="https://wildminds.ning.com/forum/comment/show?id=4661400%3AComment%3A344996&xn_out=json&firstPage=1&lastPage=1&xg_token=615277a82f8e4be2a784437551715f0d&_=1570416527919#4661400Comment344996"><div><p>Marcy:</p>
<p>Thank you so much for your insight. It makes sense that self esteem is one of the main root causes. I am just grappling here trying to figure things out, but from what I can piece together in my son's situation and overlapping commonalities with others, it seems that there is some underlying anxiety and emotional sensitivities (I would consider him a highly sensitive and compassionate boy). Then there is also this element of a compulsion to do it that reminds me a little bit of OCD. There is this incredible lure in the escapism that this provides and a really gratifying short cut to bypassing negative emotions because he can propel himself into this alternate world and feel great without doing"the work" required to make him feel good in "reality". Another commonality is this really vivid imagination and this uncanny ability to get into this realm through the repetitive motion (pacing, galloping, etc).</p>
<p></p>
<p>I also think a root cause of this is feeling disconnected, lonely, or like an outsider. Do you find that you do it less when you engage more with friends, family, or activities? Or is it always there?</p>
<p></p>
<p>Thanks,</p>
<p>Martha<br/> <br/> <cite>Marcy said:</cite></p>
<blockquote cite="https://wildminds.ning.com/forum/topics/i-feel-like-i-am-losing-my-kid-to-maladaptive-daydreaming-need?commentId=4661400%3AComment%3A344961&xg_source=msg_com_forum#4661400Comment344961"><div><div class="xg_user_generated"><p>Hello. I'm sorry about your son's situation. I think it's very admirable that you're aware that something is wrong and are reaching out. In my experience, there's really has been no way to control or manage it, no matter how hard I tried to convince myself I was in control. The past year of warring with MD has made me realize that I can either let it run my life and behavior or I can try to overcome it, but finding a balance is simply not happening. I am a late teenager and still MDing, so I'm just going to share my experience and reflections, as well as suggestions based on those two.</p>
<p>I know you can't simply make him stop daydreaming, he himself probably can't either even if he willingly tried. When I was his age (and I was very similar to him, telling by the way you described him) not only was I bored without my daydreaming, but I was almost apathetic and disdainful towards reality, even though externally it appeared I had no reason to be. I remember when I was nine, I randomly decided to temporarily stop imagining an alternate world to actually acknowledge reality, and I remember ending up crying nonstop for the entire day. Now I realize that I didn’t despise reality because I hated school or because my daydreams were simply more interesting than real life, it was because I didn’t like myself. So in my daydreams I concocted versions of myself that I did like, that other people respected, a self that had the confidence to control the situation.</p>
<p>I said all this to show that it’s not just boredom that causes MD, even in young kids, it probably runs a little deeper. And causes are probably unique for everybody with MD. In my view, one has to have some degree of low self-esteem in order to become so easily obsessed with daydreaming about having power or living vicariously through book and video game characters, because that’s exactly why I did at that age. I hope I’m not overstepping by suggesting this, I just don’t want another kid ending up spending his/her teen years mentally and emotionally split and oblivious like I pretty much did, despite being surrounded by love and opportunities.</p>
<p>The practical suggestions I’m making are, while I don’t think he has to necessarily like reality yet, maybe at least get him like <em>himself</em>, if self-esteem really is the issue and cause. And maybe start to work on him learning to deal with embarrassment, if you haven't already. Or perhaps seek advice about self-esteem and dealing with embarrassment and other triggers from the social worker or another professional, I don't think he necessarily has to reveal or stop his daydreaming for that. Knowing this, maybe just maybe he'll be more willing to give the counseling a shot? I hope I'm making sense.</p>
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</blockquote> Marcy:
Thank you so much for…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2019-10-07:4661400:Comment:3449962019-10-07T02:48:48.196ZMartha Bozichttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/MarthaBozic
<p>Marcy:</p>
<p>Thank you so much for your insight. It makes sense that self esteem is one of the main root causes. I am just grappling here trying to figure things out, but from what I can piece together in my son's situation and overlapping commonalities with others, it seems that there is some underlying anxiety and emotional sensitivities (I would consider him a highly sensitive and compassionate boy). Then there is also this element of a compulsion to do it that reminds me a little bit…</p>
<p>Marcy:</p>
<p>Thank you so much for your insight. It makes sense that self esteem is one of the main root causes. I am just grappling here trying to figure things out, but from what I can piece together in my son's situation and overlapping commonalities with others, it seems that there is some underlying anxiety and emotional sensitivities (I would consider him a highly sensitive and compassionate boy). Then there is also this element of a compulsion to do it that reminds me a little bit of OCD. There is this incredible lure in the escapism that this provides and a really gratifying short cut to bypassing negative emotions because he can propel himself into this alternate world and feel great without doing"the work" required to make him feel good in "reality". Another commonality is this really vivid imagination and this uncanny ability to get into this realm through the repetitive motion (pacing, galloping, etc).</p>
<p></p>
<p>I also think a root cause of this is feeling disconnected, lonely, or like an outsider. Do you find that you do it less when you engage more with friends, family, or activities? Or is it always there?</p>
<p></p>
<p>Thanks,</p>
<p>Martha<br/> <br/> <cite>Marcy said:</cite></p>
<blockquote cite="https://wildminds.ning.com/forum/topics/i-feel-like-i-am-losing-my-kid-to-maladaptive-daydreaming-need?commentId=4661400%3AComment%3A344961&xg_source=msg_com_forum#4661400Comment344961"><div><div class="xg_user_generated"><p>Hello. I'm sorry about your son's situation. I think it's very admirable that you're aware that something is wrong and are reaching out. In my experience, there's really has been no way to control or manage it, no matter how hard I tried to convince myself I was in control. The past year of warring with MD has made me realize that I can either let it run my life and behavior or I can try to overcome it, but finding a balance is simply not happening. I am a late teenager and still MDing, so I'm just going to share my experience and reflections, as well as suggestions based on those two.</p>
<p>I know you can't simply make him stop daydreaming, he himself probably can't either even if he willingly tried. When I was his age (and I was very similar to him, telling by the way you described him) not only was I bored without my daydreaming, but I was almost apathetic and disdainful towards reality, even though externally it appeared I had no reason to be. I remember when I was nine, I randomly decided to temporarily stop imagining an alternate world to actually acknowledge reality, and I remember ending up crying nonstop for the entire day. Now I realize that I didn’t despise reality because I hated school or because my daydreams were simply more interesting than real life, it was because I didn’t like myself. So in my daydreams I concocted versions of myself that I did like, that other people respected, a self that had the confidence to control the situation.</p>
<p>I said all this to show that it’s not just boredom that causes MD, even in young kids, it probably runs a little deeper. And causes are probably unique for everybody with MD. In my view, one has to have some degree of low self-esteem in order to become so easily obsessed with daydreaming about having power or living vicariously through book and video game characters, because that’s exactly why I did at that age. I hope I’m not overstepping by suggesting this, I just don’t want another kid ending up spending his/her teen years mentally and emotionally split and oblivious like I pretty much did, despite being surrounded by love and opportunities.</p>
<p>The practical suggestions I’m making are, while I don’t think he has to necessarily like reality yet, maybe at least get him like <em>himself</em>, if self-esteem really is the issue and cause. And maybe start to work on him learning to deal with embarrassment, if you haven't already. Or perhaps seek advice about self-esteem and dealing with embarrassment and other triggers from the social worker or another professional, I don't think he necessarily has to reveal or stop his daydreaming for that. Knowing this, maybe just maybe he'll be more willing to give the counseling a shot? I hope I'm making sense.</p>
</div>
</div>
</blockquote> Hello. I'm sorry about your s…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2019-10-04:4661400:Comment:3449612019-10-04T05:36:50.408ZMarcyhttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/Marcy
<p>Hello. I'm sorry about your son's situation. I think it's very admirable that you're aware that something is wrong and are reaching out. In my experience, there's really has been no way to control or manage it, no matter how hard I tried to convince myself I was in control. The past year of warring with MD has made me realize that I can either let it run my life and behavior or I can try to overcome it, but finding a balance is simply not happening. I am a late teenager and still MDing, so…</p>
<p>Hello. I'm sorry about your son's situation. I think it's very admirable that you're aware that something is wrong and are reaching out. In my experience, there's really has been no way to control or manage it, no matter how hard I tried to convince myself I was in control. The past year of warring with MD has made me realize that I can either let it run my life and behavior or I can try to overcome it, but finding a balance is simply not happening. I am a late teenager and still MDing, so I'm just going to share my experience and reflections, as well as suggestions based on those two.</p>
<p>I know you can't simply make him stop daydreaming, he himself probably can't either even if he willingly tried. When I was his age (and I was very similar to him, telling by the way you described him) not only was I bored without my daydreaming, but I was almost apathetic and disdainful towards reality, even though externally it appeared I had no reason to be. I remember when I was nine, I randomly decided to temporarily stop imagining an alternate world to actually acknowledge reality, and I remember ending up crying nonstop for the entire day. Now I realize that I didn’t despise reality because I hated school or because my daydreams were simply more interesting than real life, it was because I didn’t like myself. So in my daydreams I concocted versions of myself that I did like, that other people respected, a self that had the confidence to control the situation.</p>
<p>I said all this to show that it’s not just boredom that causes MD, even in young kids, it probably runs a little deeper. And causes are probably unique for everybody with MD. In my view, one has to have some degree of low self-esteem in order to become so easily obsessed with daydreaming about having power or living vicariously through book and video game characters, because that’s exactly why I did at that age. I hope I’m not overstepping by suggesting this, I just don’t want another kid ending up spending his/her teen years mentally and emotionally split and oblivious like I pretty much did, despite being surrounded by love and opportunities.</p>
<p>The practical suggestions I’m making are, while I don’t think he has to necessarily like reality yet, maybe at least get him like <em>himself</em>, if self-esteem really is the issue and cause. And maybe start to work on him learning to deal with embarrassment, if you haven't already. Or perhaps seek advice about self-esteem and dealing with embarrassment and other triggers from the social worker or another professional, I don't think he necessarily has to reveal or stop his daydreaming for that. Knowing this, maybe just maybe he'll be more willing to give the counseling a shot? I hope I'm making sense.</p> I had to quit daydreaming, a…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2019-08-01:4661400:Comment:3423352019-08-01T13:42:37.442ZSilver Swanhttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/SilverSwan51
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<p>I had to quit daydreaming, as so many people were finding out what I was doing, and it wasn't good. I also have a form of asperger syndrome, so I failed to conceal my MDD. Sooner than later, everybody reacted like they thought I was on Mars, because I wouldn't listen to their words. Some of them reacted so over the top, as though I'd be executed by nightfall. I heard many people on this website were able to hide their MD for years, and had no trouble with people. I kind of envy them…</p>
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<p>I had to quit daydreaming, as so many people were finding out what I was doing, and it wasn't good. I also have a form of asperger syndrome, so I failed to conceal my MDD. Sooner than later, everybody reacted like they thought I was on Mars, because I wouldn't listen to their words. Some of them reacted so over the top, as though I'd be executed by nightfall. I heard many people on this website were able to hide their MD for years, and had no trouble with people. I kind of envy them for it.</p> Hello Martha. Weather’s situa…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2019-08-01:4661400:Comment:3424012019-08-01T04:30:50.102ZTalylahttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/Talyla
Hello Martha. Weather’s situation sure sounds a lot like mine. In fact, I took up archery as well because I wanted to be able to feel like I was actually in my daydreams. What helped me stop maladaptive daydreaming (for the most part), was finding something that made me feel good enough to quit. I didn’t quit consciously, I just gradually stopped daydreaming. I still daydream a bit, but not like the 4 hours per day I used to. Now it’s more like 1 hour a day, but in more realistic situation. I…
Hello Martha. Weather’s situation sure sounds a lot like mine. In fact, I took up archery as well because I wanted to be able to feel like I was actually in my daydreams. What helped me stop maladaptive daydreaming (for the most part), was finding something that made me feel good enough to quit. I didn’t quit consciously, I just gradually stopped daydreaming. I still daydream a bit, but not like the 4 hours per day I used to. Now it’s more like 1 hour a day, but in more realistic situation. I didn’t want to stop daydreaming, it just happened. I suggest you maybe find your son a hobby that we will love so much, it will help stop his daydreaming. I admire your son so much for telling you about his daydreams, I was always too scared to tell my parents, and when I finally did, they didn’t believe me and told me that maladaptive daydreaming was a condition I invented in my head to explain my forgetfulness. I’m so glad you are taking care of him and didn’t shoot the idea of maladaptive daydreaming down, you will really help your son in the future. Hi, I'm glad it (hopefully) h…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2019-06-24:4661400:Comment:3409612019-06-24T08:38:48.890ZWeatherhttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/Weather
<p>Hi, I'm glad it (hopefully) helped.</p>
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<p>Yes, I'm an adult - wife and two kids. It is still an issue yes, it consumes a notable part of my life and day, and has certainly impacted my marriage negatively.<br></br><br></br>That said, it is not the overriding issue it used to be in my childhood and teens. I have also found that channeling it helps - if I find myself slipping into DM about a specific thing (for instance Skyrim which consumed a large part of my time and attention) then instead…</p>
<p>Hi, I'm glad it (hopefully) helped.</p>
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<p>Yes, I'm an adult - wife and two kids. It is still an issue yes, it consumes a notable part of my life and day, and has certainly impacted my marriage negatively.<br/><br/>That said, it is not the overriding issue it used to be in my childhood and teens. I have also found that channeling it helps - if I find myself slipping into DM about a specific thing (for instance Skyrim which consumed a large part of my time and attention) then instead of fantasizing about the world and building interesting stories and characters in my head, I decided to learn how to do 3d modeling from tutorials to make these fantasies a reality. Wrote some mods for the game to make it match my daydreams. Not necessarily a healthy way to go about it, but certainly better than the alternative.<br/><br/>Similarly I tried pepakura (computer generated designs for paper-folding that produce whatever the design is, in this case the beautiful helmets that characters wear in the game) and after managing it used steel instead of paper, creating replicas of the helmets, which I sold.</p>
<p><br/>It is still a problem for me, and honestly I don't have a solution as such. I only have advice on what I did to make the DM include social interaction and learning useful skills. And what caused me to recognize it as a problem, instead of simply my lifestyle choice, because up till the point that I saw it as a problem instead of a solution I had little noticeable progress. <br/><br/>If you want me to draw up a list of suggestions or some such don't hesitate to ask. I hope this helps.</p> Wow! Thank you so much for…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2019-06-21:4661400:Comment:3407942019-06-21T04:34:16.451ZMartha Bozichttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/MarthaBozic
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<p>Wow! Thank you so much for sharing your story your very welcomed advice. This is exactly what I was hoping for. I didn't see your reply sooner than tonight.</p>
<p>So you shared what helped you through your youth. I'm curious about how are you doing now? I assume you are an adult now. Is it still an issue for you? Does it still impact your life and relationships at all?</p>
<p>Warmly,</p>
<p>Martha</p>
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<p>Wow! Thank you so much for sharing your story your very welcomed advice. This is exactly what I was hoping for. I didn't see your reply sooner than tonight.</p>
<p>So you shared what helped you through your youth. I'm curious about how are you doing now? I assume you are an adult now. Is it still an issue for you? Does it still impact your life and relationships at all?</p>
<p>Warmly,</p>
<p>Martha</p>