Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest
I am in my twenties and have daydreamed since I was very young, I have also had depression since I was young and just recently went off my antidepressants. Since going off of them the amount of time I daydream each day has increased by several hours.
My whole life has been pretty difficult and I recently have just really given up on the outside world. I don't have any friends (not for lack of trying over the years) and have no interest in making friends, I feel as if it is not worth it (because I have been hurt a lot in the past and have struggled with making friends my whole life) I don't care about dating anyone ever again, going out or experiencing anything in the real world, or trying to improve my life. I don't see the point anymore. I maintain a job that I work from at home only to pay for bills.
Obviously my lack of interest in the world/going out/nothing sounds fun has a lot to do with my depression, and so now I would rather just spend my time daydreaming any time I am not working.
Has anyone ever felt this way? like you would just always rather live in your fantasy life than in the real one? like people in the real world just aren't worth it because I honestly view the world as not being such a great place full of not so great people?
I just can't find any reason to experience anything outside my fantasies, like I have tried to improve my life tons of times only to end up in the same place.
Sometimes when I see that the world is really overwhelming with the crime and the hate, I just shut down and disappear in my world. It acts like a sheild and helps me to block out what is going on outside but; the more I do that and the less time I spend with the outside world the harder it gets to come out of my fantasy world and for me that can be quite dangerous. As it makes it harder for me to focus on things I need to do in the real world.
I just don't know how much more I can take. Daydreaming seems to be the only thing that makes me happy and I have become obsessed with a certain character from a tv show, and every time I see this person anywhere (online etc) it drives me crazy. I think about this characters real life day to day or repeat the tv show things in my head over and over again, and it is kind of driving me crazy. I think about it all day everyday, even during work now. I just feel like I am being sucked in to a big black hole and I can't get out.
I get this. I suffer from recurrent bouts of depression. Lately, though I don't feel depressed, I've been having the symptoms. I stopped talking to what few friends I have ( and they haven't seemed to notice either) and I definitely don't want to be in a relationship. I often just imagine myself being alone and never getting married and all that. I just want to go inside my head and never come out.
I force myself to come out though because I tend to crash really hard when I don't, but I still don't want to socialize with anyone. I'm just not very happy with people and the world in general these days. Though sometimes I get so depressed that I simply cannot daydream. I am not in that spot right now, I'm just doing my escapist thing, trying to avoid the path of cynicism after a recent bout of bad luck in my love life.
For me, it will pass eventually.
I hope you get better soon with your depression.
I have been where you are before. It's not a nice place to be.