Right now I have the daydreams under control.  I only daydream when appropriate.  While doing hobbies, yard work, or something boring and mundane at my job that requires no thought.  So basically I do it to entertain myself.

I used to stay in bed and "sleep" as much as possible on my days off, just so I could daydream.  Of course I questioned why I was wasting so much time daydreaming. Here's what I found that seemed to be my problem.

1. My character:  I noticed that while I didn't change myself significantly, I did add a few minor touches and improvements. Let's just say that in my stories I basically made myself look like I do on my very best day.  My hair is done really pretty, my make up is flawless, my clothes are beautiful.

So I started thinking that of course this would mirror some of my feelings in real life.  I went to the salon, got a "new do", bought some new make up and invested in my wardrobe.  Now when I go out I feel like I look nice.

2. Relationships:  I always centered my daydreams around a character that loved my character unconditionally, She is the center of his world. He would die for her.  I make a story from beginning to end, with conversation and drama and the whole nine yards...

So, I started thinking that maybe I'm lacking that feeling of closeness.  This is crazy to me because I am married and my husband is great.  I started to improve communication with him and I felt closer than ever before.  No walls, no secrets, it's great.  He even knows about my stories in my head, my disfunctional childhood, etc...

3. Entertainment:  I daydream to entertain myself.  I also did it to replace the friends that I didn't have.  I felt lonely and bored.  I started to make friends in the real world to replace my daydream friends. 

4. Depression: when I'm happy in reality and not depressed I don't need to daydream in order to self sooth. I feel depressed about 1 or 2 weeks every 6 months or so.  It comes and just "sits on me" and I can't shake it until it's ready to go.  Then I just wake up happy again thank God. I don't know what I would do if it stayed.

Ok so I got mine under control, hope it lasts and hope this might help someone.

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I forgot to mention the one really strange thing.  I decided that there is no shame in my daydreams and I decided to tell my stories to other people. They enjoy my stories.  I thought maybe they can be used for good in my life and not take away my life like they used to.

I'm glad to hear things are doing better for you. 


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