I've always been ashamed of my ability to recreate characters to suit my level of happiness or rather unhappiness and my interactions with them. I wouldn't dare telling a soul about what I do in my head (they would perhaps think I am a bit loony).
Like Theaxe, my characters are loosely based on real life people. I create the lead (myself) based on a mixture of characters from various movies. When I'm happy am a "the hot, rich, cool, sexy, funny, all he has it" that every teenager hopes to be and every parent dreads. (It is very rare to find me playing this role cause i usually daydream when I'm feeling pessimistic)
When I'm depressed I tend to be the darker version of the above character. A boy/girl with an abusive childhood, addiction to the meds etc.
But at times if my mood changes in between, the character ends up being rich and successful, unlike what happens in real life to most people who maybe drug addicts.
I tend to come across celebrities, who seem to have it all regardless of whether they do in reality and recreate myself based on these characters.
Today I read the account of a boy with an insecure childhood, mother a heroine addict who encouraged him to turn to needles. The boy was in a band and died at a young age due to overdose. Despite his unfortunate life, I took his character and story and remoulded it to my liking.
Mind you I don't take drugs, smoke or even drink. I've had a pretty secure childhood, and am secure in my skin. However, I feel the dire need to be the character in my real life or someone else. My uneventful life has to be blamed for it according to me. My mom wants to know the friends whom I will be hanging out with if I tell her that Ive made plans with them.
I fear that if I let people in my life or anyone who knows my real identity to know about my MD, I would have to kill them (just kidding)
I'm glad I shared this with you lot, I feel much better now compared to how I felt this morning kudos to the boy in the band.