Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest
I was wondering because...
Sometimes a lot.
I so desperately want that my ddreams are real that I sometimes merge then with real life through lies.
I'm kinda embarassed, cause I said this. But I can't help it. It's not that that I'm telling people that I'm superhero or something, but I'm always making things that happened to me more beautiful. I'm making myself more beautiful. I'm going through something and then I daydream about it, about how I would like it to be.. And then I make it that way... by not telling the truth. By telling what I daydreamed.
I've often considered my self a pathological liar. Well I go from one extreme to another (I'm a Borderline Baby! We ain't go no grey areas!). Blatant lies to brutal honesty. It started in 6th grade when I created an imaginary group of friends who lived in another town. The group did exist and I met them occasionally, it was my wildly popular cousins clique of friends. I was as cool as dog shit in school so I weaved my life into theirs. My strategy was, oh you think I'm dog shit but if you where over in Boondocks Town with me you'd get rolled on! A legend in my own mind. It was an elaborate coping mechanism. Some times news of parties or incidents from Boondocks Town would reach My Town and people would ask me what happened, I'd call my cousin and get details and tailor myself into her neighborhood queen experience, "Like we didn't go because we heard that Matt was bringing a to scare Dirdre's brother, so we didn't go. In reality it was my cousin avoiding the confrontation, I was at home eating, eating, eating my lonliness away and reading book, probably. It was my trying to appear popular and cool when I really was a geeky turb.
Thanks for the answers.. :)
I'm 20.. And yes, the older I get, the less I care about what people think..
But I still can't stop lying. Don't feel gulity though.
And yes, the internet does not help. I also have zillion of different identities and they're the best proof of how good liar I am.
Right now, I'm trying to convince myself that I have a big problem. Just like DD.
Ariel Rapahell said:
Eventually I grew out of it. I don't know how old you are but for me this need of impressing people I don't know or care about became a thing of the past when grown-up stuff kicked in. Kinda like when you don't care if you're friends with the cool people anymore.