Daydreams never about me - Wild Minds network2024-03-29T09:28:17Zhttps://wildminds.ning.com/forum/topics/daydreams-never-about-me?commentId=4661400%3AComment%3A245536&feed=yes&xn_auth=noAnyone sensitive and prone to…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2016-10-07:4661400:Comment:2461232016-10-07T15:57:28.993ZEretaiahttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/Eretaia
<p>Anyone sensitive and prone to bottling things up probably has a bigger chance to resort to behaviors like MD. On the other side, I'd say that having rich inner world has nothing to do with MD. Imagination is healthy but MD isn't imagination. MD is addictive attachment to it. I'd also bet that inappropriate stress response on a physiological level probably has a lot to do with MD because MD is basically a fix to deal with too much inner tension, both psychological and…</p>
<p>Anyone sensitive and prone to bottling things up probably has a bigger chance to resort to behaviors like MD. On the other side, I'd say that having rich inner world has nothing to do with MD. Imagination is healthy but MD isn't imagination. MD is addictive attachment to it. I'd also bet that inappropriate stress response on a physiological level probably has a lot to do with MD because MD is basically a fix to deal with too much inner tension, both psychological and physiological.<br/><br/>It's totally normal to have all kinds of fantasies going on at the same time, be it first or third-person. Each type of fantasy deals with a different aspect of yourself that got repressed and there's no universal law what one or the other means. If, for example, you're daydreaming about imaginary conversation between you and someone else arguing where you're telling them in their face things you'd never say in real life, it immediately signals you're insecure about voicing out your opinion. But the point is, this insecurity in particular is not as complicated and deep like, for example, fear of intimacy coupled with feeling inadequate in your own body which theoretically has higher chance of triggering third-person daydreams instead of first-person, precisely in order to avoid that self which one tries to run away from. So, yeah, each type of fantasy and story behind it is a unique story.</p> Thank you to everyone for you…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2016-10-05:4661400:Comment:2452942016-10-05T16:15:41.434ZMell D'Clutehttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/MellDClute
<p>Thank you to everyone for your feedback. It is really helpful.</p>
<p>Through my first discussion with a therapist, I've also come to realize that I struggle with being a highly sensitive person (HSP). Some things I was aware of previously — like how sensitive I am to scents, or loud conversations in the background — but other things I'm realizing are more about how I process things. Take stress, for instance. I find myself wanting to withdraw if things get too overwhelming. I've also…</p>
<p>Thank you to everyone for your feedback. It is really helpful.</p>
<p>Through my first discussion with a therapist, I've also come to realize that I struggle with being a highly sensitive person (HSP). Some things I was aware of previously — like how sensitive I am to scents, or loud conversations in the background — but other things I'm realizing are more about how I process things. Take stress, for instance. I find myself wanting to withdraw if things get too overwhelming. I've also discovered that people who are HSPs tend to have a rich, inner world. So now I am wondering if MD is also associated with being a HSP, or vice versa.</p>
<p>Also, I have also come to realize that there are some MDs I have that are about me, but more like I imagine an imaginary conversation with someone when trying to resolve issues I don't know how else to deal with, sometimes way back in the past, other times when someone gets on my nerves at work during the day. It certainly doesn't happen nearly as often as my main DD about the superheroes I previously mentioned, but it does happen on occasion.</p> Yep. In fact, we're addicted…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2016-10-04:4661400:Comment:2452842016-10-04T13:11:49.021ZAlisonhttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/Alison592
Yep. In fact, we're addicted to the emotions that we experience there, and what matters is our ability to control the need for a particular emotion (like that guy may have this fantasy once in a while or he may have it all the time during a day lol).<br />
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And choosing the 1 or 3 person type can have various reasons and thus various consequences.
Yep. In fact, we're addicted to the emotions that we experience there, and what matters is our ability to control the need for a particular emotion (like that guy may have this fantasy once in a while or he may have it all the time during a day lol).<br />
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And choosing the 1 or 3 person type can have various reasons and thus various consequences. Agreed. I know you didn't say…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2016-10-04:4661400:Comment:2455382016-10-04T13:02:04.575ZEretaiahttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/Eretaia
<p>Agreed. I know you didn't say daydreaming through others was a problem - I was actually expanding and referring to my own statement where I implied that self-negation is a problem - and I just added that daydreaming through others isn't since it doesn't necessarily involve self-negation. So, I was basically reaffirming what you said about that girl coming in touch with the pain through her characters. I just wouldn't call that type of daydreaming a form of self-negation since the fantasy is…</p>
<p>Agreed. I know you didn't say daydreaming through others was a problem - I was actually expanding and referring to my own statement where I implied that self-negation is a problem - and I just added that daydreaming through others isn't since it doesn't necessarily involve self-negation. So, I was basically reaffirming what you said about that girl coming in touch with the pain through her characters. I just wouldn't call that type of daydreaming a form of self-negation since the fantasy is therapeutic here and, through her characters, she is slowly consolidating pain with the self. But this could also easily backfire.<br/><br/>Anyway, to sum up, while a guy having sexual fantasies about two girls says nothing about self negation (lol), I would argue, however, that level of self-negation/self-inhibition is proportional to the level of addiction. If you're addicted to that fantasy, then we know for sure (from psychodynamic psychology) that there's some sort of self-inhibition going on. If not, you're fine. :)<br/><br/></p> I also need to clarify my wor…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2016-10-04:4661400:Comment:2453732016-10-04T12:17:57.838ZAlisonhttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/Alison592
I also need to clarify my words a bit to avoid misunderstandings. I didn't say that feeling through others or daydreaming was a problem (and I didn't interpret any of the posts here in that way). I mostly turned to the self-negation and too far from yourself part. I just want to explain my thoughts then. Yes, DD-ng comes from self-negation. And choosing the particular type of DD-ng in the third person over the first person one is also a consequence of self-negation in most times, but not…
I also need to clarify my words a bit to avoid misunderstandings. I didn't say that feeling through others or daydreaming was a problem (and I didn't interpret any of the posts here in that way). I mostly turned to the self-negation and too far from yourself part. I just want to explain my thoughts then. Yes, DD-ng comes from self-negation. And choosing the particular type of DD-ng in the third person over the first person one is also a consequence of self-negation in most times, but not necessarily. Sometimes, you lose yourself so much that you never involve yourself to your plots - becoz you can't imagine yourself there. Sometimes, you can't even accept that it's you who wants to be a part of this imaginary movie. But in other cases (mostly when you are aware your reasons for dd-ng), it's just about separating the two worlds - the real and the imaginary one. For me it was the first type in the beginning, now it's the second one. It just feels completely different, I'd say less disturbing. I can imagine myself in that plot, but it'd mean too much attachment to the imaginary 'myself' - I don't want that.<br />
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Also when I was younger, I spent lots of time DD-ng about myself in some kind of alternative version of my life, but after I turned to the third person one, I at least started separating the two worlds and paying at least a bit of attention to real things. And yeah, probably, the fictional universe also has something to do with removing yourself from the plot. What I'm trying to say here turning to the 3rd person style may be a consequence of self-negation or it may be not. Whereas MDD itself certainly has to do with that.<br />
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And yeah, the addiction is the problem, hard to disagree and in fact lots to discuss but that's another subject already :) We're basically saying the ex…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2016-10-04:4661400:Comment:2455372016-10-04T10:49:24.131ZEretaiahttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/Eretaia
<p>We're basically saying the exact same thing, Alison. I just need to clarify it a bit. Feeling emotions through somebody else is not a problem in itself. It <em>is</em> how artists and writers function. You're extending yourself through your artistic works or through your written characters and it would be pretty wrong to say that it's not normal to feel empathy with or through these phenomena. But that's not self-negation. That's the exact opposite of self-negation. <br></br><br></br>MD never…</p>
<p>We're basically saying the exact same thing, Alison. I just need to clarify it a bit. Feeling emotions through somebody else is not a problem in itself. It <em>is</em> how artists and writers function. You're extending yourself through your artistic works or through your written characters and it would be pretty wrong to say that it's not normal to feel empathy with or through these phenomena. But that's not self-negation. That's the exact opposite of self-negation. <br/><br/>MD never creates self-negation. On the contrary, MD is born out of self-negation as a mechanism against it, a tool to temporarily <em>come in touch</em> with yourself through your characters. So, MD is in a way an attempt of something good and therapeutic that ultimately goes wrong because of too much self-inhibition. <br/><br/>Daydreaming is not a problem. Feeling through others is not a problem. Wasting countless hours is not a problem. Addiction is. And addiction is always created when one cannot express feelings directly and instead has to transform that feeling to something else. When you're angry at your boyfriend and want to hit him for cheating on you, hitting a wall instead <em>helps</em> you express that anger. Because by hitting a wall, <em>you yourself</em> are <em>expressing</em> an emotion. You're letting it out. But when you daydream about hitting him, there's no letting out anymore. You're containing it inside you to hurt you and you alone and that's self-inhibition. If on the other side, you use your characters to <em>process and feel</em> pain that you can't feel on your own skin for the time being, that's somewhat positive - but eventually, you'll have to face it yourself. Otherwise, it remains forever negative.<br/><br/><br/></p> I think that daydreaming abou…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2016-10-04:4661400:Comment:2455362016-10-04T07:56:37.463ZAlisonhttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/Alison592
I think that daydreaming about the movies/books/games characters probably happens for the same reason people write fanfiction. Everyone understands that fanfiction is not only about continuing the original story with your own imagination - it's also (and imho mostly) about trying to feel things that the character feels through your own imagination - and usually to feel things you're very unlikely to feel in your real life. We mostly do the same, only not in writing, but simply in our mind.<br />
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As…
I think that daydreaming about the movies/books/games characters probably happens for the same reason people write fanfiction. Everyone understands that fanfiction is not only about continuing the original story with your own imagination - it's also (and imho mostly) about trying to feel things that the character feels through your own imagination - and usually to feel things you're very unlikely to feel in your real life. We mostly do the same, only not in writing, but simply in our mind.<br />
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As for self-negating, it might be but it might be not. And if it is, it's not necessarily bad. Recently my therapist told me about a girl who liked dd-ng about sad plots and crying, which was her way of letting out negative emotions. Imagine what would happen if she was making similar plots about herself - she'd probably drown in self-pity. Same goes about violent themes (my kind of thing, actually) - letting out aggression your mind has collected in the way that doesnt harm the real life.<br />
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As a former computer games addict, I'd compare DD-ng to a long absorbing computer game, where you can control the major story directions, be a person you want to be, and which makes you feel super-special (even though you know the protagonist could never be real and ofc could never be you). Computer games could be good in fact - so could dd-ng, when in small doses. But the thing is we are never satisfied with small doses and want more and more. Some people can stop - but unlike a computer game (which can be turned off physically), our mind is not that easy to handle, thus we keep playing our own 'game' over and over. But that's another topic already. Why do you think it has somet…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2016-10-02:4661400:Comment:2452762016-10-02T10:36:01.606ZLucehttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/Luce
<p><span>Why do you think it has something to do with dissociation?</span><br/> <br/> <cite>Nevv said:</cite></p>
<blockquote cite="http://wildminds.ning.com/forum/topics/daydreams-never-about-me?commentId=4661400%3AComment%3A245528&xg_source=msg_com_forum#4661400Comment245528"><div class="xg_user_generated"><p></p>
<p>I think it has a lot to do with dissociation and coping. </p>
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<p><span>Why do you think it has something to do with dissociation?</span><br/> <br/> <cite>Nevv said:</cite></p>
<blockquote cite="http://wildminds.ning.com/forum/topics/daydreams-never-about-me?commentId=4661400%3AComment%3A245528&xg_source=msg_com_forum#4661400Comment245528"><div class="xg_user_generated"><p></p>
<p>I think it has a lot to do with dissociation and coping. </p>
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</blockquote> All my DD's are about fiction…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2016-10-02:4661400:Comment:2455282016-10-02T03:19:14.640ZNevvhttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/ThestralNefarius
<p>All my DD's are about fictional characters and never about me. Mine are usually with characters from movies, anime, books, and TV shows. </p>
<p>I have similar DD's as you, as well as similar stories!</p>
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<p>I think it has a lot to do with dissociation and coping. </p>
<p>All my DD's are about fictional characters and never about me. Mine are usually with characters from movies, anime, books, and TV shows. </p>
<p>I have similar DD's as you, as well as similar stories!</p>
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<p>I think it has a lot to do with dissociation and coping. </p> I DD about fictional characte…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2016-09-20:4661400:Comment:2448962016-09-20T20:33:27.556ZLucehttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/Luce
<p>I DD about fictional characters, it has rarely been about me.</p>
<p>I notice that we have similar daydreams also. and a similar story!</p>
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<p>I started when I was younger than six years old, I can't remember exactly when, but I used to imagine adventures about my favourite cartoon characters.</p>
<p>It started like that, and then it got worse during the years. Family has always been an important theme in my DDs, happy families with cool loving parents and happy kids, romantic love…</p>
<p>I DD about fictional characters, it has rarely been about me.</p>
<p>I notice that we have similar daydreams also. and a similar story!</p>
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<p>I started when I was younger than six years old, I can't remember exactly when, but I used to imagine adventures about my favourite cartoon characters.</p>
<p>It started like that, and then it got worse during the years. Family has always been an important theme in my DDs, happy families with cool loving parents and happy kids, romantic love stories, dinasties...</p>
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<p>We share similar DDs themes: they're not about ourselves and they revolve around family and love.</p>
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