Daydreams: Deceptive Problem Resolution - Wild Minds network2024-03-28T11:05:47Zhttps://wildminds.ning.com/forum/topics/daydreams-deceptive-problem-resolution?commentId=4661400%3AComment%3A103148&feed=yes&xn_auth=noAs with alcohol addiction, it…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2012-10-07:4661400:Comment:1036762012-10-07T16:23:39.254ZLauren W.https://wildminds.ning.com/profile/LaurenW
<p>As with alcohol addiction, it may be that for some people, exercises like this are really helpful and resonate, and for some they are/do not. I think it's great food for thought, regardless.</p>
<p>As with alcohol addiction, it may be that for some people, exercises like this are really helpful and resonate, and for some they are/do not. I think it's great food for thought, regardless.</p> I second that. Dreaming about…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2012-09-30:4661400:Comment:1032182012-09-30T19:19:26.475ZGina Blackhttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/GinaBlack
<p>I second that. Dreaming about a certain thing means you believe that way your life would be better. But what deeper needs would this thing cover? Answering this will give you the chance to find easier ways of fulfilling your needs. I used to dream about a lot of impossible things, but in the end I realized I only need to be more indipendent, communicative and able to stand my ground against certain cituations. I were afraid to become the person I wanted to be, and get the life I needed so I…</p>
<p>I second that. Dreaming about a certain thing means you believe that way your life would be better. But what deeper needs would this thing cover? Answering this will give you the chance to find easier ways of fulfilling your needs. I used to dream about a lot of impossible things, but in the end I realized I only need to be more indipendent, communicative and able to stand my ground against certain cituations. I were afraid to become the person I wanted to be, and get the life I needed so I had pushed these "impossible desires" at the back of my subconscious. I have a long way to go, but my MD is getting obviously better now that I work on such things. </p>
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<p>In the end, the DDs were always about the feeling of not being able to have something in reality. Fighting against my fears, both by confronting them head-on and by chasing what I need, has persuaded my subconscious that it doesn't need to push me as much into MD. I hope I'm not mistaken, but it really seems to work so far, and I'm getting better.</p> Suppose being poor is somethi…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2012-09-30:4661400:Comment:1032132012-09-30T13:37:59.952ZJohn Khttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/JohnK
<p>Suppose being poor is something you are afraid of. The concept of "poor" is pretty vague, the general gist of it is a lack of resources and a lack of means to adequately provide for oneself but what are the specific (to you) fears involved. We don't fear unspecific scenarios so much as we fear scenarios that remind us of specific bad incidences that happened to the past (this is how we learn to adapt, if we ate a plant that was poisonous in the past we will look to avoid it in the future as…</p>
<p>Suppose being poor is something you are afraid of. The concept of "poor" is pretty vague, the general gist of it is a lack of resources and a lack of means to adequately provide for oneself but what are the specific (to you) fears involved. We don't fear unspecific scenarios so much as we fear scenarios that remind us of specific bad incidences that happened to the past (this is how we learn to adapt, if we ate a plant that was poisonous in the past we will look to avoid it in the future as well as any other plants appearing similar to it, just in case).</p>
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<p>So what about being poor is scary? Do you fear the social shame that can be attached to it? Do you fear you won't be able to find food and will starve? Do you fear it will lead to you living on the streets and you will be confronted with cold, crime, etc.? Nail down the specifics, chances are you aren't so much terrified of all the things that being "poor" can result in (even though most aspects are unpleasant) but some very specific things that have roots in the past. There have to be specific things in your life that have happened that make you feel what you are feeling now, you need to uncover these.</p>
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<p>Dig deep, narrow things down and get as specific as you can, and find the events and challenge your beliefs about them. I don't think you need to accomplish your daydreams so much as you need to address what it is they are compensating for. Just because there might be things about being poor you are afraid of doesn't mean you need to be rich, it might just mean you need to challenge your beliefs about them so that you can realize you can survive being poor and adapt to it, in doing so the fear won't be so crippling and you'll have a much better chance at changing your situation over time.</p> so your saying you daydream a…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2012-09-30:4661400:Comment:1028952012-09-30T08:57:02.802ZDarrenhttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/Wadupp
<p>so your saying you daydream about rich then you should daydream about being poor instead? this will make you realize that you don't want to be poor and you that you should try your best to not be poor? so, as a result you should go to school and get a good paying job (doing this requires many more steps than your 4). so your saying the same thing i say on my blogs, that eliminating md is about accomplishing your daydreams in reality...</p>
<p>so your saying you daydream about rich then you should daydream about being poor instead? this will make you realize that you don't want to be poor and you that you should try your best to not be poor? so, as a result you should go to school and get a good paying job (doing this requires many more steps than your 4). so your saying the same thing i say on my blogs, that eliminating md is about accomplishing your daydreams in reality...</p> We tend to overreact when we…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2012-09-29:4661400:Comment:1031482012-09-29T17:10:18.499ZJohn Khttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/JohnK
<p>We tend to overreact when we encounter things we are unsure of, for example how many people react when they see a bee (as if it were a man with a gun coming at them) or when they are about to be poked with a needle at the doctor's office. Because of this, our memories are rarely 100% accurate, we remember things mostly by how we <em>felt</em> at the time rather than by what actually happened (this is why eye witness accounts in court are often unintentionally faulty).</p>
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<p>Though…</p>
<p>We tend to overreact when we encounter things we are unsure of, for example how many people react when they see a bee (as if it were a man with a gun coming at them) or when they are about to be poked with a needle at the doctor's office. Because of this, our memories are rarely 100% accurate, we remember things mostly by how we <em>felt</em> at the time rather than by what actually happened (this is why eye witness accounts in court are often unintentionally faulty).</p>
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<p>Though your memories are painful, what it is you should try to accomplish is to separate what you felt from the reality of what actually happened. In doing so you can begin to look at ways the problem could be approached better or ways that the problem might be a result of what you were like at the time but irrelevant to how you are now.</p>
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<p>If you've identified the fears and painful memories take the painful memories and try to examine them (through daydreaming) as if they were currently happening to someone else rather than being an event that happened to you (try to imagine this person as looking, sounding, and being different than yourself). Try to figure out all the different ways this person could handle these events. You will start to realize that these situations aren't the impossible traps they seem, you just didn't know the solutions at the time (or perhaps weren't in a position to solve them at the time).</p>
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<p>It takes practice but the better you get at it the easier it will be to let go of bad memories that are holding you back and not develop bad memories from future events.</p>
<p></p> Update: I gave your solution…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2012-09-29:4661400:Comment:1028792012-09-29T14:49:59.574Ztafflehttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/JohnTang
<p>Update: I gave your solution a try and it hurts. When I try to picture my reality and DD about it, it makes me feel very uncomfortable and brings back painful memories from the past. So I try to alleviate the pain with MD and it took my mind off of reality.</p>
<p>Update: I gave your solution a try and it hurts. When I try to picture my reality and DD about it, it makes me feel very uncomfortable and brings back painful memories from the past. So I try to alleviate the pain with MD and it took my mind off of reality.</p> Talking about decisivenes...…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2012-09-27:4661400:Comment:1027682012-09-27T20:25:44.644ZGina Blackhttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/GinaBlack
<p>Talking about decisivenes... Currently, one of my "imaginary teachers" (they're a device of consulting with my subconscious) had me to choose between living in MD and living without DD. Hard choice, but I picked the second. He told me that's good, as in order to get tolerable MD levels I need to aim for the extremes (zero DD). His advice has always proved spot-on in the past, and although this was my first "decisive" day I'm already getting results. </p>
<p>I believe it's gonna work, if I…</p>
<p>Talking about decisivenes... Currently, one of my "imaginary teachers" (they're a device of consulting with my subconscious) had me to choose between living in MD and living without DD. Hard choice, but I picked the second. He told me that's good, as in order to get tolerable MD levels I need to aim for the extremes (zero DD). His advice has always proved spot-on in the past, and although this was my first "decisive" day I'm already getting results. </p>
<p>I believe it's gonna work, if I keep it up. Maybe being decisive is a big part of it indeed.</p>
<p>Let's see if it'll work, and for how long! I'll try both this and your method, John, for one full week, then post the combined results I got.</p>
<p>It's gonna be interesting!</p> I just realized something...w…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2012-09-27:4661400:Comment:1024922012-09-27T19:49:20.193ZGina Blackhttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/GinaBlack
<p>I just realized something...whenever meditation helps me control MD, I'm doing exactly what you described! Okay, not exactly-exactly...it takes a ton more time, so I rarely do it, but with your straightforward method it's gonna be a LOT more practical! <br></br>I have to experiment on this, thanks! Realizing the proccess will certainly be helpful! :D</p>
<p>I agree that it doesn't always work, but at least it cuts down a good part of the dream-flood. :)</p>
<p>Oh, the breathing tip is nice…</p>
<p>I just realized something...whenever meditation helps me control MD, I'm doing exactly what you described! Okay, not exactly-exactly...it takes a ton more time, so I rarely do it, but with your straightforward method it's gonna be a LOT more practical! <br/>I have to experiment on this, thanks! Realizing the proccess will certainly be helpful! :D</p>
<p>I agree that it doesn't always work, but at least it cuts down a good part of the dream-flood. :)</p>
<p>Oh, the breathing tip is nice too...might help me with my anxiety issues. :)</p>
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<p>Also agree that being decisive helps. The more you embrace MD, the more MD embraces you. It's hard to do, though.</p> Well, you have to consider wh…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2012-09-27:4661400:Comment:1026522012-09-27T16:35:19.320ZJohn Khttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/JohnK
<p>Well, you have to consider what you were hoping to accomplish.</p>
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<p>What I was hoping to accomplish by posting this all in the first place was to share methods that worked for me with others in hopes that it might work for them too.</p>
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<p>What will stating "it's not that easy" accomplish? Suppose instead I posted 4 steps about how to draw a tree instead, what benefit or use would "it's not that easy" be?</p>
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<p>It has been my experience that "it's not that easy" is…</p>
<p>Well, you have to consider what you were hoping to accomplish.</p>
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<p>What I was hoping to accomplish by posting this all in the first place was to share methods that worked for me with others in hopes that it might work for them too.</p>
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<p>What will stating "it's not that easy" accomplish? Suppose instead I posted 4 steps about how to draw a tree instead, what benefit or use would "it's not that easy" be?</p>
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<p>It has been my experience that "it's not that easy" is another way of saying "it's too hard for me" which in turn is usually a justification for "I'm tired of trying". Let's be honest, if solving MD was easy you'd have already done it, so of course it is not going to be easy (I am sure everyone here knows that). It's not about ease, it is about solving the problem.</p>
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<p>If you have alternate solutions to the problem to offer by all means feel free to post them, anything that might help someone out of this kind of rut is good in my books.</p>
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<p>One other thing,</p>
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<p>"<span>I am well in tune to why I daydream, what I seek in my daydreams I don't get in reality"</span></p>
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<p><span>I don't think that is exactly the case. I don't think it is what you seek and what you are not getting rather it is what you fear. We daydream to avoid mental discomfort, mental discomfort arises from fear. You daydream because you are afraid to face something, you have to address the fear. Often the "triggers" (like music) aren't the catalyst of a daydream but rather they are a reminder of a fearful thought and it is that fear that sparks the sudden urge for a daydream (drug, alcohol, etc. addictions work much the same way).</span></p> Presented simply does not imp…tag:wildminds.ning.com,2012-09-26:4661400:Comment:1024702012-09-26T16:55:08.287ZJohn Khttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/JohnK
<p>Presented simply does not imply enacted simply, and I never said it was simple at all. I realize just because I have had success with it doesn't mean everyone will, but just because you didn't find it as simple as you'd like does that mean everyone else won't either? "It's not that easy" is a pretty relative statement.</p>
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<p>All addictions of any kind are an escape from discomfort, a way to ease suffering, so the one thing that can be known as fact is that you are escaping…</p>
<p>Presented simply does not imply enacted simply, and I never said it was simple at all. I realize just because I have had success with it doesn't mean everyone will, but just because you didn't find it as simple as you'd like does that mean everyone else won't either? "It's not that easy" is a pretty relative statement.</p>
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<p>All addictions of any kind are an escape from discomfort, a way to ease suffering, so the one thing that can be known as fact is that you are escaping discomfort. Avoiding triggers, mindfulness, setting time constraints, etc. are like trying to treat an illness rather than cure one. The only thing that cures an addiction is dealing with the discomfort and eliminating your desire to escape from it. I am not saying my way is the only way to do it, I am merely suggesting one way to do it. </p>