Coping

[Jessica Ballantyne]

I used to cope with my loneliness by doing MD—but it strikes me, if I hadn't started MD and learned to socialize like people do, even if it means watching them, I probably would've been a happier person today. Becoming a young adult I was so excited towards life and forming relationships with people, so my maladaptive daydreams induced my mind to feel happy towards something I wanted to fulfill. There is a twist to this. MD was not helping me, it was doing the contrary. It was pulling me away from what I wanted to achieve, not only this, it made me extremely quiet and far-off looking on the outside, drawing unwelcome attention that I didn't need. I made people infuriated to be around me and not want to be my friend. They thought I had a big problem, wondered if I was smart and if I could talk. Above all, they wondered where my head was. People would interact and carry a conversation, but I would keep quiet and think deep thoughts, even be somewhere else. Looking all deaf and mute to them, and taking a trip to mars. It prevented me from looking like a very likeable and attractive person who can bond with people. 

[NatashaK]

"Becoming a young adult I was so excited towards life and forming relationships with people" I can relate to this so much!! I feel like I have lost all the hope about life and relationships and almost feel doomed to only live that inside my head. I don't really understand how human relationships work, because the only ones I have are inside my head with made-up people. I really hope joining this forum will help me get better and start living life. 

A hug in the distance! At least we're not as alone in this as sometimes we might think :)

[Jessica Ballantyne]

I thought life was going to be great. I was studying the arts, but it wasn't practical, then I took up a challenging practice that didn't work out. I remember serving at a fast food place to get myself through school, but felt that people were making remarks towards my mental health, and how I just wouldn't interact with them, and say some words now and then. I was inside my head a lot, making up stories in my head. Some of them caught the fact I was in another world at moments. Even a customer! I eventually didn't succeed as a designer, have to rethink my career. I wasn't ever successful in finding friends and forming relationships either. I look back at my early 20's as a server, realized I was full of myself, but I also needed help.