Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest
First let me say how glad I am to have found this site! It's wonderful knowing I'm not the only one!
Most of the time, I'm grounded in reality (meditation practice REALLY HELPS), but I have manic episodes and they always occur in tandem with fantasizing. When manic, I prefer to act out my fantasies. It's as if I inhabit two worlds, with the fantasy world becoming more and more central and the real world just a sort of stage or backdrop. Of course I keep my fantasy life a secret. I become very isolated, just to give myself the privacy I need to indulge this.
Sooner or later I begin to write my fantasies down. I've written several (unpublished) novels, in the sway of one of these manic episodes.
I was diagnosed with Bipolar I, or classic manic depression.
I was also sexually abused as a girl.
Does anyone else have bipolar disorder or trauma? If so, do you think this is why you experience MDD?
Thanks again so very much for being here. I might not post often, but visiting the site helps keep me in the real world, which, ultimately, is where I prefer to live my life.
All the best,
I have Bipolar I and MDD too. My fantasies get more vivid when i'm manic, I tend to act out my fantasies and It gets worse when i'm psychotic (that's when i really believe that the DD world is real). But it's when I'm depressed that i DD more often. I stay in bed for hours just daydreaming.
I have cyclothymia or bipolar NOS with cyclothymic features and i have hypomanic daydreams and mania daydreams sometimes. I never confuse them with reality but it sucks.
Im only manic or severely hypomanic in my daydreams. Its strange. Wheras, in reality i dont have manic episodes or anything. Its really strange.
Dx'd with, among other things: Bipolar (Rapid Cycling type) and yes to the trauma question.
I started DD so long ago, that I can't remember... first DD I recall was when I was 6 or 7.
So, at least to my mind, DD pre-dated my bipolar disorder, but concurrent with abuse. Perhaps as a way to go "somewhere else" like dissociation?
My "stories" aren't more intense when I am manic, although I can do them for crazy long periods of time, without sleep then! Most intensive stories when upset and/ or depressed and need to "go away".
sportsfan I;m like that too. I don't know if it's mania but i feel happy and less stressed however once i stop the daydreaming I return to normal. I'm still happier/more energized (as in not depressed) than before I daydreamed but I;m normal like not super happy or super sad just normal. Sometimes i get sad after daydreaming because I think about what a nasty habit it is and how it's ruining my life. ANyway,I think I've experienced mania twice in my life .I had cut daydreaming for 10 days. and then I started again I was super happy when I started daydreaming again but sad when I'd realized what I had done. The happiness lasted about 2 to 3 days. It wasn't exactly happiness mostly happiness/guilt/sadness. When I was daydreaming I was happy. When I wasn't all I did was feel guilt for daydreaming. And then I'd daydream again so I'd feel happy. then the effect would wear off and I'd feel guilty/sad. It was a ferocious cycle.
However,I do believe MD is a drug. It makes you happy and the moment the drug wears off your reverted back to where you were emotionally and sometimes worse. Escaping reality makes you happy because reality is not satisfying enough. The moment you're back to your reality you feel sad. I think that's normal.
Also I don't know if anyone else experiences this but when I'm super depressed I can't daydream at all or my daydreams are super depressing too. So I don't know. Sometimes most times they make me happy when I'm stressed or having my usual anxiety issues but when I'm super depressed it just makes me feel like sh!t lol
I never used to expereince MD until after I was sexually abused. My family tried to make me hide it by telling me that what had happened was all in my head. My mother was always very distant with me, she never told me she loved me or connected with me in anyway. Which lead me to read loads of books, write and turn to music. Having nobody meant that all I had was my day dreams.
When I am really down I zone out completly and do some form of acting by talking or laughing out aloud.