Ok I have noticed a recurring theme in my MD. It seems to revolve hugely around power. I have found myself checking up on people who have hurt me/humiliated me be it people I used to know from school or past ex's. When I see them all happy with their lives I instantly feel the urge to play some music that stirs some really powerful angry emotions inside of me. Suddenly I become people I associate with being powerful and feared. I feel stronger and my anger suddenly feels like it has a place to reside. 

When I snap too though I feel powerless again and inferior. For a brief few minutes or so though I feel like I have edge, like my existence equates to a lot more. It is almost....strangely addictive....

Its like the anger/regret I'm still holding on to fuels some powerful, addictive daydreams.

Anyone else get that or is it just me?

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It probably means you have lost control in certain areas of your life (in the past or present) that you're trying to compensate in fantasy. Like you said, after something like a trauma (big or small)

Same goes for people with OCD; that's also a way of gaining back control after having lost control in the past.

Satchi R said:

So what does that say about us ( those who have power fantasies) ? Could it be low self esteem or maybe acute social phobia or maybe some trauma in the past? Like I have a great family but when I was younger they pressured me a lot to be a certain way and I've always been this shy girl and still am.I dunno...

This is really interesting. My character is constantly trying to negate power - and to hand her responsibilities to others, and build other people up in their careers. So she can be more free. But in helping others become more powerful, she becomes more powerful as a consequence and it's an endless freedom killing cycle for her. 

My main character believes her thoughts and feelings are important (something in real life I sincerely doubt) - I think  feeling important is more addictive than actually having the power that creates importance. 

Yes I have MD just like yours because of my past experience in school. I was the one on top but some how I feel inferior to my peers, and MD was my way to feel accepted but we need to let go the hurts and
Move on with our lifes


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