Rant incoming, but if it's tl;dr I bolded questions and important details and just answer those if I'm too wordy for you. :P

I read about other people's experiences and I feel a bit alone because the most I hear of is pacing, mumbling, etc. while daydreaming. I'm pretty sure MDD is the term for mine as well, as all the rest of the criteria matches, but I don't see it defined really how mine manifests. Does anyone else experience similar things as I do?

"Daydreaming" is a bit of a weird term to call mine though. How I look when I'm daydreaming is how you'd see a young child playing pretend with their imaginary friends, not like a girl staring out the window during class.

  • I completely act it out, and I "see" my friends as actually there. I visualize them and kind of project them to a place in the room, make eye contact, hug, touch, and otherwise interact with them. Most nowadays are based on celebrities though, as it's easier to visualize them when you've got tons of pictures, interviews to see their mannerisms and voice, etc. 
  • I speak out loud to them, not just mumbling like I hear commonly. I "hear" their responses. I moved out  of my parents' house a year ago, and boy has it been a blast as I haven't had to whisper to them ever since. 
  • I'm emotionally invested, and feel real emotions as if they were triggered by events in the common world. I feel strongly when something is emotional, cry, feel pain. I find things and jokes they say funny, I've  had best friends that I actually found myself gradually, unexpectedly falling in love with. I physically get butterflies in my stomach when with my significant other. 

Also, as I grew up it started to get more realistic. I still write a lot of fantasy novels, but my world is more normal. Rith still has magic as she's had since the very beginning, but she's not saving the day, fighting wars, etc. She also used to have a birth year of 1990, then changed to 1992 when she got to the age she would have to leave her boarding school, and now she's my age. Usually instead of imagining surroundings (besides props) I physically go to the place. It's transitioned into less of a story-telling mode and more of a way to be who I want to be, have the friends and support system I need and don't get, and have excitement in my life. 

As a side question while I'm thinking about it, is anyone really frustrated by people referencing your world(s) as fictional, or am I just touchy or trying to delude myself? I'll clear up that I definitely am not psychotic, I am fully aware none of it is... the "r" word. My trigger words, "imaginary," "fictional," "real/reality," and others. To quote Dumbledore, "Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?" It's like saying 10+ years of my life were non-existent, that my struggles, the perils, my best friends, the falling-outs, new loves, breakups, fond memories, all that I went through didn't actually happen. And that sounds sad to some, but I really think I'd be dead by now, or at minimum I'd have accomplished barely anything that I have accomplished today (I've been clean from self-harm for at least three years, haven't been suicidal in six years, dropped out of high school and I'm now a college sophomore going for my BA in psychology, etc.) and wouldn't be half as happy and confident as I am now without it.

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I also visualize my characters in the space around me a lot of the time, so that's something we have in common :)

I do all that too. There are times where I dance with my characters when I hear music in my room. I also find my eyes become watery whenever I imagine my characters or my ideal self in my fantasy go through something sad. You're not alone. It's very common for MDers to do what you do :)


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