All Discussions Tagged 'relationships' - Wild Minds network2024-03-29T14:50:55Zhttps://wildminds.ning.com/forum/topic/listForTag?tag=relationships&feed=yes&xn_auth=noMDD affecting real life relationships, how do I start getting daydreaming under control?tag:wildminds.ning.com,2019-02-27:4661400:Topic:3360822019-02-27T00:18:09.546ZEannahttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/Eanna
<p>I have recently met someone I like a lot and we are moving towards a relationship, but I found myself incorporating him into my daydreams and I feel that the way I see him and interact with him in my daydreams is affecting our actual relationship. I have been trying to curb my daydreaming on my own for a little while now. I only found out the elaborate and lengthy daydreams id been creating for 6 years was actually maladaptive daydreaming last summer. I am in-between counseling for anxiety…</p>
<p>I have recently met someone I like a lot and we are moving towards a relationship, but I found myself incorporating him into my daydreams and I feel that the way I see him and interact with him in my daydreams is affecting our actual relationship. I have been trying to curb my daydreaming on my own for a little while now. I only found out the elaborate and lengthy daydreams id been creating for 6 years was actually maladaptive daydreaming last summer. I am in-between counseling for anxiety atm, moving away from regular talking therapy to CBT to properly kick anxiety out the way. Being in between counsellors means im only having monthly follow ups with no intensive work, I haven't mentioned my daydreaming to my counsellor but I feel like it may be starting to get slightly out of hand and I don't think a CBT therapist could do much, but if I mention it to my current counsellor and she wants to work on it with me then that means I can't start CBT. basically im in a bit of a pickle and need some advice on how to start the process of reigning in my daydreams on my own. </p> Do your romantic relationships in you daydreams affect your relationships in real lifetag:wildminds.ning.com,2018-02-18:4661400:Topic:2799302018-02-18T05:14:24.779ZShaehttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/Shae
<p>My therapist has to constantly remind me that my romantic relationships in my daydreams are not real and that I cant compare the relationship I have with my real partner to the ones I have in my daydreams. </p>
<p>Does anyone else compare those relationships to your real ones? </p>
<p>I'm worried I'll never be satisfied in my romatic relationships if I'm constantly comparing them to the ones in my daydreams </p>
<p>My therapist has to constantly remind me that my romantic relationships in my daydreams are not real and that I cant compare the relationship I have with my real partner to the ones I have in my daydreams. </p>
<p>Does anyone else compare those relationships to your real ones? </p>
<p>I'm worried I'll never be satisfied in my romatic relationships if I'm constantly comparing them to the ones in my daydreams </p> Daydreaming about the guy you liketag:wildminds.ning.com,2014-10-30:4661400:Topic:1947732014-10-30T19:56:52.556ZLunahttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/Luna
<p>First of all excuse my English, it's not so great...</p>
<p>I wanted to share my experience as I don't know if anyone else feels the same.</p>
<p>I mainly daydream about a guy I like but I am not in a relationship with. In the DD he usually tells me I am beautiful and quirky and intelligent and we are together and it's romantic etc. There are also some friends of mine usually (some of them I haven't seen in a while), who of course make me feel special.</p>
<p>I tend to obsess over this…</p>
<p>First of all excuse my English, it's not so great...</p>
<p>I wanted to share my experience as I don't know if anyone else feels the same.</p>
<p>I mainly daydream about a guy I like but I am not in a relationship with. In the DD he usually tells me I am beautiful and quirky and intelligent and we are together and it's romantic etc. There are also some friends of mine usually (some of them I haven't seen in a while), who of course make me feel special.</p>
<p>I tend to obsess over this person, even if I am not completely sure I like them in real life. Of course there is a spark but often I just borrow them as a character for my perfect imaginary world... </p>
<p>This creates problems in my real life as sometimes I am not able to tell if I am really into the guy or he is just the obsession du jour... At least at the beginning.</p>
<p>I am 40 and have been suffering from DD since I can remember. When I was a teenager I used to daydream about film stars, when I was a child about cartoons ;-) or imaginary friends. My triggers are music, loneliness, boredom, difficult situations.</p>
<p>I have a very low self esteem (hence the people in my dreams telling me I'm good), social anxiety, socially awkward, very shy and introverted, but I have a degree, a decent job (which I'm not very good at though) and a lot of hobbies... I have suffered from depression a bit but it's better now, just some agoraphobia which is almost gone, some body dysmorphia which is almost over as well. I get a bit too aggressive sometimes and throw tantrums (esp. if someone makes me feel inferior or I am driving in the city, or someone stares at me too much on the subway oops), but it's been getting a lot better.</p>
<p>I get bored really easily and I tend to really focus on one hobby at a time in a very passionate/a bit obsessive way for a while. </p>
<p>My mother is psychotic (thankfully the medication she has been taking has been working well in the last year) with paranoid tendencies, a long history of alcohol and prescription drugs abuse (she attempted suicide a couple of times). My father is a retired businessman, very clever but very demanding, nothing was ever good enough for him and my aloofness always annoyed him, I guess he never really accepted me (even though I know he really loves me and is a very nice person) even though I was ok in school.</p>
<p>My relationships with men have suffered, because of my shyness and my obsessive tendencies. I have never been in a relationship with someone I was really in love with. I had three longish relationships (1 year, 2 and 3 years) mostly because I felt lonely.</p>
<p>I am trying to fight this though, and this website is helpful, it makes me feel connected. I have been really trying to reduce the DD, trying to meditate and tell myself compliments ;-), my social life has been getting a lot better too (made new friends this year).</p>
<p>I never thought I could fight this but I am more motivated now, I want to increase my self esteem and try not to be alone too much and do interesting things, as these are my main triggers.</p>
<p></p> Has MD ever ruined a relationship?tag:wildminds.ning.com,2012-12-09:4661400:Topic:1179262012-12-09T22:41:53.263ZSecretSeraphhttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/SecretSeraph
<p>Hi,<br></br>I'm new here... but I've have MD since I was child. <br></br><br></br>To be honest I just found out about it today, well that there was an actual name for it. It has always just been a part of me and I thought it was weird but it helped me deal with bad times growing up, and a lot of loneliness so I didn't really see it as a problem. Once I reached adult life it would come and go mostly being sparked off by being alone, or times of significant depression.<br></br><br></br>I always just thought of…</p>
<p>Hi,<br/>I'm new here... but I've have MD since I was child. <br/><br/>To be honest I just found out about it today, well that there was an actual name for it. It has always just been a part of me and I thought it was weird but it helped me deal with bad times growing up, and a lot of loneliness so I didn't really see it as a problem. Once I reached adult life it would come and go mostly being sparked off by being alone, or times of significant depression.<br/><br/>I always just thought of it as an imaginary friend type situation that I didn't really grow out of, I thought it was abnormal but it didn't really concern me. I'm now 25 and I decided to see if anyone else had similar and googled 'my fantasies control my life' and found this forum. <br/>I'm not a particularly good sleeper and after a recent bout of insomnia it has become difficult for me to get to sleep especially if someone else is in the bed. So recently I asked my boyfriend of two years to sleep in the spare room to see if that helped.</p>
<p>Now instead of sleeping I find myself wasting hours in my MD world and now I find myself even asking him to sleep in the other room just so I can spend time in my MD world. He is obviously upset that he has been pushed out of the bed and I can't even begin to imagine how he would feel if he knew the real reason I was asking him to sleep in the other room.</p>
<p>Being alone in bed has become another trigger for me to slip into the other world and I can't control it. I really don't want to ruin my relationship,but my MD world is taking over and I don't want to do anything but stay in bed so I can dream my day away even when I have things that need to be done. When I try to resist going to that place I get a pain in my chest the type when you lose someone close to you.<br/><br/>Has anyone else had problems with MD interfering with their love life? How did you deal with it?</p> Perspective of characters...?tag:wildminds.ning.com,2011-10-27:4661400:Topic:612152011-10-27T03:06:38.914ZKirsty Amherthttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/KirstyAmhert
<p>No idea how to explain this, but I'm going to try to the best my ability.</p>
<p>I don't really put myself into my daydreams, but more like I create a character and put a few of my typical thought processes in them. I use this character to interact and observe the one I've created as the sole focus of the daydream. </p>
<p>I've heard of a lot of people having themselves as the main person in their fantasies, like, a tweaked or perfected version. The person who I kind of live through…</p>
<p>No idea how to explain this, but I'm going to try to the best my ability.</p>
<p>I don't really put myself into my daydreams, but more like I create a character and put a few of my typical thought processes in them. I use this character to interact and observe the one I've created as the sole focus of the daydream. </p>
<p>I've heard of a lot of people having themselves as the main person in their fantasies, like, a tweaked or perfected version. The person who I kind of live through doesn't really even have that much in common with me, and isn't the character that I feel attached to, or "love", but more like a vessel I use to act out affection towards the "main" character. </p>
<p>Not sure, I actually find it kind of strange that I'm not really included in my own fantasy world.</p>
<p>How are the dynamics of the relationships in your daydreams?</p>
<p>Sorry if this has been posted before, I just joined and lurked a little bit and didn't catch it, sooo.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Also, kind of unrelated, but does anyone else change their gender in daydreams?</p>