All Discussions Tagged 'characters' - Wild Minds network2024-03-29T08:39:00Zhttps://wildminds.ning.com/forum/topic/listForTag?tag=characters&feed=yes&xn_auth=noTo all those reluctant to quit: Letting go of MD and what it is (not)tag:wildminds.ning.com,2016-09-01:4661400:Topic:2444702016-09-01T23:02:25.436ZEretaiahttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/Eretaia
<p style="text-align: left;"><span class="font-size-2">Dedicated to all those of you scared of losing MD.</span></p>
<p style="text-align: left;"></p>
<p style="text-align: center;">---</p>
<p style="text-align: left;"><br></br> If someone were to give you a pill that would cure MD, would you take it?</p>
<p style="text-align: left;"></p>
<p>Would you end this?</p>
<p></p>
<p>You could call this a typical dilemma that eventually slaps every addict in the face and keeps them in maddening state of…</p>
<p style="text-align: left;"><span class="font-size-2">Dedicated to all those of you scared of losing MD.</span></p>
<p style="text-align: left;"></p>
<p style="text-align: center;">---</p>
<p style="text-align: left;"><br/> If someone were to give you a pill that would cure MD, would you take it?</p>
<p style="text-align: left;"></p>
<p>Would you end this?</p>
<p></p>
<p>You could call this a typical dilemma that eventually slaps every addict in the face and keeps them in maddening state of duality, yet this is such a sly question to ask oneself because you can’t answer it before answering another question first:</p>
<p></p>
<p>What is a ‘cure’ to you? What is <em>your</em> definition of life without MD?</p>
<p></p>
<p>Based on how you answer this one, the entire process of overcoming MD becomes preshaped in your head, paved with obstacles you expect to encounter, sacrifices you expect to make, side-effects you expect to suffer. If, to you, losing MD is like seeing all books burned is to a writer, will you be eager to overcome it? Of course not. If your idea of recovery is flawed, if your final destination is supposed to be a throne built on self-sacrifices, you will subconsciously do everything to <em>never ever</em> arrive there – even if you are consciously headed that way. Overcoming MD is a bit like intentionally walking into fire, and your instincts are programmed to make you hesitate.</p>
<p></p>
<p>But what if there’s no fire at all? What if it’s just our fear of fire and being burned that is holding us back?</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">–</p>
<p>If fantasy is the stubborn art of holding on, letting go is its opposite. By letting go, it’s almost as if you are committing a metaphorical suicide, a sort of self mutilation, where you give up bits of yourself embedded in a daydream in return for something that is supposed to be freedom, hoping the world will someday make sense but never being convinced of it. A part of you is terrified of overcoming MD because to you, somewhere at some tucked away part of your mind, there is a hardwired, irrational belief that overcoming MD means losing yourself. And if recovery is only a compromise where you have to choose the lesser of two evils, where being free of MD means losing feelings or creativity or oneself altogether, you will <span class="st">instinctively</span> sabotage all your conscious efforts centered on quitting – which is expected, and maybe, the most human thing to do after all. Reluctance to overcome MD is based on this very belief that one excludes and nullifies another – and yet, this happens to be a fallacy. Do you in your hearts of hearts really believe that in order for this to end you have to make such a bargain? If overcoming MD means losing what makes you human, would you settle for such a compromise and go as far as to call it a cure? Is that supposed to be freedom?</p>
<p></p>
<p>It may seem counterintuitive but, while overcoming MD does involve an immense, insane fear of letting go, it ultimately does not involve losing or giving anything up because there is nothing to give up in the first place. Everything was and will always be yours and the only problem all along was you not realizing this.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Fantasy is a canvas onto which you paint and project what was <em>already</em> inside you. When you lose fantasy, it is canvas you lose, not your creativity or the colors or your feelings. But without the canvas, without something through which your passion materializes and becomes (elusively) tangible, your true colors are never shown and your feelings never come alive – and right here you falsely come to believe that it is your passion and creativity that are gone. They are not – you are just missing a canvas to paint them onto. Without the canvas, they go inexpressible, indefinable and hidden from you. But they are still there.</p>
<p></p>
<p>The fleeting feelings that come with fantasy are like radio waves to your mind that is an antenna and a receiver, where signal is always there but without the antenna and the receiver, waves are never converted to music and in turn, music is never heard. Likewise, without MD, you only lose that temporal, fleeting <em>access</em> to your feelings but not the feelings themselves. How many times have you heard someone saying that they won’t give up MD because it would take away their imagination? The problem here is, MD does not make you more creative or imaginative, it does not make you a potential writer or give you any particular talents. If you are creative, you were always creative and MD was merely giving you a chance to express through fantasy what you always carried inside you and what could have been expressed in myriads of different ways had you been more confident of yourself. Your feelings, your imagination have always existed and will exist regardless of MD. But these traits and feelings all need a healthier platform than fantasy, a canvas through which they can be materialized and observed, through which they can be truly experienced: you – with a healthy sense of self, self that allows itself to experience entire spectrum of feelings, without diverting and changing them so that they hurt less. How can a daydreamer’s broken self that runs away from itself host feelings when it can’t even handle itself?</p>
<p></p>
<p style="text-align: left;">By overcoming MD, you are not overcoming imagination or fantasy but your <em>addiction</em> to it. Don’t be afraid. At the end of the day, the only thing you are letting go is a false sense of comfort and the urge to censor and always be in control of your feelings. Everything else is still there, awaiting for a healthier canvas, awaiting for you. Surrender to the feelings as they really are and see where they take you.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;"></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><strong>– Characters and Attachments –<br/> <br/></strong></p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Daydreams are not so much about your fictional lovers or friends as about you. You are projecting what little is left of your hopes to the characters you dream of being emotionally involved with so when you lose them to reality, you are also losing the image of yourself where you have finally reached self-acceptance and that frail, fleeting sense of belonging. Fantasy is made of metaphors where your unconscious doesn’t always pick the most explicit ways to talk back to you but when it does speak, it is telling you something big and your daydream characters are its expressions. They are not randomly invented or picked up personas or identities, they are mirrors and personifications of unresolved issues that are bothering you, they are feelings that slip in and out of selves. <em>Your</em> feelings. That is why abandoning them feels as if your soul got torn off – because in a way, it did. It is specific emotions you crave to experience and, with characters being embodiments of those emotions, your craving automatically extends to characters and you are caught in a web of dangerous attachments. And if your insatiable attachment to characters originates from attachment to your own <em>dissociated</em> feelings, then you are virtually attached to something that was rightfully yours all along and you were elusively reclaiming it back through MD.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;"></p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Most of us think of these characters, i.e. feelings as something separate from ourselves, something that came as a gift when we first plunged into MD, and consequently, something that will have to be taken away from us once we let go of MD – and it is from this construct that the pain and unhealthy attachments originate – from never really recognizing that they were always supposed to be yours. This is the crux of dissociation after all: inability to recognize parts of yourself as your own, falling for your own illusion of separation over and over again. You mistake the part for the whole and then wonder why you feel so incomplete.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;"></p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Analyze your fantasies and characters and when you think about them, think in terms of feelings. If one daydreams about being a singer, it’s not the role of a singer that one craves and that creates the high – it’s the feelings that come with it, the confidence, the effortless flow of emotions. People don’t get addicted to drugs. They get addicted to feelings that drugs trigger in them. When one gets addicted to benzodiazepines, it’s the feeling of calm and spontaneity and absence of anxiety that is the main catalyst for both creating and reinforcing addiction, not the chemical formula of the drug. It’s the feeling of calm that one is always returning to, not the drug itself. Same goes for you. While the narrative content of your fantasies does give you incredibly important cues on where your issues lie, it is not being a hero or having the adventure of your life that you want – it is the feelings these situations and scenarios awake in you.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;"></p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Fantasy is a bit of a non-self state. Just like in dreams, identities gets muddled, you change forms and selves, you experience emotions <em>through</em> other people and it becomes hard to tell where you begin and where the others end. And yet, all your characters are you in a way – they are vessels into which you incarnate bits of yourself and pretend they are someone else, they are personifications that go <em>beyond</em> the self and identities, they are <strong>manifestations</strong> of your ability to receive and give love, of your spontaneous self, free from inhibitions and anxieties of your current self. Even if you daydream about real people, there is no reality other than that inside your heart and everything else is just a projection canvas for it, even other people.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;"></p>
<p style="text-align: left;">No other drug or addiction will give you as much information about what is going on beneath the surface as fantasy. For example, in third-person fantasies involving love between two characters, sometimes, love is just love and sometimes, romance has absolutely nothing to do with romance and the two characters can represent two conflicting views or beliefs that the mind is unconsciously trying to consolidate. Every character in your fantasy is there for a reason. They are riddles to be cracked and translated to a feeling that needs to be dealt with, which eventually makes the attachment to that particular character or fantasy resolve on its own and takes away the feeling of duality.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;"></p>
<p style="text-align: center;">–</p>
<p>It took me a lot of pain over the past few years, a lot of internal struggles to be able to write what I just wrote. I don’t even know if these conclusions make sense to someone who hasn’t <em>felt</em> at least once that they have the right to the feelings experienced in fantasy. It’s a tough road ahead, probably with more failures than victories, but if you focus on strengthening your sense of self, there is a point where duality slowly starts breaking and feelings from fantasy start to bleed in the real self. It is in daydreamer’s nature to engage in a dangerous self-negation, becoming lesser so that fantasy can become greater because to us, for one to become stronger, the other indispensably has to become weaker. And so you learn to toss yourself aside, convinced that you can only have one at a time, never quite knowing that this split is reconcilable.</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><br/> ---</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span class="font-size-1"><a href="https://maladaptivedaydreamingguide.wordpress.com/2015/04/04/part-i-fantasy-and-fall-of-the-self/" target="_blank">Previous parts</a></span></p> Overcoming MD: Was it all just a lie?tag:wildminds.ning.com,2016-02-22:4661400:Topic:2250712016-02-22T17:21:38.875ZEretaiahttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/Eretaia
<p style="text-align: left;">I wanted to write this for those of you who feel as if they are giving up a part of themselves at the thought of losing MD. But sometimes, things are not like they seem.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;"></p>
<p style="text-align: left;">This is <a href="https://maladaptivedaydreamingguide.wordpress.com/2016/02/22/part-v-was-it-all-just-a-lie/" target="_blank">part 5</a> of the series of posts on overcoming MD but it also works as an independent post, just like the…</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">I wanted to write this for those of you who feel as if they are giving up a part of themselves at the thought of losing MD. But sometimes, things are not like they seem.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;"></p>
<p style="text-align: left;">This is <a href="https://maladaptivedaydreamingguide.wordpress.com/2016/02/22/part-v-was-it-all-just-a-lie/" target="_blank">part 5</a> of the series of posts on overcoming MD but it also works as an independent post, just like the previous essays.</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><em>---<br/> <br/></em> <span class="font-size-5"><strong>Was it all just a lie?</strong></span><em><br/> <br/> <br/> "My real self wanders elsewhere, far away,</em> <br/> <em>wanders on and on invisibly and has nothing to do with my life."</em> <br/> <em>- H. Hesse</em></p>
<p style="text-align: center;">-</p>
<p>Mechanisms driving fantasy addiction break down with <em>recognition of absence</em>, with poignant realization that your characters are not here, that they have never been here and never existed, that they were never yours. You're alone, completely and utterly alone and your most ardent passion, your trump card, that one thing that dissipates meaninglessness and takes away the feeling of crippling loneliness is a lie, just a self-crafted lie to stifle your existential turmoil.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Is it?</p>
<p></p>
<p>Is it really that cheap in the end?</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">---</p>
<p>You don't need me to tell you that, sometimes, maybe even most of the times, it takes looking oneself in the mirror and realizing that, god, we really are cracked and some of our daydreams are indeed just that, silly distractions and compensations to feed our messed up ego and get us out of the mud because we are too scared to try and step out on our own. Yet, this is just one tiny aspect of your defense mechanism that happens to be serve one far more important purpose.</p>
<p></p>
<p>What we call MD is not fundamentally wrong.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Before you decide that your levels of fucked up are so high or bizarre that they don't fit any diagnostic criteria, remember that those cravings driving your MD, they are cravings for <em>life</em>. Life that was denied to you. And there is nothing wrong with that, there is nothing wrong with protesting against the dullness of existing. This is what most substantial aspect of MD is, this is what MD itself is: your way of frantically holding onto that one reminder that you too can feel alive, in strange and deviant ways, but it's still your most honest attempt to <em>live</em>. Is it maladaptive? Yes, sometimes terribly so. But still, you are trying to live your life the only way you know it and there is no need to feel guilty over a habit that is merely a manifestation of your insatiable instinct to survive. If you're in deep, fantasy is where all your feelings escaped to, it's where <em>you</em> escaped to and metamorphosed into microcosms of intricate storylines and characters, so that your own emptiness cannot recognize you when it comes looking out for you. It's a game of hide and seek, where you are both hunter and the hunted - but you have forgotten where to search, you have forgotten where you hid yourself.</p>
<p></p>
<p>MD is an extension of you. <em>It is you</em> to the very core of your being<em>.</em> It is the feelings you never got to express, words you never said, beliefs you never defended, traits you never nurtured enough. But these phenomena, they exist as latent possibilities somewhere deep within your mind, they exist as seeds that were left forgotten and never got to flower. But they are not gone, they still can be sensed faintly somewhere on the other side of consciousness. If you are cold, it means you instinctively <em>know</em> the meaning of warmth, even if you have never felt it. That burning love some of you have for your dreamworlds, for your characters, "made up" love also had to come out from somewhere. You didn't invent it, you didn't fabricate it. It came from depths of your subconscious that craves and <em>knows</em> how to feel love. If you know how to love fantasy, then you have the ability to love reality too because this war is not about fantasies and realities - it is about <em>you</em> and <em>your</em> ability to love. As I explained in <a href="https://maladaptivedaydreamingguide.wordpress.com/2015/04/06/part-iii-are-you-there/">III part</a>: overcoming addiction to fantasy does <em>not</em> mean finally learning to love reality - it means rediscovering that self you sent into exile. The only reason one can madly love fantasy, while remaining indifferent to reality, is because to love fantasy, you don't need a self. You merely exist as an awareness without identity, a selfless observer who consumes and lives off their characters and idealized selves. But to love and interact with reality, you sure need a well-defined self because it is the <strong>receptor</strong> through which you perceive reality. Without this receptor, reality cannot and will never <em>get</em> to you. You know what reality is? It <em>doesn't</em> exist. Reality is moulded by feelings, made by feelings, born through its observers. It doesn't exist without <em>you</em> observing it, without <em>you</em> feeling it.</p>
<p></p>
<p>You have forgotten yourself. You have forgotten in order to forget the discomfort that comes with it and by forgetting yourself, you have also forgotten reality. You're held back by your own convictions that you are too different, too dysfunctional for this world. Living - what should come off as an instinct, like breathing, like blinking, for you occurs as a sophisticated skill that has to be practiced daily, with crippling bouts of tiredness at each pretense to be alive. Every day is a pretense, every fucking moment, pretense to smile, pretense that what your friend says gets to you, pretense to care, pretense to be alive. But this, too, is a defense mechanism that must be broken. Otherwise, you will always be standing on the sidelines, torn between watching other people living their lives and watching your characters living their lives. But where are you in all of this?</p>
<p></p>
<p>Life has to begin somewhere. Maybe it will not begin with rediscovering bliss, maybe it has to begin with pain, with surrender to all things repressed. Maybe you have to peel layers of yourself until you get to that place where things got blocked. Maybe you have to try to expose your dream self to the world, to someone other than you. Get things out of your system. Your beliefs, your feelings, your demons. You have to let someone other than you observe these feelings, directly or indirectly. I do not know how many false versions of yourself, defense mechanisms and fortified walls will have to fall for this to happen, but for your existence to be acknowledged, for it to bleed into reality, you have to <em>try</em> to reveal what was kept sealed. There is nothing more draining than waking up to the thought that no one can see the dream (real?) you, or touch you, hear you, witness the fires burning inside you, no one can warm up to those flames. There won't be a single testament of what existed inside you when no one watched. Have you ever wondered, if fantasy is the only place where you feel genuinely alive, why are you so secretive about it? Seriously, what's the point? Why do you hide the only thing that feels oddly right in a world where everything else seems wrong? Well, of course. You try to live out your daydreams, become the better version of yourself, you direct that energy to the real world, and what happens? The energy hits a wall and never reaches real world, leaving you forever estranged. Feelings you want to express are ideally supposed to flow naturally from your fantasies to your real self, but as soon as they reach your real self (that is, as soon as you try to express them in reality), everything backfires because your state of self is so broken and fragile that it cannot <em>host</em> these emotion, which is what prevents their expression.</p>
<p></p>
<p>To communicate your daydream feelings with the outside world, there has to be a bridge between your own world and the outside world through which these feelings can flow and this bridge is the <em>self</em>. Without it, those two worlds cannot communicate and this is where the split occurs, this is precisely where MD cuts you in two. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having a vivid inner life; writers, poets, artists, philosophers, they all have it, don't they? But unlike us, people with healthy inner life are not split. Their worlds are communicating with each other, ours are not.</p>
<p></p>
<p style="text-align: center;">---</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"></p>
<p>Behind every daydream, there is a <em>feeling.</em></p>
<p></p>
<p>It drives your plot, it molds your characters. It's the mastermind behind it all. Every character, every single story is an embodiment of it. The entire narrative content of your specific daydream is driven by an emotion that you failed and continuously fail to <em>express</em> in real life - and as long as this particular emotion remains unexpressed in your real life, by your real self, the respective daydream which is driven by it will not stop.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Every daydream is a personified feeling, a throttled desire to <em>feel</em> something, not to possess. And these feelings, they are truer than anything else, they are bits of the puzzle missing from your real self. The stories you weave in your head are an attempt to salvage bits of yourself, gone a bit wrong, but still, they were born out of your desire to live, out of your desire to change things. It is your primal hunger for life, for emotional or intellectual stimulation, for connection, fulfillment, meaning, passion. The silliest thing you can do to yourself is ignore the hunger and pretend you can live without it. You can't. You shouldn't. Instead of obsessing how to ignore the hunger, why not try to find some food for your soul?</p>
<p></p>
<p>But before you can do that - find yourself.</p>
<p></p>
<p style="text-align: center;">---</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><br/> <span class="font-size-1">You can read previous parts here:<br/> <a href="https://maladaptivedaydreamingguide.wordpress.com/2015/04/04/part-i-fantasy-and-fall-of-the-self/http://" target="_blank">Part 1</a> | <a href="https://maladaptivedaydreamingguide.wordpress.com/2015/04/06/part-ii-are-you-there/" target="_blank">Part 2</a> | <a href="https://maladaptivedaydreamingguide.wordpress.com/2015/04/06/part-iii-are-you-there/" target="_blank">Part 3</a> | <a href="https://maladaptivedaydreamingguide.wordpress.com/2015/07/30/part-iv-the-void/" target="_blank">Part 4</a></span></p> Projecting DD characters into realitytag:wildminds.ning.com,2016-01-15:4661400:Topic:2224662016-01-15T17:37:15.244ZLynnkhttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/LynnK
<p>I'm pretty tired, so if I word this in a strange way, I apologize. If you would like for me to elaborate, I can. </p>
<p></p>
<p>I'm hoping maybe someone can relate to me in this subject, only because I have done this on plenty of occasions, and it's one of the most frustrating (and sometimes even tormenting,) aspects of my MDD symptoms.</p>
<p></p>
<p>I am able to project a DD character into 'reality' (not physically, of course, it's all in the imagination.) Normally, it's a character who…</p>
<p>I'm pretty tired, so if I word this in a strange way, I apologize. If you would like for me to elaborate, I can. </p>
<p></p>
<p>I'm hoping maybe someone can relate to me in this subject, only because I have done this on plenty of occasions, and it's one of the most frustrating (and sometimes even tormenting,) aspects of my MDD symptoms.</p>
<p></p>
<p>I am able to project a DD character into 'reality' (not physically, of course, it's all in the imagination.) Normally, it's a character who I can consider a friend or younger sibling, usually when I'm out for a walk, so I don't feel completely alone. Even sometimes at work (I walk a lot at work,) most of the time, I can have someone with me, projected, talking and interacting with them within my mind. I guess it makes work a whole lot less boring...</p>
<p></p>
<p>Sometimes, though, I end up projecting an intimidating character from a show or my own imagination, somewhere near me, i.e, half-hidden by a tree, or a street lamp - I unintentionally project the character there. It's disturbing enough to even imagine a stranger, just in sight and around the corner, but imagine a character that completely intimidates you standing in that place. I honestly don't know if it makes it better or worse, really. There isn't really any way to confront that situation in the real world with a real person, and for it to be from your own mind...still, the question - better or worse? </p>
<p></p>
<p>I normally just walk by, look the other way (nervously, of course,) - Internally, I'm saying 'nononono, go away.' Or try to confront them within my own DD - that normally does not turn out well.</p>
<p>I just walk right by, and the projection fades as my anxiety quells. I sometimes even feel eyes bore into me as if there were a real living being there. It is an extremely uncomfortable experience.</p>
<p></p>
<p>I theorize that this may be my brain's way of coming up with a solution to avoiding and/or confronting real danger, but it's not working, and it's very unsettling.</p>
<p>I'd like to know if there's a way to stop it (I've tried ignoring it completely, and tried to wipe my mind's eye of the projection, but that takes a lot of concentration and a few swear words of frustration.) But the threatening presence is strong, within my mind, and when it projects itself into reality. I feel that making a character that could defend me would further feed into the MDD, and will lead me further into other DDs when I really shouldn't be (i.e, walking to work, or working even,when I should really be focusing on my surroundings,) but, maybe as a temporary solution, that's all I can think of.</p>
<p></p>
<p>I would like to know if any of you experience such a thing.</p>
<p></p>
<p><em><span class="font-size-1">I really hope I'm not alone when it comes to this one; Can I finally consider myself completely crazy then?</span></em></p>
<p></p>
<p><span class="font-size-2">Note: I have OCD, this could be an important factor of why some of my DDs can cause some level of anxiety in reality, instead of a normal, happy, fun, comfortable escape from reality. Sometimes, my intrusive thoughts <em>involve</em> my DD characters.</span></p> My Story (Any feedback would be greatly appreciated- good or bad!)tag:wildminds.ning.com,2012-05-29:4661400:Topic:905152012-05-29T18:57:34.496ZBeefhttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/BethanSianGoodwin
<p>I wrote a short story for a competition in a magazine- I didn't need to invent characters, the four mentioned characters in this story were pulled right from my main Daydream. I want to know whether it is good or if it is a pile of crap. Any positive or negative feedback would be very helpful.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>Best Friends…………by Bethan Goodwin</strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s just because he’s famous,” I muttered to my friend, Ellie. Zac smiles and waves at us when he walks by with his…</p>
<p>I wrote a short story for a competition in a magazine- I didn't need to invent characters, the four mentioned characters in this story were pulled right from my main Daydream. I want to know whether it is good or if it is a pile of crap. Any positive or negative feedback would be very helpful.</p>
<p></p>
<p><strong>Best Friends…………by Bethan Goodwin</strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s just because he’s famous,” I muttered to my friend, Ellie. Zac smiles and waves at us when he walks by with his friend Calvin, they are closely followed by a dozen giggling girls. It’s been this way ever since he landed a big part on Eastenders. Girls who used to completely ignore him were now having heated arguments over who would sit next to him in class.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He and Ellie are twins, and they have been my best friends since we were babies. They live right next door.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Every other girl had posters of him on their walls, ripped out of magazines. On my wall I have real childhood photos of us, and my favourite one, a picture of us arm in arm at a recent party. He got drunk at that party and kissed me while we were dancing, it was the most magical seven seconds of my life!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>After growing up with him for the past sixteen years it is so weird feeling like this. I love him so much, but I’m too scared to say anything, I don’t want to ruin my friendship with them. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I hate the way they keep eyeing him” Ellie snapped, pointing towards two girls who were in our class in primary, “They used to pick on him all the time!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I should go ask him out!” I exclaimed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“OMIGOD!” I thought “I just said that out loud!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Did you just say that you want to ask out my brother?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Uh yeah, I think I should keep him occupied, to keep all these girls at bay.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She seemed satisfied with my answer, “Good idea, go ask him, now!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I saw him going into an empty computer room with Calvin. I walked up the corridor and opened the door, stunned by what I found. Zac and Calvin were, as they say, playing tonsil hockey. They hadn’t noticed me; I closed the door quietly and turned to walk away, trying not to cry.</p> Perspective of characters...?tag:wildminds.ning.com,2011-10-27:4661400:Topic:612152011-10-27T03:06:38.914ZKirsty Amherthttps://wildminds.ning.com/profile/KirstyAmhert
<p>No idea how to explain this, but I'm going to try to the best my ability.</p>
<p>I don't really put myself into my daydreams, but more like I create a character and put a few of my typical thought processes in them. I use this character to interact and observe the one I've created as the sole focus of the daydream. </p>
<p>I've heard of a lot of people having themselves as the main person in their fantasies, like, a tweaked or perfected version. The person who I kind of live through…</p>
<p>No idea how to explain this, but I'm going to try to the best my ability.</p>
<p>I don't really put myself into my daydreams, but more like I create a character and put a few of my typical thought processes in them. I use this character to interact and observe the one I've created as the sole focus of the daydream. </p>
<p>I've heard of a lot of people having themselves as the main person in their fantasies, like, a tweaked or perfected version. The person who I kind of live through doesn't really even have that much in common with me, and isn't the character that I feel attached to, or "love", but more like a vessel I use to act out affection towards the "main" character. </p>
<p>Not sure, I actually find it kind of strange that I'm not really included in my own fantasy world.</p>
<p>How are the dynamics of the relationships in your daydreams?</p>
<p>Sorry if this has been posted before, I just joined and lurked a little bit and didn't catch it, sooo.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Also, kind of unrelated, but does anyone else change their gender in daydreams?</p> Characters?tag:wildminds.ning.com,2010-05-10:4661400:Topic:8912010-05-10T06:19:11.000ZBrittany M.https://wildminds.ning.com/profile/BrittanyMiranda
<p>I would like to know about some of the characters all of you guys have made up through the years. I dunno if thats too personal but I guess I'll start....</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Here are only two of the hundreds of characters I have imagined. (The most prevalent)<br></br></p>
<p>Brittany: A version of myself? I question that because she's supposed to be me but is nothing like me. She is the daughter to Sharlee and Johnny. She is half Hawaiian half Irish, 100% unique. She met her best friend Tyler when…</p>
<p>I would like to know about some of the characters all of you guys have made up through the years. I dunno if thats too personal but I guess I'll start....</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Here are only two of the hundreds of characters I have imagined. (The most prevalent)<br/></p>
<p>Brittany: A version of myself? I question that because she's supposed to be me but is nothing like me. She is the daughter to Sharlee and Johnny. She is half Hawaiian half Irish, 100% unique. She met her best friend Tyler when she was 3 (they were playmates and neighbors) Her father is an ex-drug addict and she has been taken away by CPS several times due to her drug addicted father. She was raised by her grandfather until the age of 8, when she was 8 she witnessed her grandfather commit suicide. She hates women because her mother was abusive the handful of times they encountered each other. Music is her life, she is very intellegent and does well with anything that involves art. She has bright green eyes, light brown hair and is very petite. <br/></p>
<p>Johnny: Brittany's young father. He had Brittany at the age of 16, he is an ex meth, cocaine, and herione addict. He is a current alcoholic. A very easy going loving man who practices laissez faire parenting. He spent two years in prison for assult on a minor.His best friend is Dave Grohl from the Foo Fighters (hahaha). He and Brittany were once homeless for 3 months. He is a terrible womanizer, maybe a sex addict. But everybody loves him despite themselves and his raunchy humor. :) By the way he's like 6'5".</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Anyway there are those small tidbits about two of my characters. I'm curious to see if anybody else has created a community in their mind like I have. My communtiy is soo detailed...hair colors, eye colors, food preferences, height, weight, personalities, likes & dislikes, homes, pets, relationships etc... Please share!</p>